I answered my work phone with “Morgans Morgue; you kill’em, we chill’em” once. My coworker did not expect that and cracked up.
I’ve used the same line with different slogan a few times, but that’s the one that worked the best.
I’ve used “Joe’s roadside cafe, you kill em, we grill em” before
Morts Mortuary! You stab 'em! We slab 'em!
Mortuary Grill: where yesterday’s grief is today’s beef! Who can I serve you today?
Nice.
Also works with “crematorium”
One time my dad and I were sitting in the car while my mom and wife were shopping (fabric store, not our jam). They kept calling us and we kept answering, pretending to be our voicemail messages.
I don’t know how we could keep calm while talking, because we were laughing our asses off in between calls, but it worked!
Moshi Moshi
Japanese intensifies
Do it in Germany! “Muschi” means “pussy”.
Every time I call one of my higher ups at work he’ll say something dumb like “Dominos pizza how can I help you” or “This is the product owner help line, no we can’t change your due dates”.
I generally get a chuckle out of it.
Last time he called me his therapist.
Guy I was working with would answer his phone with “Hi, can I speak to *person who was calling* please?”
Was at the house of a relative of a friend. When the phone rang he asked me to answer it. Suddenly realizing I didn’t know the name of the home owner and lacking anything beyond “hello”, I simply said, “Massachusetts.”
Ahoy-hoy!
Hamish and Andy would be proud.
I think I have the wrong number
“Catholic freight depot random city” makes callers pause for a second to think about what they just heard.
“I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty “
mmmmmmYellow
A classic
I sometimes answer with “Come in please” when I know who’s calling. Never stops irritating people lol.
I use jak sie masz. The phrase from Borat which apparently also means how are you in polish.
“You find more, Dziękuję.”
Mulder
“Fluffy’s Intimate Massage and Car Wash, you’re speaking with Fluffy, how can I help?”
