When the automatisms you acquired during your job are invading your private life.
When i was an intern in a big store, i had to fight against the reflex of storing the shelves during my own shopping sessions.
Checking people over.
Used to be a nurse’s assistant, among other jobs. So I have the unnerving habit of eyeballing everyone I know and asking them questions when they show even a hint of difficulty.
I see something on their arm, I’m likely to be reaching for them before I stop to think to ask permission. Luckily, I don’t do it with strangers because I hate touching or being touched when I don’t know the person, but it gets plenty of eye rolls from the people I do know lol.
Skin check!
Oh, I see you holding your belly, when did you last move your bowels?
Then again, some of them are fine with it.
My buddy, Spider, the last time he had a big party, he showed up the next day, said he went a little crazy, stood up and whipped out his dick. It was abraded, but otherwise intact and with no signs of infection. And yes, before I could stop myself, I was leaning forward and looking closely.
Because it was Spider, he wiggled it at me and said, in a squeaky little voice “hello Mr sasquatch, do you want a kees?”
I love that guy, but I slapped his balls for that one
when did you last move your bowels?
Technically when I walked in to the exam room!
Ooo You’ve got good veins, I could get a huge cannula into that one.
that’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard all day
It disturbs most people unless they are also in healthcare. The other thing is really inappropriate meal conversations.
I creep yall out back staring at it when the needle goes in.
Or if they bodybuild. Big complement in that community.
I love it when the phlebotomist tells me I have nice veins. Makes me feel proud, and I like that it makes their life easier.
I am an English as second language teacher, and sometimes when I’m talking in my first language I say things like “sure” or “great”, and get extremely embarrassed after that.
i worked at starbucks during its heyday in the 90’s and it turned me into an espresso snob thanks to the training they used to put their barista through.
they stopped doing that sometime in the 2000’s and now i’m so bougie that starbucks is beneath my standards. lol
i’m the same way with food; i used to make my own tortillas and now everything store bought is beneath my standards too. lol
in the ’90s*
in the 2000s*
Username checks out
Do you have a press or do you abuela that shit with a carbon steel pan and rolling stick?
I used my hands to flatten them (flour tortillas); I don’t make them anymore due to health reasons.
I work in commercial and institutional building energy efficiency. I notice myself paying way more attention to the infrastructure that normally fades into the background. Stuff like “I wonder how big the transformer for this building is?” or “Ooh, that’s a hefty cooling tower, I wonder how much chilled water they use?”
I do this with stonework. My wife’s started doing it now too. When we first got together, we’d be on vacation and she’d point out what she thought was great stone work. Without being a dick about it I would automatically point out things that are super obvious to me, 15 years in the trade next summer. “That’s a structurally severe crack, that’s an obviously amateur patch, why the fuck that person was let anywhere near a restoration job is beyond me, that’s got another 5 years max until it could potentially fall and kill someone…” Etc etc etc.
Now our vacations tend to be us going from restaurant to attractions or whatever, and stopping along the way to criticise shoddy stone work.
Speaking for the back row without realising it, especially when I’m passionate about the subject.
I still haven’t figured out how to prevent it, people frequently tell me that I start bellowing after a point in my discourse. And that’s on top of having a naturally resonant voice…
My honey ended a phone conversation last night with his cousin with “thank you for your time.” Just running on autopilot.
I have reverse work/life autopilot. I’ve ended work-related voicemails with “love you! Er, uh, that just came out by accident. I mean I am fond of you but…well, crap, just call me back.”
I have been terrified of saying “love you” at the end of a work call. It just seems to be at the top of conversational options when hanging up.
I occasionally check my surroundings (especially when staying at a spot for more than just a couple minutes) for potential ambush and sniper locations.
The funny part about that is that I only served for two years and not once left my home country to even be at risk of combat.
Used to work at a casino as security and while recording employees with coin to fill the machines, we had to sign our name and employee number on literally hundreds of slips per day.
I have signed my employee number on rent checks and even some Christmas and birthday cards without even realizing it.
We also had to clear our hands by showing front and back of hands to the surveillance camera.
I’ve unthinkingly cleared my hands on many occasions while shopping and putting something back on the shelf.
It took me literally years to break those habits and I still occasionally fight to not sign my employee number.
