I was worried that lemmy wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

OP doesn’t want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.

In 10 years, people are going to say “I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post”

I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I’m impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

I’ve replied to quite a few people and I’m going to bed now.

I’ll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

I don’t know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous ‘Poop post’ on Lemmy 10 years from now.

deleted by creator

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you’ll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don’t poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it’s release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I’ll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, “Why couldn’t that dude poop!?”

This is one of those threads that’s going go be legendary is it? Like the eating their own foot on early Reddit

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!