A friend who gets catcalled often thinks it’s mostly men posturing for other men; they don’t usually do it when they’re alone.
As a woman, my experience says this is largely dependent on the culture. Go to Latin America and men cat call women even when they’re alone. Day, night, at work- doesn’t matter. If anything, I’ve never been catcalled in enclosed spaces such as public transport or elevators, but I’ve occasionally had a hand on my ass if it’s super crowded. If you ask me this totally puts them in the bully category, and bullies can also work in groups.
In Australia I’ve only seen men catcalling women while they are drinking, and yeah they were also not drinking alone. The catcalling also feels sillier or less serious somehow, perhaps because it’s obvious they’re being drunk and stupid.
YMMV.
Edit: also let me add, in the first example men catcall any woman. I think any woman between the ages of 12 and 60 is a good target for catcalling, as long as they’re not morbidly obese.
In the second example, only conventionally attractive women, often dressed somewhat suggestively, get catcalled.
I wasn’t really thinking about cultural differences in my comment. The friend in question is a conventionally attractive woman who lives in the USA.
As a man, that’s been my experience.
Women are simply objects in those situations. Something to be ogled at as they walk by. Men don’t care what those women think of them, they’re signaling to each other that they find that woman attractive.
The guy might have an internal monologue like “man, she’s hot!” and it escapes into the air as a way to feel like he’s making progress towards getting to sleep with her. I doubt the guys expect it to actually be effective.
I dunno. I’ve never done it and I’ve very rarely seen it in the wild.
The devil doesn’t need more advocates.
I’m not advocating for the man in my hypothetical, just suggesting what he might be thinking. Sort of the main conversation in the comments, isn’t it?
And I’m allowed my opinion that no matter the intent, catcalling is harassment.
It doesn’t MATTER if the guy thinks the woman is hot. He put his own wants ahead of her comfort and safety.
As a big burly (but cis) bloke who would be described as a “bear” in some circles, there’s nothing more fun than supporting my female friends then returning the “compliment” back to these men. It’s funny how quickly they find it repulsive and it can be quickly turned into a learning experience for them.
It’s basically bullying like you say. They enjoy the power they hold over a woman to be able to say degrading things about her without consequence.
A combination of the power of making them uncomfortable and a lack of empathy and viewing women as objects to be admired and not full people.
You’re assuming they think at all.
lol
I don’t think you realize they don’t care and don’t have that social respect normal people have.
I also think it’s infantile behaviour, crowd/group mind psychology where they collectively act worse than the individual; IMHO the bully/cat caller gets pleasure in reaffirming their role within the group and will continue to do so unless somebody from the group itself strongly challenges them (complains, warns them, etc) or something else goes badly for them from bystanders intervening.
They pretty much don’t care about the response from the victim unless it’s “entertaining” and reenforces their clown act
Not a psych worker, just my 2c
BTW it reminds me of the phenomenon where a crowd freezes instead of helping an injured person, since there’s too many people and little “per capita” pressure to help a stranger in need
When I see people out exercising I often get the urge to yell that they are doing a good job or looking great if I see them working hard. But I never do.
If someone said that to me I would probably assume it’s sarcasm
I’ve done it plenty of times.
I did it to encourage people to be in good shape, because it started with people doing it to me.
I’m a cis man, so maybe take this with a grain of salt, but if I get encourement from a random person like this, I absolutely kick my effort up a notch and remember it for months-years.
I’d like think people might be able to tell the difference between “keep it up” or “you’re doing great” and a full on catcall, but I’ve never been catcalled so… ¯\(ツ)/¯
I go for a thumbs up in that scenario.
I enjoy giving compliments to passing strangers because I know how much it means to me in the rare occasions that I have received one. Of course i’m very careful to not choose stress-inducing topics and not to time it when the subject would be stuck with me, e.g. an elevator.
I get to see so many smiles from recognizing cartoon characters on kids’ clothes, complimenting older guys on their bold hat choices, or someone’s colorful glasses frames.
The world needs more smiles!
Second option all the way. If they thought cat-calling could earn them a date they’d have realised empirically that it doesn’t
It’s always seemed like negative attention seeking to me. Pretty much bullying with the facade of “compliments”
The shotgun approach. do it often enough, and you’ll fine someone who’ll like it for some reason
Somebody actually cat-calls women? Not just a stereotype from 80’s broadcasting?
If they do, I’d imagine it’s a role they think they have to play for their peers. Do they do that when they are alone?
Tbh, they catcall teenage girls far, far more than they catcall women. And yes, it happens all the time when you’re young enough.
As a man I can’t say much, but I have never seen it done. There might be some geographical differences.
Or perhaps it’s because you aren’t the target for catcalling?
True, but in my 40+ years I’d expect to be a bystander at least once.
Not saying it doesn’t happen, just interested where.
Everywhere. It happens everywhere.
It’s very easy to miss what women go through on a regular basis when you’re a man tbh.
It’s very easy to miss what women go through on a regular basis when you’re a man tbh.
but ULTRA surprising and VERY ego inflating when it does happen, but probably only so if you’re a man. lol
Ew no. It’s demeaning and humiliating.
I might have been on the other end then.
I do think that they think it’s a compliment. I guess they don’t have any women in their lives to smack some sense into them.
It’s just fun for them. There is no thinking involved, so your question is meaningless.
This is the correct answer. At most they do think you like it. “Its just a compliment” etc.
