Weird…
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be…
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
“Life was filled with guns and war,” the song begins, “and everyone got trampled on the floor. I wish we’d all been ready.”
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
“Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn’t counting on a genius like me coming along.”
- a whole shitload of different preachers
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
The ones that could self selected out. (Or were kicked out.)
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
But surely it won’t happen until after God sees those files. They might affect who gets raptured. /s
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I’m down to support it.
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
Christians are almost always been selective about what parts of the bible they believe (or even bother to read) and this is an easy example. The bible makes very clear that the date the world ends will be known to none but god. There won’t be a warning from angels and humans won’t be able to figure out in advance. There could be signs it’s coming that people pick up on but someone saying “it’ll be this day on this month” will always be a lie. That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
it’s all carnies and rubes.
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
They must not think Trump is releasing the Epstein files any time soon.
Well…on that front, they wouldn’t be wrong.
Even Jesus, who is God, sorta, didn’t know when it would happen. He told his disciples he would return in their lifetime.
From what I understand this is a common misconception
The most common Christian apologetic is to say he was talking about the transfiguration. That fails because the language is clearly talking about his return. The early church clearly thought he was going to return in their lifetime. Also, the transfiguration a few days later. It’s weird to say “some of you will still be alive in a few days”
I have yet to meet a Christian who doesn’t regularly practice at least one of the 7 deadly sins.
In the modern age, just Greedy, Envy and Wrath are already common amongst the vast majority of Christians - I mean, if you want to punish immigrants becuase you think that “they’re taking our jobs” that’s already Greed and Wrath and possibly also Envy.
Then even the most pious religious people are generally Prideful, at the very least on how close to the Lord they thing they are and how superior their own moral and ways are.
Sloth and Gluthony also tend to be very common - you certainly don’t get overweight “epidemics” in a country without tons of people doing very little when they could do more (say, riding their car everywhere) and eating far beyond what they need.
If there’s ever a Rapture, nobody will notice because only a handful of people - most of whom eremits living separate from the rest of the World - dissapears.
Sell car.
Donate to church.
GGEZ
Church: no re
I wonder if the inverse would hold true
If somebody “knows” its the rapture, then it must not actually be the rapture
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
He’s about to release the… Look squirrel!
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
Swallow the sins of man
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can’t lift it?
List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
checks list Cool, the one I added (and documented) is still listed.
Well, we’re getting close though. Only 5 more left.
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
This happened in AD 221.
The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We’re staying along for the ride.
Because it’s impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: “There’s this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it’s delicious!”
I’m sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I’ll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don’t get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I’ve been to multiple locations and they’re all the same.
It’s too bad there’s only one fried chicken restaurant in existence
Simply do this for every product you buy, or go to the Bad Place.
I feel like you can keep track of the ones actively doing genocide and famous for it when they’re just one franchise instead of a megaconglomerate that makes everything under two hundred different labels.
Go to Popeyes instead of getting in line with the rest of the WASPs, it’s not a big ask.
Yes Lot, just don’t look back, or I’ll kill you.
And then the probing began.
The one raptured dude was super high on fent so they assumed it was an OD.
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
Nice try.
The Rapture did happen, and you failed to make the cut.
Actually, this is something I could relate to.
This is hell. Like, literally.
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
In our era, a new way of winning the race to be the British Newspaper with the most Journalistic Integrity appeared: just stand still as a tabloid with little or no Journalistic Integrity whilst everybody else just runs by you in the opposite direction of “better” on their way to Pure Propagand Outlet.
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Oh God, don’t even give them any ideas. I’m already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they’re going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
“This was all part of God’s plan.”
After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday
be the change you want to see in the world
Well I went to heaven, just as predicted. Let me tell you: it is GREAT up here. And free WiFi too, as you can see.
Cool. How’s the food? Are there orgies?
Food is surprisingly good actually. Lots of grapes. No Orgies yet, but they drag Epstein from hell everyday to give us all bjs.
Wait people were taking the rapture seriously
My aunt is basically a crazy evangelical, and yes, she thinks we are living in the end times, and wants to usher in the end times faster so she can get to heaven. Its batshit insane.
Bud, my entire family says this every time I talk to them. Which is rare, thankfully.
Kooky shit.
not even god knows what’s in the files? this does go deep!
Death cult makes up another excuse for their god not existing.
“We know it’s fiction, but we hate you for not believing our bullshit!”
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes. Fuck you specifically for supporting evil religions.
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
Pretty sure bad people don’t need religion to still do bad things and lie. I’m pretty certain murder and other such horrors existed before religion did.
Which is to say, y’all would be still talking about Charlie Kirk, tariffs, etc still instead of Epstein.
72% of Americans have some form of religious belief.
If religious people fuck everything up you are literally surrounded by them.
“Some form” is pretty broad. They may not actually mean all religions, either.
But I don’t think that raging against the majority is uncalled for.
There’s a difference between raging against the majority, and saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”. It’s a wonder anything is standing if that was the case.
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”
That’s not really what they said, though. Most of that 72% does non-religious stuff most of the time. Imagine how much better things could be if we were less fucked up!
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes
Sure sounds like they don’t care if they do “non-religious stuff most of the time”
Ok…then we’re surrounded by people who fuck up the planet.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
Like we’re already past the point of no return for climate change. We can’t unfuck the planet.
So why is it hard to believe that the majority of people are huge fuck-ups in life? Including you.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
I never claimed otherwise?
And how helpful is it to scream “fuck humans, all they do is fuck everything up, even the so called good humans fuck you for supporting the humans fucking things up!”
There, have I fixed climate change now?
