I’m writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole “lying to children about Christmas” thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it’s completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.
Two questions:
What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the “magic of Christmas” at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.
And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a “talk”? Let them figure it out on their own?
I have 3 kids. I’ve never lied to them about Santa. I’ve always told them that the idea behind Xmas was kindness and giving and left it at that, and that the whole Santa thing was just a fun story to play along with, like the tooth fairy or social equality.
Damn, hitting them hard with reality at the end there lol
Then they go tell all their friends lol
When they directly ask you, you tell the truth, doesn’t matter the age. They probably won’t ask until well into elementary school. Here is an interesting Psychology Today article about lying to your kids about Santa. To sum it up, not really harmful. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-nature-deception/201912/should-you-lie-kids-about-santa
I still remember when I asked my mom about Santa, she replied, “It’s what you believe in your heart.”
What the hell? He either exists or he doesn’t. That was the second I stopped believing.
First, prove Santa Claus doesn’t exist and then we can talk about your opinions.
Just don’t play into it. My parents never did the Santa gifts thing from the beginning. All our gifts were from mom, dad, grandma/grandpa, etc.
I never got a “talk” that I can remember about Santa not being real, it just never was a thing.
No magic was lost for me or my siblings. Christmas was still our favorite holiday of the year. Still had tons of fun decorating, making cookies and gingerbread houses, making gift wishlists, going out to get a tree, putting up lights, getting up early Christmas morning to open gifts, etc.
Most magical time of my life personally as a kid during the season, nothing was lost by not believing in Santa bringing me presents.
Emphasize the important things about the season. It’s about generosity, spreading joy to others, celebrating friends and family that we don’t get to see often, etc. Don’t make it consumeristic. I wish my folks had taken me and my sibs to help at some sort of community function around the holidays. Although as we got into our teens, we would do food drives and toys for tots, etc. Which was good.
At what age do you tell boomer parents the truth about Christmas? That their daughter who moved away to the “bIg CiTy” so she could get an “eDuCaTiOn” and pursue a “CaReEr” and “dRiNk LaTtEs” is actually happy there, is not going to come home from Christmas, fall in love with the blue collar boy who never left town, and magically discover the rural housewife life is what she actually wanted all along?
yayyy Hallmark movies
My parents always told me the “truth” about Christmas: it’s Jesus’ birthday, and Santa Claus is a lie from the devil meant to turn you away from God.
I grappled with this question for awhile as a young parent. A thing that I noticed about kids is that they are great at make-believe, and they will get endless enjoyment from things that they made up themselves.
So I gave them presents “from Santa”, I filled stockings on Christmas Eve, etc., and we all knew we were playing the Christmas game together. I don’t think there was any lack in wonder or enjoyment.
I also made sure that they knew that some folks take it really seriously and believe Santa is real and everything, and that’s really none of your business so just play along and don’t ruin it for them.
Omg they told you that Santa was a lie from the devil? It always fascinates me when people of Christian faiths don’t know that Santa is Saint Nicholas, the early Christian bishop. I’m glad you found your way to make Christmas fun for your kids!
By truth do you mean that Santa doesn’t exist, that the whole Christmas celebration is an adaptation of Roman pagan traditions, or that Jesus never existed?
Jesus probably did exist, but he probably didn’t commit miracles.
Source?
Exactly. There is about as much proof of Jesus of Nazareth existing as there is of King Arthur existing.
Saying “he probably did exist” is like saying “my dog probably speaks English to his fellow dogs.” It is meaningless without objective evidence.
People tend to say “he probably did exist” simply to hedge their bet or to not go against the grain of the mainstream belief system. I, for one, have been provided no objective evidence (by claimants such as religionists) of the existence of such a person and therefore I have no reason to accept the mainstream belief of his existence.
Agreed. People don’t take into account the fact that historians have existed for a long time and probably would have noticed a person as revolutionary as the one mentioned in the gospels - miracles or not. The Romans were excellent record keepers, and that is how we know for a fact - for example - that Herod’s timeline does not jibe with the virgin birth myth, nor did the Roman survey methodology jibe with the Bethleham journey myth, to cite two examples among so many others
Santa doesn’t exist? Why am I just now finding this out?
You stole the words right out of my mouth. Thanks for saving me the time to type that comment.
Don’t lie to your children about someone sneaking into the house at night while everyone is asleep, it’s fucking weird.
It’s weird from an adult’s perspective but it’s magical for a kid, and seeing the excitement build and the idea of actual magic contributing to a really family centric event is like proper magic for a parent too.
I spent a long time growing up thinking that I would never do that to my kids, but I think it’s actually crueler not to do it now. You’re taking away an experience most children share and get excited by together for no real reason.
My children are 3.5 and 9months and I haven’t decided when I’d let the older one know but it’s certainly a few years away at least. I’m hoping that one day she comes and asks me herself how real it is because she’s pieced together how impossible some aspects are, but I really have no idea how naively optimistic I’m being. I guess what’s more likely is she comes home from school upset one day because another kid told her, and then I’ll have to explain it and get her on board to keep the magic alive for her little brother.
- It’s not a stranger. Santa was a fairytale part of our family.
- He left presents with the permission and collaboration of my parents. So he wasn’t sneaking in without first consulting with them. No different to the comings and goings of my parents other friends and family. Theoretically they could have told him I was naughty, and not let him in.
- If it’s a real issue, for some weird reason, have him “post” the presents.
- kids cotton on fast, but it is a fun game, no different to waking from your nap and finding out your grandfather flew in from overseas when you were sleeping.
Much like sex, drugs and Rock and Roll, let them find out about it on the playground like the rest of us did…
@WashedOver @Clymene cant stress just how much I disagree here if you’re serious
Parental teaching, while not perfect, is the way to go to atleast lay some groundwork for thigs like sex ed before you step out into world
By the time you reach the playground, its too late and you can easily be taken advantage of
Anyone else, apart from parents, have ulterior motives
The sooner you can tell your kids God’s not real, the better. Just make sure you tell them it’s not their job to explain that to their peers.
Unless you meant Santa. In which case the same applies.
Never, because Santa is the spirit of Christmas, and he is real. As long as someone includes a “from Santa” label on at least one gift, Santa’s been there.
Nowadays, it’s agreed in the family that stockings are from Santa.
Oh, “from Santa”… I must’ve been thanking the wrong guy, but Satan does have a similar name.
Satan gives better candy, and has a cool van.
From the very beginning. It’s much more magical and less creepy.
Let them manage on their own. You don’t have to tell serious lies v. “White lies”.
If they ever ask you direct questions… just ask them what they think? And move on.
IMO: the spirit of Santa exist. That’s all that should matter.
If I had kids I’d just do what every parent I know including my own did and let them find out themselves. I feel like it’s more natural that way.
What truth of Christmas?
That Santa isn’t real is what the op is referring to
WHAT?! If Santa isn’t real then how do those presents get there?? And the cookies! Where do they go??
Oh, sorry about the cookies. I thought leaving the presents as a thanks, for providing snacks while I watched you sleep would be OK.
Your name isn’t Santa…
