My guess: A lot of “Perverted” men think they are perverted because all the girls they’ve talked to so far have gone “eeeew” when they mention anything like a blowjob.
They have then concluded that they must be perverted for wanting to try such depravities.
my guess: for men, even little things such as seeing boobs (especially in real life) is “taboo”/exciting. so their idea of “perverted” is pretty tame.
That’s kinda the same no? For the most part, the taboo is not one that the individual has created, it’s a societal thing. The same society that creates women that are grossed out by the mention of a blowjob creates the man who freaks out when he sees a boob.
Seeing nice boobs in real life is exciting. Whether it’s taboo is another matter. On the beach when someone’s sunbathing, no, if I were to see them in the middle of the supermarket while grocery shopping, I’d say that was taboo 😂
I’m left wondering what your idea of perverted is…🤔
We can also see this in the pop culture, like the perverts in cartoons (i talk for japanese ones, since they are what i watch more often) are usually rappresented as the ones that get excited over a pair of boobs, a bit of skin etc etc
Yes, anything sexual is perverted in that culture it seems
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Also the dudes who say " i’m can fuck all day, everyday!!", then they meet a woman who can actually fuck all day. They will be looking like the Creepshow ghoul by weeks end.
Women: can get off 7-10 times in a row
Men: busts once, needs an hour and a Gatorade before they can go again
The REAL fun is when you force orgasms on her until she’s begging you to stop.
Well, you gotta build up some jet fuel to cum again. If you were to mpreg them with some pegging you’d see recharge times quickly rise as they reabsorbed the cum for fuel
My bad, it’s my fault for having eyes to read this
Bro took bro science to a whole new level.
afaik it is allowed to use other appendages
Right? I had a friend quote “I only got so many mini mes swimming in me” and I was like dude, sex isn’t over just because peepee go limp.
That’s not what that’s about. This is very explicitly about sperm
Women get quite sore down there if done poorly and even with a great foreplay and plenty of lube, it’ll still get sore.
While i could go again in an hour, once she stops? It’s GG.
The right amount of various amphetamines though…
Better invest in quality lube.
Guy probably would not need the gatorade if the woman was Amazon riding him or something, and doing all the actual physical work of fucking.
Gal would then probably need the gatorade.
Yeah, men have a refractory period, women essentially do not, can’t really fundamentally change that, though guys can do kegels and such to last longer/maintain erection/do their own orgasm control.
Guys also can get off 7 to 10 times in a row.
It’d just take longer, due to the refractory period, and would also literally require more physical work.
You ever literally fucked for an entire today?
You both need breaks and gatorade, guy and gal.
When I was young I could go again within a couple minutes… After 30 it was pretty rare… Then in late 40s started having trouble keeping it up for a one time thing, but I figured it was psychological because my then wife didn’t want it (from me) anymore anyway… Then when that ended I took care of things, got a vasectomy and medication that lets me go multiple rounds again, at least in theory… Haven’t gotten to test out the theory yet, other than in my own hands…
Me: has fingers
There’s an entire meme category about it
Matching freaks is hard.
Kink is a spectrum, and I haven’t been exploring it for a few years, but from what I remember, the various communities of kink are always mismatched.
There are always more straight-sub-men than there are straight-dom-women. This compounds when you realize that usually those sub men are looking for certain types of play that the doms aren’t into. Dommy mommies and such.
Like, I think of the feminization community. It’s hard to find people who like feminization, but DON’T also like cuck play, or race-cuck play, which to me is gross but is a major aspect of that community for many.
Non-binary and Lesbians seemed to do okay though. At least in my city.
As a straight dom male, I can tell you that the inverse is also true. Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse. I blame the 50 shades of grey series at least in part for that.
For sure. All of my friends in the community HATE 50 Shades of Grey
This unfortunately, too real. It’s really unfortunate that it’s gotten bad for both genders,
And I’m a straight dom male, I’m very chill but, a lot of women into things that make me nope out
Yeah, as a lesbian sub I’ve noticed one big problem facing straight male subs is a lot of dominant women interested in men get burnt out of the community by bad experiences pretty quickly.
I think it’s partly that yeah ime a lot of dominant straight women are looking for someone masculine, competent, and submissive, while the men tend to be looking more for degradation and caretaking, and neither group seems to be great at finding compromise, and the men often don’t notice what the women are looking for.
But also, bad subs abound. And it’s not just men. I used to switch, but bad experience not related drove me away from it, and around the time I was considering dominance again a submissive woman violated my boundaries to the point IDK if I’ll ever be comfortable domming again. I’ve watched other women have similar experiences with one friend have a string of male subs make her decide to look for submissive men in the non kink scene.
And yeah, what I’ve seen of the feminization types is a real mix of yikes and eggs. Even if I were into men, domming, and feminization I’d be hesitant to get into that can of worms.
What’s a bad sub or dom if I may ask
Be spesific
Being specific is hard because it’s just a category of being a bad partner, and as such there’s plenty of ways to do it lol.
I’ll start by giving a quick overview on how to be a good kink partner: respect boundaries and know your own, communicate and listen, build skills appropriate for your role and interests (you can learn more by talking to people into that interest in the community, especially in the other role, and learning both sides even if you only want to do one is encouraged), know what you want and don’t want, but be open to what you’re not sure about, and in general just try to see everyone in the community as full people, not just as [role]. And for that last one, I really can’t emphasize enough how much better you come off if you have friends across roles and genders, but also the people you’re compatible with are just people, don’t put them into their role until you’ve discussed it and agreed to it.
A lot of the worst experiences involve people who have personality disorders that aren’t sufficiently dealt with for relationships to be a good idea. All of the really bad subs I was thinking of in my comment had borderline personality disorder and had not undergone dbt. They were all also kinda looking for a partner to fix them. But also the domme that got pushed away had bpd, but had underwent years of treatment and had developed healthy habits and understanding of her limits.
So for some specific bad behaviors. Boundary pushing is big. If someone says no or gives an excuse, that means no unless clearly negotiated with a safeword to replace the no. Attempting to negotiate someone’s boundaries or to guilt them into something they’re not interested in is very bad. Overdependance on someone is bad, especially when they don’t agree to it. Your dominant (or submissive) isn’t your therapist they’re somewhere between romantic partner and fuckbuddy, and you should know where you stand (if you don’t know, talk about it with them).
Now for just general bad form things, they’re more akin to being a bad lay. Dominants being overconfident and doing things they aren’t skilled enough to do without giving a heads up (plenty of experienced subs will agree to be a practice dummy to someone they trust, but it’s often not cool to try something the first time without saying so). Subs that come in with a checklist of things they expect from a scene rather than presenting a menu of options and limits and letting the dom construct a scene out of it. Related are the subs who can’t let go of control in a scene after asserting that that’s what they want (if you say it’s what you want but you’re unsure you’re able that’s a different story). The inverse also sucks, subs who don’t know what they’re interested in or what their limits are (and “no limits” is neither true nor appreciated). Subs who neither have skills nor interest in building them. People who jump right into roles without talking about it.
In general new people are given a lot of grace and so long as it’s not overt consent violations the worst a new person will need to do is apologize when corrected and try to do better.
Yup, gotta say that it took a few years after being a pro with men that I felt any urge to domme … and now I’m looking for a compatible fem sub I’m not keeping my hopes up
Oof yeah from what I’ve seen pros typically get really jaded, and that tends to either screw with their desire to dom or get them weird about it. Which like makes perfect sense from everything I’ve seen and heard.
And yesh finding a compatible partner can be very difficult. I lucked out and on my first date with my wife told her that part of what I wanted from life was lifestyle power exchange and she’d never even realized that was what she wanted.
But yeah in addition to compatibility issues, I’ve noticed over the years that a lot of subs are just awful at selling themselves to dommes.
You really lucked out there!
It’s funny, I tried to explain to my wife on our first date and she totally didn’t understand the concept of BDSM … to her it was something baddies did on TV.
Yet we settled into lifestyle D/s everywhere apart from the bedroom, lol
I agree with most of the comments and sentiments in this thread. Being a male switch I’ve seen all sides of things and the bad actors abound regardless of declared genders.
The big line between pleasure subs and service doms is a large one. Getting bound up and teased and used is a far cry from being someone’s table or maid.
Media definitely sets a lot of bad expectations but occasionally one strikes gold and the magic makes you not give up.
I am a guy who is a genuine switch.
I’ve only ever met a single genuine female switch, and she was literally a diagnosed nymphomaniac.
I’ve met other guy switches, uncommon but not too uncommon… never ever met another female switch.
Swear to flying spaghetti monster its a curse, its the type O- of sexual styles.
queers are kinky in more based ways usually :3
life goals: queer kinky polycule
a self proclaimed kinky guy told me that me rimming him is “too much” for him. wdym too much that’s super basic😵💫
Next step: Grab the strap-on.
I would be okay with the strap-on but not with rimming. As another reply says, some people just don’t like the butt-mouth combination. I’m one of them.
I mean as a woman, I’ll gladly be beaten, I play with electricity and fire, and I’ve been in the leather community and power exchange scene most of my adult life, but rimming will take some convincing
Really?
OK then, let me convince you - after a previous bad experience I just stick to the outside, where it’s easy to check everythings clean. You can even make cleaning the area part of the play.
If you tie down your sub with their backside in the air, and reduce their senses with a blindfold, hood, or whatever, it can be a very very intense sensation for them. Plus, it can be a surprise, especially if mixed in with more harsh forms of play. I’ve never bothered with consent for rimming just on the outside, assuming they’ve consented to traditional s/m activities.
Ok yeah if someone wanted to do that to me I might give it a shot. But yeah I wouldn’t be happy if she did it to me without a heads up
Ah ok, I assumed your objection would be for giving rather than receiving … typically “I don’t do butt stuff” crops up in conversation before you tie someone up, and that I would respect
Like, yeah I’m definitely not giving it, that’s not up for debate though. Receiving is where there’s room to discuss.
And it’s not like I’ve never done butt stuff, it’s just that I’ve learned to accept that I just generally prefer to stick to the other side. Especially now that I’m getting older and dealing with hemorrhoids. These days I feel butts are for hitting, grabbing, and displaying handkerchiefs.
“These days I feel butts are for hitting, grabbing, and displaying handkerchiefs.”
Still plenty of repertoire there, then!
As for hemorrhoids, between them and other issues from overuse, I ended up having surgery … can’t do internal butt stuff now, but at least I’ll get to old age with normal function. I miss it sometimes, but I guess that’s part of surviving far longer than anyone expected!
Haha hilarious that your responses confirmed your thesis sadly. Eating ass is default in 26 y’all.
I think this has nothing to do with someone’s gender. I would consider myself a perverted woman. I am at a lot of kinky events (probably once or twice a week). I saw a lot of stuff that is too extreme for me but on the other hand a lot of things I do is too extreme for others. So it’s a huge thing based on perspective. But what I noticed so far is that men have a lot of kinks that are unrealistic to pull of. I met someone who was into the thought of me shrinking him down and swallow him. I encountered almost every kink imaginable so far and I would say woman and man are equally as perverted.
I think maybe your results are skewed by your sample group. I’m unsurprised that you find very pervy men at your Sunday night Pervert Socials. What are the average, non-meeting-attending pervs cranking their hogs to? Probably high heels and fishnets and thinking they’re depraved animals.
Not my experience, with the guys willing to hire a pro for general “kinky” stuff many didn’t want more than spanking and stern words … and that’s after they got over the psychological hurdles of actually talking to someone and confirming they had cash.
IME lots of boys like the idea, but have a low tolerance for loss of control, and no confidence that even if worked up gently they would actually enjoy being pushed.
Hey I just wanna eat pussy in a maid crossdress.
Maybe get pegged and called cute.
Not much to it.
Hi there :-)
Wait what this wasn’t supposed to work I didn’t think this far 😵💫
So you’re now a flustered naughty little boy in a dress?
Such fun >:-)
H… Hwaaa!? I’m not… f-flustered… naughty little boy… I’m a good girl… I’m not little!.. I’m… cute! Y-yea! Y-Y-yes, mistresses.
Good girl.
Now, get on your knees.
And that, kids, is how I met your mother
lol
Edit: don’t worry, you’re safe - I’m on another continent ;-)
Dust off that maid’s outfit, Bonje!
That’s fucking disgusting.
…only degenerates want to be called “cute”.
Hey cutie 😉
You make me sick!!
…thank you, I needed the compliment.
ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
This is so much more common among normal straight men than women realize. That said this is a pretty rare kink for straight women.
The patriarchy ruins errything for us cute booty men with muscles.
no joke i used to be one of those dudes that thought i could keep going and never get tired until i met a woman one day that wore my ass out i think i was asleep for like 14 hours lmao shit was fucking wild
Entirely anecodotal but:
Nearly every woman I’ve met/dated/etc that’s described themself as a pervert or a freak or extremely kinky, that’s a significant element of their personality?
They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.
Conversely, not all, but far far more of the ones that do not describe themselves as that?
They are actually quite often the most active and creative and willing to try new things, actually reciprocate effort in the bedroom.
Absolutely no clue if this is any kind of representative sample, but it is my experience.
The literal only exception to at least the first half of this was the actually diagnosed nymphomaniac, who was, other than that, a rather meek and reserved person, 95% of the time.
Also I guess for the record, I don’t consider myself ‘perverted’, just sex positive and I guess kinkier than your average
beartwink.They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.
I encountered a woman once that talked about how freaky she was in bed, in a way that openly encouraged investigation.
Investigation commenced.
Turns out her idea of bein freaky was Doggy Style.
Yeah. Yep. Basically that is what I’m talking about.
Yeah, I’m sharing my own personal anecdote backing up your statement.
Sorry, tone is somewhat difficult to convey via text sometimes… I am basically trying to sigh in acknowledgement/agreement with you, lol.
Figured as much, was just making sure my position was clear. Have a good one :D
Likewise!
A great case of those who think they are something only do so because they don’t realize how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Dunning Kruger of personality traits is very real.
Are you in the kink community? The girls i meet there are anything but vanilla.
No.
To the best of my knowledge there just isn’t one, in or near my current location, pretty solidly red, conservative area, and back when I was in a bluer area… well frankly back then I didn’t have any need to specifically join a community to try and find people interested in sex.
And/or if said community involves making something approximating a Facebook account, ahahaha fuck no, no I actually value Palantir and the NSA not knowing exactly who I’m fucking and precisely how.
A fetlife account is pretty much as anonymous as a Lemmy account. You might look up your area there and see what you can find. Living in a red area doesnt mean there aren’t kinky people. There ase plenty of right wing kinksters out there.
Well I’d prefer to avoid the right wing kinksters, but… fine. Fine, maybe the time has come to finally make a fetlife account… grumble grumble
From what I’ve been able to gather browsing through the not Craiglist personals in my area… most of it seems to be ~45 yo married couples looking for a black unicorn to cuck the husband, or single dudes looking for a transwoman.
Definitely not beating the stereotypes for a pretty solid red area…
It’s the laziness that’s the worst. Someone not putting any effort in is insulting.
This isn’t limited to sexual preferences, though. That’s just…peacocking, bragging because they want you to like them. People who like something for clout are often excessive in their bragging about it. The people who actually like a thing, sexual or otherwise, tend to integrate it and just enjoy that thing for themselves.
Unless you’re autistic, then everyone gets to know about it. But that’s noticeable too.
The difference is between saying, “I’m a freak in bed,” and “Let me tell you about this one super-niche part of the rope-play community and how it’s actually more of an art form than anything sexual.”
Well see thats the thing.
I am autistic.
Autistic people tend to only info dump when its either a very low stakes, close to anonymous environment… or, when they actually really really trust or admire someone. In the latter case, the infodumping itself is a sign that they basically like you, are comfortable with you.
To me, normies that peacock most or all of their personality… they just think their masks are themselves. They seem to barely even be aware of what they are doing.
Whats actually happening is that really, only the mask actually exists.
Theres not very much underneath, beyond basically the mindset of an immature child/teenager.
And that kind of a person, frankly, is so mentally childlike, that at least to me, I can’t be turned on by or sexually attracted to that… they’re just a child in an adult body. They have too little self awareness and self understanding for me to view them as a responsible adult capable of giving informed consent.
I get you.
The day you realize that you’re more than your mask can be earth-shattering. I still remember mine, and it took me another decade to start learning who I was behind it.
It’s like someone waking up from the matrix and you can’t date someone who’s still plugged in.
Depends on, some are extremely kinky/horny, some are just literal pickmes trying to better market themselves to what they think they will like. I knew one such pickme, se converted to fundamentalist christianity within a year.
Yeah, there does seem to a dynamic like that at play… a bunch of people just say shit about themselves, that they think will make other people like them.
It would be nice if people were actually self aware and honest, with both themselves and others, but apparently that isn’t the meta.
That being said… converting to fundamentalist Christianity?
That’s some legit insanity right there, either that or a person who is deeply insecure and needs validation/meaning imposed on them.
TL;DR: She at one point thought if she were a trad wife, she wouldn’t have to work. Then I disassociated myself from her, so I don’t know where she stood next.
Ah, excellent motivation and reasoning for reconfiguring your entire personality and life.
You dodged that bullet like an Agent in the Matrix, fuck.
They’re talking about their harry potter fanfics
Each time this meme is posted I look into comments to search for proofs of those “perverted” woman. Yet to see one. “Uh, I do rimming, that is sooo kinky”. Your “kinks” so uncommon that you can find them in top 10 tags on rule34, focking adorable.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe
My first date was to Folsom street fair and I lived in a sex dungeon for two years. There aren’t names for the things that get me off. I was asked, after the best orgasm of my life, ‘was that sex?’. I once made a state legislator who lived in San Francisco turn pale at an event.
But no, women aren’t kinky just because we don’t talk about it where men can hear because you’re all fucking obnoxious and the dumber ones still want to bang you people.
Edit: I’m not claiming to be the kinkiest person alive, just that everyone I’ve ever met kinkier than me used she or they pronouns.
If your kind has more then 100 entries on e621 you ain’t depraved enough!
What if I drew them all myself?
To be fair and to not look absolutely deranged: I do understand that it’s not a competition.
If you like vanilla or popular stuff — good for you, no kink shaming. It’s just that I’m a perverted male and I’m not scared by hypothetical “perverted woman”, cause I yet to see one that outkink me (albeit, in answers to my initial comment there some potential one, I’ll admit).
So meme kinda doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work for me. That the whole point.
Polite cough.
I mean if they bulk at rimming I doubt they’re going to be excited to chase me through the woods 🙄
Hey, kink is fun as hell. The whole societal shame bullshit around anything related to sex outside of the context of procreation is fucking dumb, and I’ve more or less fully rejected that mindset at this point. We are humans; humans were designed to feel good when smashing; hence, we like to smash. And exploring fun aspects and dynamics in that context is exciting and delightful.
Remember: “tradition” is just peer pressure from dead people.
This is why kink is celebrated at Pride, society makes people feel shame for the things they enjoy and that’s bullshit.
When you are German and they read you the ORIGINAL Grim tales at bedtime, you know what’s up sooner than you’d wish.
I’m pretty sure the grimm tales are the sanitized stories. They’re written versions of oral tradition.
I heard that as well. Some say that the “fancy city folks” as which the Grimm brothers were perceived got an already watered down version of the real thing.
Compared to American adaptations such as Cinderella, the written Grimm version is the wild one, though.
The grimms are pretty sanitised, who read the version where the prince raped sleeping beauty?
Stolen! :D
I dated a girl once who said she was into kinky shit and i thought pfft yeah yeah - she wanted to cut my dick while it was hard and suck the blood mixed with precum 😐
So, finish the story. Did you let her?
Only once, and i really didnt like it. Turns out im not into having my dick lightly sliced with a razor blade
lightly
OH, that’s far better than I expected.
I’ve seen a gore video where a man rubber-banded his dick and had someone else fully cut it off.
Also one who did it himself with hot blade.
But somehow it still made me less uncomfortable than the dude who stuck a couple of needles through his balls.Quick, I need eye bleach right now
Thanks sir
A fellow victim of watching the pain-olympics I see
Nullo culture exists
Good god, that’s way too extreme
Lol yeah she was pretty intense, but all my crazy sex stories come from her (was with her for 4 years). She even shat on me once lol after her i only dated vanilla girls
I’m not perverted, I just want to tie you up, suspend you in the air, and have my way with you
I’m not perverted, I just want to be tied up, suspended up in the air, and let you have your way with me
@lost_faith match made in heaven?
If anyone wants to test this theory I’m willing to do my part. And if I don’t succeed I’m willing to try try try again
Let’s say it like that. There are a lot more penis shaped things that are safe to put inside you than there are safe holes to put your penis in.
