Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.
The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.
Not saying it doesn’t happen but I’ve seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?
The internet can amplify incredibly marginal phenomenons. Like, how many incels can there possibly be? Yet you hear about them all the time
You actually have this conversation with people regularly?
It’s a great ice breaker
Also good at the end of a job interview, and they ask if you’ve any questions.
Proof homophobes are full of shit.
How does this even come up in conversation, like what’s the context? Do they not wipe either?
It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.
Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.
I sleep naked. My sheets would be so very rank.
Sounds like he enjoyed the way it felt and that scared him.
Have you actually seen this? Like, do you have a first hand account?
I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and “gay”. I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that’s good enough until my next shower.
One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that’s your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
It’s extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.
If I wanted to read reddit, I wouldn’t be on kbin. And I was asking if they, specifically, had a first hand account.
An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used
Washing your ass isn’t contaminating the shower, that’s almost as bizarre as thinking using tp makes you gay.
Washing your ass under the shower doesn’t “contaminate” it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It’s everywhere, even on your toothbrush.
Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is “gay” and “feminine”
Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn’t gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it’s the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.Lmao literally “fellas, is it gay to love a woman?”
Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to “No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!” were very common.
Even if you take the “gay argument” out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?
Obligatory Steve Hughes bit
I’m so glad someone linked it as it’s the first thing I thought of
Hehhe It’s so great
Hella gay. You need to engage in naked Greco Roman wrestling with another man to wash that gay off.
To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They’re girly, weak and smell nice.
Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who’s just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you, because you’re a manly man who’s made of tougher stuff.
Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay
enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you,
Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?
You’re not a true man until you sand it up.
Not if it’s 5W30 Valvoline.
Sarah Silverman had a bit about how heterosexual love is… Kinda gay, by toxic masculinity standards.
Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I’ve seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn’t like that she was “telling him what to do.” They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.
Bankruptcy is so alpha male
Was an old car salesman tactic to basically tell guys they weren’t man enough to risk something they could barely afford.
I heard a motorcycle salesman tell a customer to call his wife and ask if he could have his balls back for a couple of hours so he’d be able to make a decision on his own.
Yep, that’s what I’m talking about.
So funny how poorly this would go for me. I’d just tell the guy he’s being a dingus and go to a neighboring town’s dealer in hopes of finding someone less douchey.
Salesmen are pretty good at judging what works with which people. It’s still really douchey and manipulative though.
My last car purchase involved something like this but without the misogyny. I knew exactly what I wanted, for how much, and had my own external financing. The dude loudly sighed on the test drive multiple times after trying to build a rapport unsuccessfully. I was perfectly courteous to him, but I wasn’t giving in to his sales pitch one inch.
Sorry guy, I view you as the cashier at Walmart and not my buddy who’s gonna get me a killer deal on undercoating.
Still is. Attach emotion to a sales pitch and if the buyer is dumb enough to play into it, you’ll sell every time.
One word.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
“Oh you want to talk to your wife before making the second largest purchase of your life? Who wears the pants in your relationship?”
That’s how the salesman guy got Homer to buy the Mister Plow truck lol
The dangers of telling your man what to do!
Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they’re issuing out bed linens. We’re all thrilled because we’re getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because “they have flowers on them”, then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.
He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.
The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.
I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.
Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I’m guessing this isn’t the same.
My bad, I didn’t realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)
What do they call those where you’re from?
To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you’re describing (we call that a “crib” in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.
In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven’t ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.
Surely there is a name for it in Brittain since their soldiers probably use something similar.
Probably, but I’m not/don’t interact often with soldiers, so I don’t know
I guess what’s called a ‘crib’ in the UK is what we’d call a ‘bassinet’ in the US?
Sometimes called a “camp bed” but I’ve heard cot in the US
it’s like a glorified stretcher
I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was “not manly”.
Which makes that quite literal Toxic Masculinity.
I worked one summer at the same factory as my dad. One day I was operating a cutting machine and my dad came by because I wasn’t wearing any safety equipment. He suggested (not told) to wear the gear but I refused because no one else uses it. He said thats fine, it’s my choice but he suggested I walk around the factory floor and count how many workers had all their fingers. I put on the safety equipment. Later on while having lunch with the two other guys in our area I noticed both were missing fingers.
I worked for less than a week at a cedar shake and shingles mill: it takes trees and cuts them into fat shingles.
I was promoted when the guy above me put the pneumatic splitter through his hand.
The guy above my new position near-missed with a band saw: it bit into his arm but only about a millimeter.
On day three a cut saw operator lost the last joint of three fingers.
I told the foreman I was leaving. He nodded in understanding.
I actually, um…may not have any of the guards on my table saw for months now.
You do use a riving knife still though…right?
Yep, that’s still on there. No reason to remove that.
How many fingers have you lost in that time?
I’ve never had any major injuries.
If you’re careful you may never need the protection a seat belt provides. It’s still foolish and risky to go without it. Table saw guards, etc. are the same.
Yeah absolutely. It has to come off occasionally because some things just won’t fit with the guards. But leaving it off is stupid.
“Why are you in palliative?”
“Silicosis.”
“Brah, that is so fkn chad!”
Well Chad is like the second worst men’s name, so checks out.
It’s up there with Kyle
And Todd.
Shame, one of my favourite workplace proximity associates is called Kyle.
Theyre not going to feel very manly after the silicosis kicks in
they’ll walk it off
/s
These are typically the big right wingers who later in life live in a constant state of rage because they’re crippled or disabled and blame the government or immigrants for the fact that they live on a $1200/mo disability check, can’t work, and have nothing to their name. At least that’s my personal experience.
The worst I have heard was when my husband’s old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn’t even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.
He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.
We live in Australia too, so it’s not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.
I’m American and the last two lines killed me 😂
How unsupportive. My dad at least took an hour off to drive mum to the hospital.
When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn’t let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?
He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.
Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe… I can’t reach my own back.
He was also too chickenshit to do that.
You should have suggested you put sunscreen on each other’s backs at the same time to get it over with quicker.
Good idea. Squirt some sunscreen on one back, then rub balls together until you’re both covered.
Edit: I meant backs, not balls, but I’m leaving it.
One point awarded to autocorrect.
The OG reach around
Back to back. Back to back.
Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they’re so tuff and manly and they “just won’t crash”.
I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.
This is my 4-year old’s logic.
Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!
Him: But I am not falling! Look!
Me: 🤦♂️ No, not yet, but you might!
Him: But I’m not!
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤌🤌
Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I’ve ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they’re living out some early 2000’s Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.
One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would’ve otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it’s not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.
Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked “why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls” and I’ll never forget how they responded with “why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?”
Your friends sound like proper douchebags too btw.
TIL there’s a proper way to be a douchebag.
I wasn’t trying to define grades of douchebagness, but to tell you that your friends come off just as bad as their counterparts in your little anecdote. Since you seem to think your friends had a cool rebuttal, i suspect you’re a douche too.
I never implied that, I just didn’t know what you meant by a “proper” douchebag. Excuse me for having non-native-English skills.
Yep that’s the dumbest thing. I’ve gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn’t wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.
Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider’s comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it’s manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?
I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I’d have put that thing on ASAP.
Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that’s totally apart from the safety issue.)
deleted by creator
I can’t see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun
Vega?
For me it’s between refusing to use an umbrella because “it’s gay” or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.
TIL: being a top is NOT gay 🥳
You joke, but going back to the ancient greeks that traditionally wasn’t seen as ‘gay’ or feminine, no. A top is dominant, therefore more masculine. A bottom is submissive, therefore feminine.
Still a thing to this day.
I’ll be honest, I’m glad I’m older, and less worried about that kind of shit and can just be me.
I think the roman had it a bit different : the minion or whore would be active while the guy was laying down. They even had suspended ropes or poles so the sex slave could use it to properly do its job.
I don’t remember what was bad for them, except for big penis being very shameful because too beasty.
I find roman and Greek very funny, because although they were extremely misogynistic, they had it all reversed compared to us. :D
Yeah, like they thought the Gauls were effeminate because Gaulish men… wore trousers and drank too much.
A good portion of Hispanics believe this. The gay one is the bottom one.
Huh, like in ancient Rome. Nothing wrong with banging boys, but utterly shameful to be on the receiving end.
"Muh
anal penetrationgaysex is the only straightsex
I’m alright with not holding an umbrella but I’d want a raincoat or something to keep me dry still.
But “fellas, is it gay to be dry?”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DmTgpsvkqt8 obligatory Bill Burr.
Sitting in the middle seat of a work truck can get a little gay if you’re driving a manual and need to shift into 2nd or 4th. Joking aside, I would probably use any excuse not to sit there because it’s incredibly uncomfortable to straddle the transmission hump.
Basic hygiene.
cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)
He only “cleans” himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore… and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.
Is the twice a year an exaggeration, or does he actually only shower every six months…?
Sadly, no exageration.
And yes, the smell is even worse than you can imagine.
Had the misfortune of entering his bedroom one day and his sheets were black (they were originally beige…), and stiff, and cracked when he sat on them.
Had a dude in my division on a US submarine like this. Stupidly gross. Ended up having a medical order that basically made him shower every day under supervision from our doc to ensure he bathed. Imagine the dude you mentioned but enclosed in a metal tube under the ocean for months at a time.
Shower parties aren’t a thing anymore? In my days scumbags were assisted in their shower by a few larger shipmates and various brushes. It usually only took one to convince them to mind their smell in such cramped quarters.
Post 9/11 there were sweeping changes and a few high visibility hazing incidents that put a hard stop to that kind of bullshit. Not entirely a bad thing but I know what you mean.
“I went to med school for this.”
No, joined the military for it. Could have been back stateside, examining some fat person’s ass or something.
Holy fucking shit. Does he have serious mental illness? I’ve never seen or heard of someone being even remotely like that and not have some form of mental illness. Dude needs some kind of therapy either way, goddamn.
Refusing to do normal human tasks to the point where it interferes with your ability to meet your life goals is sort of definitionally mental illness.
Nope, no mental illness.
Just grew up in a house where it was normalized and unshamed, apparently. Which is why the only thing that can make him “shower” is the doctor visit, under threat of not seeing the doctor/getting refills if he didnt.
Growing up in a house where something unhelpful is normalized is essentially a mental illness. His brain is wired incorrectly for normal social behavior. He could rewire it with a lot of effort and attention. Being unable to do so, or even realize there’s a problem, is part of the illness.
Yeah idc how you spin it bathing 2 times per year and having sheets so dirty they’re black and crack when they move is serious mental illness.
If his home was like that growing up it just means his parents had a mental illness as well.
Yeah, this dude definitely has something wrong with him mentally…
My friend moved early this year to a new apartment and we gave him a very easy to care plant and some decor
When we visited him again about a month later he told us he didn’t put the decor because it’s gay (as in gay to decor, not the specific stuff we gave him) and the plant was dead because he put it in a closet because he brought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍
Edit: fixed lots of mistakes lol, don’t write a comment before drinking coffee
the plant was death because he put it in a closet because he bought in a woman and she could think he was gay so he hid it 👍
Well, what if she mistakenly saw him as a dependable person who could provide care for the most basic of life forms?
That’s fucking gay.
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤌🤌
Apparently English is gay too
I’m willing to bet he writes English better than you write whatever his native language is.
Also most of my mistakes were due to the stupid keyboard lol (and because it was very early in the morning)
I noticed that my keyboard somehow performs worse on Lemmy
I think it’s important to call most of these stories what they are. They’re not toxic masculinity, they’re homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.
Edited for clarity
Who are you responding to?
The thread in general. After reading a bunch of the stories, it occurred to me that they are all homophobic. Men engaging in certain behaviors, or avoiding behaviors and activities to avoid being perceived as gay are homophobic. You make a good point though, I edited my response to make it more clear.
I think it’s very much related. Avoid being percieved as gay could be related to gender as well as the set of stereotypical behaviours that are associated with gays. And it could be both.
being attracted to a man is obviously a feminine trait. and we hate everything feminine, did i tell you i hate the woman i confessed my love to and have been married to for 30 years?
/s
deleted by creator
Yeah well let’s be honest a lot of toxic masculinity traits are deeply rooted in homophobia and sexism…
You’d think someone obsessed with masculinity would realize there’s nothing manlier than two dudes fucking.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
The venn diagram of toxic masculinity and homophobia is pretty much a circle.
Edit: fixing my dumbass phone’s autocorrect.
This one’s specific one but I’ve seen guys permantly fuck up their feet by wearing cheap, thin-soled boots everyday or stand in jeans and a hoodie in -20° F for hours because buying good, quality clothes is seen as feminine.
how do thin-soled boots fuck up your feet?
When your feet are out of shape and you stand around all day, it can put too much stress on the arch of the foot. Or other areas, even up your legs depending on posture, fitness, and what you’re doing with your feet all day. Even just walking a lot can really suck if you have arthritis or simply allow (aka forced via work schedule) your feet to get overworked and on the down side of recovery.
To be fair, it’s not ever the boot doing the fucking. It’s just not helping your feet survive. Even basic arch support goes a looong ways towards staying comfortable for many people.
If the ground is freezing cold they have little to no insulation
i do fine in thin-soled boots in -10°C, just use a wool insole and some socks.
Wearing boots isn’t particularly feminine, is it?
Sounds more like plain old vanity.
Caring about your body apparently is though.
deleted by creator
Walking around a rainbow cross walk . Also just not using a cross walk in general and taking more time trying to cross the road at a random location than just walking slightly down the road to cross the street even though that’s the direction they where walking in the first place .
Fellas, are laws gay?
I’m the opposite… I forget the crosswalk exists, walk down the road 4 minutes, have to cross it and then as I wait I remember
“God damn it there was a crosswalk”
And IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME AGH
You should not have to backtrack nearly ten minutes to get to a crosswalk. That’s just terrible urban design.
Also I don’t know where you are, but in many US States every intersection is a legal crosswalk unless signed otherwise. It just may not be a marked crosswalk.
No no I just straight up skipped the intended crosswalk and went down a long stretch of road where practically no one even lives, to the cross for a bus stop.
The crosswalk is actually perfectly placed (I’m in Germany btw, we call em zebra stripes) and I’m just too idiotic and think only of switching sides once I’m way deep down the road.
So is there not a crosswalk at the bus stop itself? I’m struggling to imagine a bus stop in the middle of literally nothing: there has to be some destination for them to have a stop there, right? If there’s a destination, there should be a crosswalk so you can get to and from the bus regardless of which direction you’re going or coming from. Otherwise what you have is one-way transportation.
It could easily be in a residential or industrial area
See, for me, that’s an aggressive anticar thing, not a masculinity thing.
One time I heard a guy say he wasn’t gonna push a shopping cart cause it was “f***y”. Never understood that. He looked like a real doofus pulling it by the front.
Funny? Funky? Frisky? Feisty? Frosty? What mystery do you hide behind these asterisks?!
My guess would be “faggy”.
Dude couldn’t type it once and you ended up typing it twice. That’s hilarious.
(And yes, I’m a card-carrying gay fag queer homosexual)
We have cards now?
Did you not get on the mailing list?
Yes as soon as someone figures out their sexuality they have to apply for a government ID declaring their sexuality, it’s like a driver’s license but it’s for sex. A sexuality license. That’s where they formally declare their pronouns too.
Like a bundle of sticks! Like a pack of ciggies!
My guess would be “faggy”.
I know, I know, but I really don’t like to use that word even in context. It’s the bad word for gay that also means bundle of sticks… y.
I really thought it was “fruity”. I guess it seems obvious in retrospect. Neither is great but, yeah, that one is worse…
I wish i didn’t know.
My guess would be “agg”
I worked in retail for 8 years and I occasionally pull from the front too out of habit. It gives you more notice with people when approaching aisles. I don’t see the connection to it being more manly though.
