I’m going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.
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Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.
And they’ll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.
Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.
Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.
Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.
Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.
Nobody said your stuff teleports. Just you. Don’t be greedy.
That goes for clothes too. So you arrive nude.
If you have the confidence to pull it off, you’ll get the party started every single time.
It didn’t say that anywhere. Next thing is that the dog doesn’t actually speak Cantonese but only understands it.
His barks are the equivalent of the barks of a actual dog in Cantonese speaking regions.
Speaks Cantonese, but the “dog accent” is so thick that nobody can understand
Only if they knew that’s where I went
Spawn camping
You get a 5 second invulnerability when you spawn though, so just start blastin
get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.
The teleport place is Tirana, Albania. Nobody said the same spot in Tirana, Albania every time. Your real estate investment was rash and very rarely saves you time. But it does increase in value a tiny bit, so eh you’re fine.
still useful for international travel, no need to get a return ticket.
You wouldn’t need a parachute to go skydiving either. Just teleport yourself before you hit the ground.
Unless your momentum doesn’t reset.
Can’t you just keep teleporting till you’re close enough to your home?
Good point. Though it might be taxing on your body?
And teleport back back, right?
… Right?
I didn’t take it that way. It’s still super useful. Bribe their government to not say shit and try to keep a low profile. I don’t know how fucked your passport would look though…
Unless you already live in the Schengen area, then if Albania ever joins the EU as it is talking about doing right now…
Pink, because then you can fold Queen Elizabeth II into a whale giving head
God save… What the fuck?
That whale has million dollar pearl lips
Talking dog, it’s so obviously talking dog
I feel like you could easily just make money off their TV performances… Wait is the dog like as smart as a person? Isn’t going to start demanding that it sign its own contracts and have its own bank account? That could get old fast.
Why are people obsessed with using the dog to get money or women or whatever? It’s a talking fucking dog!! That’s a cool ass pet I wanna chill with my cool talking dog.
I think the conversation wouldn’t be very stimulating and it would get old fast.
“Got any more treats?”
No.
“Wanna touch me a little?”
NO.
“…can I hump your leg a little, at least?”
Nobody would believe it. They’d accuse you of faking it a la Milli Vanilli. You have a talking dog, a literal miracle, and yet people would mock and criticize. Depressed, you’d turn to alcohol. The good shit, sure–that dog made you a little money, after all–but paying more for your poison only makes it drain all of your resources that much faster. You’re a husk of your former self.
But you’ve still got your dog who still loves you unconditionally, against all odds. :)
Having a dog that speaks Cantonese would be a great way to get a girlfriend that speaks both English and Cantonese, and make a shit ton of money as the dog talks to people, and the girlfriend translates.
How do you know she isn’t mistranslating your messages to the dog to make it think she’s on its side? You’ve got an awful lot of trust…
You might not appreciate what they have to say as much as you expect. Let’s just put it that way.
Is this a reference to something I don’t get? Because I dunno how talking dog is some monkeys paw cursed blessing just because it speaks Cantonese. I don’t speak Cantonese, but, like 80 million other people do. So I could learn.
Nobody said it was negative. It simply is what it is. The dog speaks Cantonese. Take it or leave it.
Black. I could do anything far away from Albania, teleport there, have three cctv cameras and 9 guys at a pub confirm was there having a drink with them in the evening the 23rd and could definitely not have been robbing a jewelery store in Copenhagen at the same time.
ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?
i reckon you could make more than $5AUD with a cantonese speaking dog
AND you get a dog
Yea… but then you have a dog.
yyyyyeah
amazing
‘Hey google why does my dog keep calling me Gweilo?’
are kibbles the opium of the modern cantonese speaking dog?
The teleportation is obviously most powerful in terms of exploits
The dog could bring about the most technological advancement
I think Ill go for the eye color change though, because its so uncommon to have different eye colors.
“Albanian Transporter” would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.
Sounds like a perverse sex move to me.
The black pill.
You can just TP to Tirana if you are in a situation that is more dangerous than being in Albania. Which doesn’t happen often but you’d be very glad to have chosen this if something that bad ever happened to you
Like is it a specific place in Tirana? Or a place of your choosing? Or a safe place in Tirana? Or like a category of things (like “hotel lobbies”) and it picks one at random? Or just completely random (unoccupied?) space (at ground level?)?
So many questions. I wouldn’t want to be teleported into the Tirana airspace, or teleported with my current solar velocity.
Username checks out
We’ve had different experiences in Albania, but fair enough. If that’s what you’re into.
Dinner with Luol Deng of course. I don’t know who it is but that pill means I get free dinner every night.
You only get one dinner
And you have to pay for Luol Deng.
Obviously pink.
I don’t see any stipulation that says I can only use my power only once.Can you teleport things with you? If so, use your ability to start a business importing items to Albania with nearly zero shipping costs, then invest in the local community until it’s a really nice city to teleport home to.
So a smuggling ring?
Black could be handy once in a while.
The vagueness gives me pause. You could effectively be a god depending on whether you can choose where and how to teleport within Tirana. Constructing buildings and shipping goods with minimal cost and energy. Renaming other towns to expand your powers. Expanding Albania to do the same. Definitely the highest ceiling
Trekking back every time might get old, but it’s a pretty useful one.
“[do something illegal], disappear to Tirana” can be really lucrative, so I wouldn’t care about my plane ticket spending. Wait until it joins EU, and it will be much easier to do whatever you want (otherwise it will be hard to explain, why you keep leaving the country, never crossing back
It doesn’t mention you can take stuff with you. You might end up in Tirana Terminator-style.
Before I saw that one I was tempted to go for the $5 AUD 😂
5 Dollarydoos!?
