Many of us have heard the deprecating characterizations of many countries. Like Putin described the UK as an “insignificant little Island”, and Russia has been characterized as a “mob run gas station” or Trump calling El Salvador, Haiti and African countries as “shithole countries”.
Let’s flip things around for a bit of fun. After a heavy night of drinking with your country’s head of tourism, you have one shot to give your best self-depricating characterization of your country for a new border sign.
I’ll go first:
Welcome to Canada - Enjoy world class sexual assault in sport – Come and play!
Welcome To The Divided States of America - Come for the rape, stay for the pedophilia.
“Good luck finding us on a map” - our own citizens.
Because spices were too expensive, were discovered an enrite new route to reach the source, while at the same time settling colonies and strongholds everywhere we set foot. We owned half the planet at same point, then we let it all crumble. Nobody knows who or where we are and we often confused of being part of another country. Which we lovingly hate.
Everyone thinks we’re mean with money, but we give more to charity per head than the rest of the UK. People also say we drink too much… Yeah, that’s probably true.
welcome to orbanistan, recently renamed for our new glorious leader! we’re the perfect hangout spot for commies for that raw soviet vibe, because we sure as hell haven’t progressed since. indulge yourself in a thousand intricate flavours of hate, walk the depressed streets of our only city, or simply enjoy our currency making you feel like a millionaire just for being able to afford to visit.
Duitchland but small and with cheese
Love cheese.
Small patch of unnaturally flat earth filled to the brim with a mix of moody, always busy, direct to your face, cheese farm descendants turned bureaucrats, drug-den youngsters, aging white boomers that own every piece of real-estate and immigrants from EVERY corner of the planet, all 18 million of whom are perpetually unfulfilled in life even though they’re supposedly ranked 7th in world’s best list. - “Happy” Holland
Lazy and rent-seeking. Go figure.
I tried, but it came out more bitter than self-deprecating
Thanks for trying.
Welcome to America: get the fuck out, immigrant scum
All Men are created equal, well not you, or you, or you over there, and definitely not her.
All men are created equal*
^* terms and conditions may apply^
You win.
Would you like to supersize that description for only a dollar more?
We all think it’s the greatest country in the world.
Also… we never actually learned the names of any other countries in school, so it’s kinda impossible to name any alternatives.
Do USians really not learn the names of any other countries or is this Kazakhstan and you’re Borat?
Oh man, where to start - America
Turkey managed to convert a secularist revolution into a religious dictatorship.
Closed for repairs until Jan 2028.
God Bless America. …someday.
Welcome to ?: Closed for repairs until Jan 2028.
Almost certainly the US.
