Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I mean, talk about complicity via fear.
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I
My day job is Union. Everyone’s rates are well-published. We have less boring things to talk about.
Might be true for non-union gigs, but from my experience in union shops nobody cares because everyone can see what the pay rates are. Same with retirement plans.
I feel like anyone who isn’t heavily involved in left wing internet spaces understands why you don’t want to discuss pay with coworkers.
Someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making less, and will think they are less skilled, or maybe a pushover.
Or someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making more, and will fear their coworkers think they were manipulative in order to get it, think they are egotistical for sharing, or may become envious.
And then pay discrepencies invite unwanted feelings about “do I actually deserve to make more than him - I don’t think I’m worth it” or “I make so much less rhan her, I must suck at my job.”
Not discussing pay is a convenient way to sweep all this under the rug
That benefits bosses and deprives workers from knowing how much their labor is worth.
That’s my point. Unless you are an online leftist, you probably aren’t constantly analyzing the world in terms of bosses exploiting their workers. You are far more concerned about your social standing among your peers.
Sort of? I’m a team lead (middle management) so I have a vested interest in seeing my team is paid as high as possible. As part of goal planning we have frank discussions of certifications, training AND salary. That includes discussing where I’m at and what it took to get there. Its pushed folks who otherwise would be content with what the company gives them and gives them a roadmap to move up.
Wow you’re the exact opposite of my experience of middle management! Which is: never discuss salary, don’t encourage certification or training, do not explain how you got there, do not give employees a roadmap, just pile on the work and stoke fear.
Sounds like par for the course in the US. 🤌🏼
I remember being a kid and hearing about a family member’s workplace instituting a rule against discussing pay after some people got upset they were making less than their coworkers and started advocating for higher pay.
Neither I nor anyone in my immediate family was a leftist, but it seemed really obvious the primary reason for the rule was that management didn’t want people to have reasons to demand higher pay.
True!
Socrates would say, and I would agree, that by following the rule we have already agreed to it.
Chomsky would disagree with manufacturing consent.
Chomsky thinks that the west shouldn’t send aid to Unkraine to fight Putin’s fascist Russia. Noam can go punch sand
Chomsky is the reason we have LLMs.
I mean if you follow under threat you haven’t consented to any meaningful degree.
Pretty hard to put threat of force behind an unspoken rule.
I mean just ask people who have been socially rejected/ isolated for breaking those rules. There’s definitely a threat
There is a wiiiiide stretch of sky between “do this or I’ll hurt you” and “I don’t want to be around someone who acts unsocialized”.
No one alive today agreed to Daylight Saving Time.
It has been introduced in my country during the early 80s, so I have to disagree on that one.
That’s just about 40 years ago, so pretty sure there are still people left who agreed to it.Yeah, I was over-simplifying to make my statement more dramatic and semi-funny, because so many people hate the clock-switching.
It’s complicated. DST is mostly observed in North America, Europe, and part of Australia, and mostly since pre- or during WWII, BUT yes there are a few countries that started later. There are also some original ones that stopped observing it and then started again later. Also, some of the people still alive from when it started would have been too young to be able to agree to it.
So I’ll amend my statement to “The vast majority of people alive today didn’t agree to DST”. Doesn’t have the same punch.
l agree that it’s complicated.
The DST in the early 80s actually was the 3rd time people introduced it here, one of the predecessors of our current state even being the first country to ever use it in its current form during WWI.
In BC Canada we are now on permanent Daylight Savings time woohoo!
Hands clasped behind the back means, “just looking”. Seems pretty universal. People do this in stores all the time.
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This is my typical art museum pose, so I can get close without touching or falling into the paintings
I think it also conveys a signal of “I’m not going to try to touch that” which might put others at ease. It’s also a good “idle pose” that doesn’t convey disinterest like crossed arms or hands in pockets does.
I do it because it relieves pressure on my back
This was always just old man walk to me but I never thought about why old guys all seemed to do it
The elevator one seems pretty universal, but “ope” is regional.
These kinds of social norms aren’t universal.
One that I wish were more universal would be standing on the right when using an escalator, and leaving the left side for walking.
Interesting point! I guess ‘ope’ is my regional bias showing lol. The escalator thing is a great example of a rule that makes life so much more efficient, yet people still ignore it. I wonder why some rules like ‘facing the door’ stick so well, while others like ‘stand on the right’ are a constant struggle. Do you think it’s because one is about comfort and the other is about efficiency?
“Sorry!”
On the contrary, I’d say the elevator thing is only comfortable because it’s a social norm. Unless it’s a subconscious “face the door so you can see if any attackers enter” thing.
The escalator thing is less universal because it’s something that helps other people, and not ourselves. This isn’t valued as much in individualistic societies like the ones in most of North America.
Disagree. First of all, you are in an elevator for a very short time, unlike with public transport for example. You might as well be facing the direction you need to go to, so that when the doors open, you go, instead of having to turn and then go.
Second… I regularly take crowded elevators and while it’s true that almost nobody stands facing back to the door, it’s also true that easily half the people choose to stand sideways, facing the side walls. (Which btw makes someone with a pram or wheelchair easier to get into the elevator). It’s a mix of being ready to go and being able to rest your back against the walls of the elevator more than an unspoken social convention.
Edit: hey well, at least in Australia. Maybe wherever you live everyone faces the door in an elevator.
When you accidentally bump into someone you say “watch where ya walkin’!”
“I’m walkin’ heah!”
“What are ya’, blind?!”
I always wish I was a “hey watch it!” guy but I am forever a “sorry!” guy even when it is clearly NOT my fault. 🤦🏻♀️
‘How are you today?”
“Good, you?”
“Good, thanks.”
Aw hell no. I trauma dump on everyone who asks me “How are you?”
Okay everyone avoid Jenna.
No matter how many times I remind myself that this is performative NT dishonesty, I cannot make myself lie. If you ask a question, you should expect an honest answer. You will never convince me that it’s the “neurotypicals” who aren’t psychologically unwell.
I usually give an “eh I’m doing okay” since that gives a chance if they actually wanted to know what’s up.
“great!”
Order of Adjectives. You do this unconsciously and don’t even know you’re doing it.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/adjectives-order
“The big black house up on the hill.”
Never “The black big up on the hill house.”
1 - opinion - unusual, lovely, beautiful
2 - size - big, small, tall
3 - physical quality - thin, rough, untidy
4 - shape - round, square, rectangular
5 - age - young, old, youthful
6 - colour - blue, red, pink
7 - origin - Dutch, Japanese, Turkish
8 - material - metal, wood, plastic
9 - type - general-purpose, four-sided, U-shaped
10 - purpose - cleaning, hammering, cookingMy favorite one of these unconscious linguistic rules is expletive infixation. We say “fan-fucking-tastic” but “fanta-fucking-stic” sounds completely wrong.
I like the tradition of “bless you!” when someone sneezes, but it is surely not necessary. And why do we say that for sneezing but not coughing?
I was at the urinal the other day and sneezed; someone said bless you from a stall.
It was awkward. Breaking one social norm to uphold another.
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If he doesn’t take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you’re applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding “the one” and starting a family like you’ve always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man’s boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won’t deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say “was it really that hard?” When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you’re in too deep. You’re making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don’t have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be “on” all the time and you haven’t been sleeping well, but you’ve discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.
I say gesundheit as I’m not religious and don’t like to propagate religious sentiment, but I like the idea, too. I’m not German.
Salud is good too
Religious idioms are everywhere in language, and it is seriously not a problem. We can talk about a storm of “biblical” proportions, or say hubris is inviting god’s wrath, or whatever, and none of it is condoning any actual religious belief. Plenty of people celebrate Christmas because they like family and togetherness and indulgent consumerism, even if they don’t consider themselves Christian. And like, one of my favorite explitives is Jesus Fucking Christ.
Just saying gesundheit is, like, fine. But your explaination reminds me of the people who tried to make latinx a thing. Heavy eyeroll
Hispanic non binary people around me have referred to themselves as Latin (la-teen)
Is that also cringe?
No, that makes sense since it is actually pronounceable, and has been created organically by people who are actually experiencing a problem, instead of 14 year olds on Tumblr
I think it’s appropriate to use the phrasing people use for themselves.
I say gelassenheit as I’m not superstitious and don’t like to propagate superstitious sentiment. I’m also not German.
Funnily enough, it is not universally agreed on in German to say “Gesundheit”.
Many don’t do it any more (me included), because it is a comment on an uncontrolled body function and thus pretty intrusive.Exception to this may be people who are really close to you.
I hate this tradition fiercely and I’m glad to have moved to a place where sneezes are generally ignored. As they should be.
I have a friend who says ‘coughs you’ lol
A sneeze was a demon leaving your body - apparently. Way back in the day.
They don’t do that in Vietnam, and I find it odd
I’m not religious and just ignore people that say bless you. It’s entirely disingenuous anyway. No one is aware of what they’re saying, let alone means it. It’s just a thing for them to feel good and nothing to do with the sneezer.
feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone
Found the midwesterner?
Showing respect to or emulating rich people.
Having to sell our labor for a fraction of the profit and being outcast if you want to opt out.
Coupling healthcare to employment.
Forcing the majority of retirement savings to be tied up in the stock market and killing company sponsored pensions.
I miss the days of stopping at a yellow light to let the person turning left go.
I haven’t driven in 4 years, and this has given me road rage on my couch.
“Ope! Lemme just scooootch on by ya!”
Not sure I agree with your appreciation of the elevator. I don’t know where you are (I’ve never heard “ope” either) but at least in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator. I’ll copy my own comment left below to someone else:
…you are in an elevator for a very short time, unlike with public transport for example. You might as well be facing the direction you need to go to, so that when the doors open, you go, instead of having to turn and then go.
Second… I regularly take crowded elevators and while it’s true that almost nobody stands facing back to the door, it’s also true that easily half the people choose to stand sideways, facing the side walls. (Which btw makes someone with a pram or wheelchair easier to get into the elevator). It’s a mix of being ready to go and being able to rest your back against the walls of the elevator more than an unspoken social convention.
in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator.
In NYC it’s illegal not to. It’s a fun law.
Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
I look in the mirror when there is one.
And when i bump into someone i go “SORRY IM SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SORRY AREYOUOKAY”
Like how we all face the door in an elevator
That’s only a movie thing so that the camera can see the actors. People don’t do it in real life (at least not around here).
You face the wall?
The door is a wall too.
Some elevators have doors on opposite sides (e.g. this is common in places with a car park entrance)
When they’re alone or with other people? If I’m alone, I’m facing forward.
