depends on the age obviously…but I wouldn’t care. wear protection and be open about things.

If my kid grows up to be half as good looking as his mother and half as lucky as his father, it’s already going to be a perfect storm. The forces at play would far exceed the power of any door.

That seems ridiculous. If my kid wants to have sex they’d just find another way to do it outside of their house.

Ah yes, an open door, the ultimate and unbreakable curse that forbids a teenager for having sex no matter what.

The best thing a parent can do when their kids become sexually active is to buy them condoms. Many unsecure sex at that age is done out of pure embarrassment over going to a place to buy them or having their parents know what they are doing. They are going to have sex regardless, at least do your best so it is safe sex.

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Lmao. “Parents of lemmy…”

Responses: if i ever have kids…

no?! I dont wanna see them have sex wtaf

depends what they were doing in there

It’s an old house, so usually we keep the doors open for ventilation.

If they were making out, I don’t wanna see that, close the door.

Gen X here. My mother (boomer, hippie) would have friends over and they’d smoke, they’d send the friend’s kid up to my room, upstairs and around the corner. Didn’t matter if the door was open or closed, they were in the makeshift den (converted garage) stoned outta their gourds. I had a few girls up, and I remember one flashing me and being nervous about it. Looking back I think she was giving me a hint, somewhere between “I wanna see yours” and “come get this.” But I was a dumb teenage boy and I think I just played on the Nintendo or the computer (had both in my bedroom). But yeah, had a few girls up there, and it didn’t matter if we had the door open or closed, if we wanted to hook up, our parents wouldn’t have known (except my bedroom was directly above the garage, though my mother would also play her records, so maybe they wouldn’t have heard thumping).

Straight guy, but again, I wasn’t really interested in hooking up in those days. And when I say “friend’s kid” I mean boys or girls, as young as 5 or 6 and as old as 16 or 17. I was 13-15 when I lived there. If it was a little kid, I was designated the babysitter and would entertain the kid. I was pretty good at it. Only one or twice was it a girl my age. About half the time it was a boy, and about 3/4 of the time they were way too young — not that I was really into girls, or enough to try to make a move even if they were the right age. They were all, as the guy says in Fight Club about airplane neighbors, “disposable friends.” Or was it “single-use”? So I never made a move on the girls my age; whether they were attractive to me or not, we just played Nintendo or computer games or looked at comic books or something.

Why bother? It never stopped me or anyone I knew from a little hanky panky.

That’s a really good question.

My first two trains of thought would be 1) door open, or 2) no going to your room to be alone with the person you’re attracted to. But at the same time, I remember that it’s going to happen, regardless of what I do or say, and my first concern is that they are safe.

So really, I don’t know what I’d do, and I’m not looking forward to finding out in the foreseeable future (I have a tween now, so my days are numbered).

While I’m not a parent, I know a married couple who told me about giving their teen kids “the talk”, which was about STD protection and an edict to use rubbers.

But, I think you’re asking us to weigh in about your own parents’ choices, and it’s not our place to do that. They get to decide their own comfort zone. It sounds like they are reasonably enlightened and that’s the best you can hope for. It also might be that they don’t want you disengaging too much from the rest of the household when you’re at home, as opposed to trying to be controlling about your sex life.

You asked it two different ways, in the title you asked if they’d need to keep the door open (my answer is ‘no’), but in the body text, you asked if I would allow them to close the door (my answer is ‘yes’).

But, I grew up in the 70s, so people weren’t so uptight then, at least the parents I dealt with weren’t. So, I didn’t have any rules for my son, and, had I had a daughter, I wouldn’t have had any rules for her.

In fact, I’d be happier if they were at home, they’d be safe at home.

I wont cast a judgement one way or another on how to approach this, but just know that it is an incredibly common rule. Every girlfriend I had growing up had this same rule, or even more strict. For one I wasn’t allowed in her bedroom at all when I came over.

It sounds like your parents are perfectly including your identity in their decision. I know from experience that the rule sucks, especially when you aren’t even planning to do anything and just want to hang out in a comfortable space. But it is common, and quite reasonable considering how other parents might approach it.

From what you’ve described it seems their main concern was you not getting pregnant.
As to whether it was the best strategy, depends on their beliefs and what other options you and your boyfriend had.