• potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.worldEnglish
    61·
    4 hours ago

    Yeeeep. I’ve dated enough to realize how vanilla I am, hooooly shit. And I’m OKAY WITH IT. Ladies need Jesus for real.

    😳😳😳

  • slut@lemmy.world
    13·
    5 hours ago

    no joke i used to be one of those dudes that thought i could keep going and never get tired until i met a woman one day that wore my ass out i think i was asleep for like 14 hours lmao shit was fucking wild

  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    13·
    4 hours ago

    Entirely anecodotal but:

    Nearly every woman I’ve met/dated/etc that’s described themself as a pervert or a freak or extremely kinky, that’s a significant element of their personality?

    They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.

    Conversely, not all, but far far more of the ones that do not describe themselves as that?

    They are actually quite often the most active and creative and willing to try new things, actually reciprocate effort in the bedroom.

    Absolutely no clue if this is any kind of representative sample, but it is my experience.

    The literal only exception to at least the first half of this was the actually diagnosed nymphomaniac, who was, other than that, a rather meek and reserved person, 95% of the time.

    Also I guess for the record, I don’t consider myself ‘perverted’, just sex positive and I guess kinkier than your average bear twink.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
        3·
        3 hours ago

        No.

        To the best of my knowledge there just isn’t one, in or near my current location, pretty solidly red, conservative area, and back when I was in a bluer area… well frankly back then I didn’t have any need to specifically join a community to try and find people interested in sex.

        And/or if said community involves making something approximating a Facebook account, ahahaha fuck no, no I actually value Palantir and the NSA not knowing exactly who I’m fucking and precisely how.

        • AngryRobot@lemmy.world
          2·
          2 hours ago

          A fetlife account is pretty much as anonymous as a Lemmy account. You might look up your area there and see what you can find. Living in a red area doesnt mean there aren’t kinky people. There ase plenty of right wing kinksters out there.

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      6 hours ago

      They’re the absolute most boring, plain and lazy in the bedroom, and they also tend to have fairly to extremely serious mental/personality disorders/problems.

      I encountered a woman once that talked about how freaky she was in bed, in a way that openly encouraged investigation.

      Investigation commenced.

      Turns out her idea of bein freaky was Doggy Style.

  • Jarix@lemmy.world
    10·
    8 hours ago

    If anyone wants to test this theory I’m willing to do my part. And if I don’t succeed I’m willing to try try try again

  • De Lancre@lemmy.world
    17·
    10 hours ago

    Each time this meme is posted I look into comments to search for proofs of those “perverted” woman. Yet to see one. “Uh, I do rimming, that is sooo kinky”. Your “kinks” so uncommon that you can find them in top 10 tags on rule34, focking adorable.

    I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe

    • ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      12·
      7 hours ago

      My first date was to Folsom street fair and I lived in a sex dungeon for two years. There aren’t names for the things that get me off. I was asked, after the best orgasm of my life, ‘was that sex?’. I once made a state legislator who lived in San Francisco turn pale at an event.

      But no, women aren’t kinky just because we don’t talk about it where men can hear because you’re all fucking obnoxious and the dumber ones still want to bang you people.

      Edit: I’m not claiming to be the kinkiest person alive, just that everyone I’ve ever met kinkier than me used she or they pronouns.

  • AngryRobot@lemmy.world
    23·
    3 hours ago

    I used to be fairly well known on kink.com’s theupperfloor.com. One day during a live show, I, ade a particularly e il suggestion to do to the girls, and one of the Doms looked at the camera and said [myName], I like you! I want you to come visit! Then he sent me a DM and said he was serious and asked me to stick around after thr show,and we’d work oit details. I visited a month later and attended a party tjat was also a live show. Flogged several of the girls there, my girlfriend at the time and I also played there.

    Later, I went to a kinky hiuse party and a woman came over to me and asked me to flog her with the big elk hide flogger I was showing off (That I happened to buy on that trip to San Francisco.) I ended up beating her ass and tits that night too. Then 18 months later, I married her.

  • LoafedBurrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    331·
    12 hours ago

    Also the dudes who say " i’m can fuck all day, everyday!!", then they meet a woman who can actually fuck all day. They will be looking like the Creepshow ghoul by weeks end.

  • lost_faith@lemmy.ca
    16·
    13 hours ago

    I’m not perverted, I just want to tie you up, suspend you in the air, and have my way with you

  • you_are_dust@lemmy.world
    6·
    11 hours ago

    More than happy to meet perverted women. We can like different things without running away though. I am pretty vanilla but I support whoever being as kinky as you want.

  • StarryPhoenix97@lemmy.world
    30·
    15 hours ago

    Matching freaks is hard.

    Kink is a spectrum, and I haven’t been exploring it for a few years, but from what I remember, the various communities of kink are always mismatched.

    There are always more straight-sub-men than there are straight-dom-women. This compounds when you realize that usually those sub men are looking for certain types of play that the doms aren’t into. Dommy mommies and such.

    Like, I think of the feminization community. It’s hard to find people who like feminization, but DON’T also like cuck play, or race-cuck play, which to me is gross but is a major aspect of that community for many.

    Non-binary and Lesbians seemed to do okay though. At least in my city.

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      4·
      6 hours ago

      I am a guy who is a genuine switch.

      I’ve only ever met a single genuine female switch, and she was literally a diagnosed nymphomaniac.

      I’ve met other guy switches, uncommon but not too uncommon… never ever met another female switch.

      Swear to flying spaghetti monster its a curse, its the type O- of sexual styles.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      11·
      13 hours ago

      Yeah, as a lesbian sub I’ve noticed one big problem facing straight male subs is a lot of dominant women interested in men get burnt out of the community by bad experiences pretty quickly.

      I think it’s partly that yeah ime a lot of dominant straight women are looking for someone masculine, competent, and submissive, while the men tend to be looking more for degradation and caretaking, and neither group seems to be great at finding compromise, and the men often don’t notice what the women are looking for.

      But also, bad subs abound. And it’s not just men. I used to switch, but bad experience not related drove me away from it, and around the time I was considering dominance again a submissive woman violated my boundaries to the point IDK if I’ll ever be comfortable domming again. I’ve watched other women have similar experiences with one friend have a string of male subs make her decide to look for submissive men in the non kink scene.

      And yeah, what I’ve seen of the feminization types is a real mix of yikes and eggs. Even if I were into men, domming, and feminization I’d be hesitant to get into that can of worms.

      • sharkweek@sopuli.xyz
        1·
        1 hour ago

        Yup, gotta say that it took a few years after being a pro with men that I felt any urge to domme … and now I’m looking for a compatible fem sub I’m not keeping my hopes up

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          7·
          11 hours ago

          Being specific is hard because it’s just a category of being a bad partner, and as such there’s plenty of ways to do it lol.

          I’ll start by giving a quick overview on how to be a good kink partner: respect boundaries and know your own, communicate and listen, build skills appropriate for your role and interests (you can learn more by talking to people into that interest in the community, especially in the other role, and learning both sides even if you only want to do one is encouraged), know what you want and don’t want, but be open to what you’re not sure about, and in general just try to see everyone in the community as full people, not just as [role]. And for that last one, I really can’t emphasize enough how much better you come off if you have friends across roles and genders, but also the people you’re compatible with are just people, don’t put them into their role until you’ve discussed it and agreed to it.

          A lot of the worst experiences involve people who have personality disorders that aren’t sufficiently dealt with for relationships to be a good idea. All of the really bad subs I was thinking of in my comment had borderline personality disorder and had not undergone dbt. They were all also kinda looking for a partner to fix them. But also the domme that got pushed away had bpd, but had underwent years of treatment and had developed healthy habits and understanding of her limits.

          So for some specific bad behaviors. Boundary pushing is big. If someone says no or gives an excuse, that means no unless clearly negotiated with a safeword to replace the no. Attempting to negotiate someone’s boundaries or to guilt them into something they’re not interested in is very bad. Overdependance on someone is bad, especially when they don’t agree to it. Your dominant (or submissive) isn’t your therapist they’re somewhere between romantic partner and fuckbuddy, and you should know where you stand (if you don’t know, talk about it with them).

          Now for just general bad form things, they’re more akin to being a bad lay. Dominants being overconfident and doing things they aren’t skilled enough to do without giving a heads up (plenty of experienced subs will agree to be a practice dummy to someone they trust, but it’s often not cool to try something the first time without saying so). Subs that come in with a checklist of things they expect from a scene rather than presenting a menu of options and limits and letting the dom construct a scene out of it. Related are the subs who can’t let go of control in a scene after asserting that that’s what they want (if you say it’s what you want but you’re unsure you’re able that’s a different story). The inverse also sucks, subs who don’t know what they’re interested in or what their limits are (and “no limits” is neither true nor appreciated). Subs who neither have skills nor interest in building them. People who jump right into roles without talking about it.

          In general new people are given a lot of grace and so long as it’s not overt consent violations the worst a new person will need to do is apologize when corrected and try to do better.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
      17·
      15 hours ago

      As a straight dom male, I can tell you that the inverse is also true. Straight sub women routinely want me to do stuff that isn’t BDSM and is actual abuse. I blame the 50 shades of grey series at least in part for that.

      • FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works
        2·
        10 hours ago

        This unfortunately, too real. It’s really unfortunate that it’s gotten bad for both genders,

        And I’m a straight dom male, I’m very chill but, a lot of women into things that make me nope out

    • KuroiKaze@lemmy.world
      7·
      12 hours ago

      I agree with most of the comments and sentiments in this thread. Being a male switch I’ve seen all sides of things and the bad actors abound regardless of declared genders.

      The big line between pleasure subs and service doms is a large one. Getting bound up and teased and used is a far cry from being someone’s table or maid.

      Media definitely sets a lot of bad expectations but occasionally one strikes gold and the magic makes you not give up.

  • Tynan@lemmy.mlEnglish
    134·
    13 hours ago

    I feel like a lot of straight men, self-proclaimed perverted or otherwise, fetishize virginity and a general lack of their partner having their own experiences, and a perverted woman runs rather contrary to that. It’s a lot of patriarchal power expectations.

    • Donkter@lemmy.world
      8·
      9 hours ago

      Reading this thread I think the conclusion is that both men and women can consider themselves “perverted” but the bounds of what each consider “too extreme” is so different that they both think that the other side is just too kinky/disgusting.

      Edit: or maybe I mean the other way around. People saying “yeah I’m kinky” and someone else going “eh, that’s nothing”. Two people both thinking two different things are extreme and then learning that mutually, both their extremes are considered tame by the other person.

      • Blurntout@lemmy.ca
        3·
        9 hours ago

        There’s a point here somewhere about people never truly being on the same page with anyone outside themselves lol

        Especially since kinks are typically explored in private and therefore not peer reviewed by our society lol draws crazy person kink explanation yarn board

    • orioler25@lemmy.world
      102·
      10 hours ago

      Yeah exactly, memes like this suggest that women’s sexual fantasies are inherently more depraved because they appeal to their own tastes instead of to men’s.

    • Omgpwnies@lemmy.worldEnglish
      21·
      9 hours ago

      Given the amount of hate a certain purple-coloured-username person gets around here, this statement is quite accurate.

  • Bonje@lemmy.world
    22·
    17 hours ago

    Hey I just wanna eat pussy in a maid crossdress.

    Maybe get pegged and called cute.

    Not much to it.

  • zxqwas@lemmy.world
    533·
    20 hours ago

    My guess: A lot of “Perverted” men think they are perverted because all the girls they’ve talked to so far have gone “eeeew” when they mention anything like a blowjob.

    They have then concluded that they must be perverted for wanting to try such depravities.

    • did_you_find_violets@lemmy.worldOP
      291·
      20 hours ago

      my guess: for men, even little things such as seeing boobs (especially in real life) is “taboo”/exciting. so their idea of “perverted” is pretty tame.

      • Axolotl@feddit.it
        1·
        10 hours ago

        We can also see this in the pop culture, like the perverts in cartoons (i talk for japanese ones, since they are what i watch more often) are usually rappresented as the ones that get excited over a pair of boobs, a bit of skin etc etc

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
        15·
        20 hours ago

        That’s kinda the same no? For the most part, the taboo is not one that the individual has created, it’s a societal thing. The same society that creates women that are grossed out by the mention of a blowjob creates the man who freaks out when he sees a boob.

  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    232·
    19 hours ago

    Hey, kink is fun as hell. The whole societal shame bullshit around anything related to sex outside of the context of procreation is fucking dumb, and I’ve more or less fully rejected that mindset at this point. We are humans; humans were designed to feel good when smashing; hence, we like to smash. And exploring fun aspects and dynamics in that context is exciting and delightful.

    Remember: “tradition” is just peer pressure from dead people.

    • YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world
      1·
      5 hours ago

      This is why kink is celebrated at Pride, society makes people feel shame for the things they enjoy and that’s bullshit.

  • OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world
    16·
    18 hours ago

    I dated a girl once who said she was into kinky shit and i thought pfft yeah yeah - she wanted to cut my dick while it was hard and suck the blood mixed with precum 😐