Who does this? The condiments would be gone half way through this way. You gotta get them down the sides.
People with big mouths (like me, I have a big mouth) eat hotdogs in bites that span left to right, and top to bottom along (approximately) a plane that lies perpendicular to the axis along which the hotdog was extruded. With this approach, the condiments merely have to run the length of the hotdog (or just the bun if you dislike messy eating) in order for them to participate in every bite.
Only small mouth dweebs that can’t fit a wide, juicy frank into their mouth when they’re gobbling down a… Nevermind, I think I got sidetracked.
No dawg, you gotta flip it turn-ways.
What do you mean gone halfway through? Are you eating your hot dogs lime a sandwich? You gotta throat that bad boy.
Uh yeah, I do throat it. Top down, like a normal person.
Replace that boring mustard with spicy brown and that’s exactly how I do a dog.
Under? So the first half is just plain dog?
Are you eating your dogs sideways? Every bite has mustard on it.
I’m eating them top down like everyone else. So if you don’t get condiments along the side of the dog, they’re gone after the first few bites.
You’re supposed to eat them from the bottom up. That’s how monkeys do it in the wild, so obviously it’s how we evolved to eat hotdogs.
Sometimes aesthetics trump evolution
Under. So the mustard is less likely to glop onto your shirt
I’m confused. If I put mustard on a hotdog it looks exactly like that.
(Aside from that bland yellow, I use real mustard)
So you like eating all the mustard right away, and then having the second half be plain?
How the fuck you eating your hotdog?
The fuck?
what the fuck
I have a new pet peev
Ohh you eat it like a sub? 😅
I only do that if I’m lazy and use sandwich bread for a roll.
Im sorry, people eat subs differently than hot dogs? Fucking excuse me?
No, I eat a sub from the side. Otherwise you’d just be eating bread, then fillings, then bread separately.
That’s the precise reason that you eat a hotndog the same way.
Who tf out here is putting bread around their hotdogs??
What do you do? Slide them straight down your gullet and eat the bread separate like Kobayashi?
Excuse me, FridaySteve, but I sit on them like a proper gentleman.
I admire the direct approach.
Seems like it would save everyone some time
Ok, so you got a glizzy between your cheeks and then what. Wait for it to hatch?
No, I put Wendy’s training video “Hot Drinks” on repeat, laydown some towels, and wake up grandpa. Seriously, how do you even barbeque?
I don’t. I barbequeue.
Good God, my apologies!
you’re supposed to eat a hotdog end to end, you weirdo
I mean, yeah, you eat both ends. From the top down, though.
What do you mean “gone half way through”?
It’s simply there, and then it isn’t. There is no intermediary state.
owenfromcanada eats hot dogs the short way.
Fitting the entire width in your mouth at once must be a challenge, but I’ll accept it.
When you eat as fast as I do, everything is eaten the short way
You should try Schrodinger’s mustard. You haven’t had a proper hotdog until you top it with a superposition.
I don’t have time to observe the hotdog before it’s gone, anyways, so I always at least have mustard on my hotdog, even if I also don’t have mustard on my hotdog.
Try that but with proper mustard https://tracklementsglobal.com/us/product/strong-english-mustard/
You put it on top so that the flavor of the condiments doesn’t overpower each bite.
If you put it on top, condiments is all you’d taste for the first few bites, then it would just be a plain dog the rest of the way. Why would anyone do that?
How are you getting plain dog after first few bites? I’m picturing you eating a hot dog like corn on the cob
Top down, like everyone else. How do you eat them?
You deep throat that thing like God intended.
Those aren’t mutually exclusive
Sgt chowdown doesn’t appreciate this post.
Dishonorable discharge for Sgt Chowchow
No no no, wrong guy, Sgt ChowChow is entrusted with US Nuclear facility codes under admiral Hugh Mann. Now those are names you can trust.
I don’t trust the admiral. I think he’s gunning for my job.
this dude eating hotdogs like corn on the cob?
Absolutely cursed image. I’m dying.
Cause those dogs were bred for show.
Yeah hi I make hotdogs as a job, instructions say all sauces on top. You want it changed, go fight corporate.
Fine, fine, I’ll fight them. We using gloves or bare knuckles?
If it’s corporate, use brass knuckles!
Sock 'Em Boppers!
I use mustard on the bun first, like glue for the weiner. (2nd grade level giggle) Then i pile on the onions, relish, or whatever on top
I slather the crease in relish, then tuck diced tomatoes/onion/lettuce (eg) into the relish, then dog, then presentation mustard.
relish from the grocery store has gotten so cheaply made you have to strain it first. even, and especially, the mass market ‘name brands’. i did run across one super off-brand, imported from turkey or india or something, that was great, though… and like half the store brand price.
so unless i have that or strain the ‘regular’ stuff first, or just cut-up some pickles instead (what i’ve been doing more of lately), the relish goes on top. everything else goes on first.
The Heinz relish aint so bad… i use it and its ok. I miss the Coney Island deli we used to have here 20 years ago… its become a laundry now.
Onions and mustard? You must be an antifa terrorist!
So the first half is all the good stuff, and the second half is just mustard?
Wait. Are you eating hot dogs parallel to the dog or perpendicular?
I’m not sure what your frame of reference is, but I eat them top down like everyone else. Do you… not?
The appeal of the hotdog is the convenient mouth-sized cross section.
What? Whose mouth is that big?
Ice Bear apparently
Polar Bear has the right idea.
Fair point.
OP is the type of guy who takes a shit and stands up to wipe his ass.
I actually do this now because wiping my ass on the toilet gave me a herniated disc. The standing up is way more forgiving to the spine.
We are the 25%
Sir this is not a Wendy’s
