The clarity for about ten seconds after puking is peak.
Bruh clearly isn’t shitting hard enough
many years ago a person I knew was using their phone while throwing up, they also happened to be on acid at the same time and they drank wayyy too much fruit punch.
They had been attempting to get to the bathroom while looking at their phone.
It was black and white checkered floor. I wasn’t on acid, so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this. This was a reddish brown vomit, looked like a murder scene.
That’s why the neuralink is coming. Think of all the unrealized ad revenue when we’re doing things like sleeping, or puking, or fucking OP’s mom.
vomits so hard I blow a blood vessel in my eye
banner ad rolls into the bottom of my vision and the voice of my mother fills my ears
“Pepto Bismol! 2 for $10! Buy NOW for SAME DAY SHIPPING! Blink twice to BUY NOW!”
“please stop, I’m just hungover”
a different banner ad rolls into the top of my vision and the voice of Sam Elliot rumbles into my ears
“How about a bit of the hair of the dog then cowboy. Buy 2 Fifths of whiskey and get a third for free. Buy now and it’ll arrive right when you get off of work.”
vomits again
Your mom says hi, by the way.
I’ll be taking my phone with me the next time I need to puke.
There is no god! Lol
So . . . Literal shit post.
I don’t feel blessed
With the vomit
In my chest
I feel like coughing
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
Vomit coffin
The moment after puking and the moment after waking up is the same thought: is it over yet?
Don’t blame phones for ruining shitting. Before phones, we had shampoo labels to read.
And magazines. Books. Remember how people used to keep books by the toilet and I was always thinking. Ewwwww
Who does that?
but if a friend hands me their phone to show me something I never worry if the last time they went to the bathroom they were holding it.
This is stupid.
I was reading airfreshener ingredient labels before cell phones were even invented.
Saw this while shitting
If I puke while shitting do I become a god?
You get the “leaking from both ends” achievement.
You become a gargoile
Welcome to norovirus.
It is quite cathartic
The great sage Han-Tyumi
So… Ayahuasca?
