I’m starting to think that my life is over and I don’t want to live anymore. As of writing this I am a 23 year old woman with no qualifications or education. I have learning disabilities and my IQ is just 76. I struggle with things like talking, maths and spelling and I can’t find a job.

When I was a kid I knew I was different. Things that were easy for the other kids to do took me ages to learn. Kids used to make fun of me because of the way I talked and in general I could fit in. As I got older my learning disabilities become more noticeable. I was diagnosed with ADHD and low intelligence and therefore struggled academically but my dad refused to put me in a special education program because he thought it would be an embarrassment. School was very hard for me. I would work my ass off just to get C’s and B’s and my father was very abusive. He would expect me to do well in school and if I didn’t he would beat and punish me. I had to repeat the 7th and 9th grade but I eventually graduated but very poor grades and no qualifications. When I was around 15-18 started to do drugs like weed and alcohol just to cope.

I left my parents house when I was 19 and went to live with a friend. I have very little money as I’m addicted to drugs and my lack of education makes getting a job practically impossible. I don’t see my life going anywhere and when I’m not on drugs I’m miserable. My brothers and sisters have done so much better then me and it makes me so jealous, angry and ashamed. I know this may sound cringe but I honestly can’t do this anymore.

EDIT: I now have a job at Burger King as a cook. It’s not glamorous but it’s some money.

  • @spittingimage@lemmy.world
    56•6 months ago

    I’m gonna be the cynic and say it - I think what we have here is a scammer hoping people will reach out with donations.

    The account didn’t exist before this post was made. OP has a 76 IQ but uses perfect sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, paragraphs and five-syllable words like qualification. My spidey sense is tingling.

    • CarrotsHaveEars
      13•6 months ago

      I support you on the cynic side. But in case this post is authentic, I hope OP struggles through all difficulties in her life with modern technology like spell-checkers.

      Good luck, OP.

      • mub
        4•6 months ago

        I’m looking for evidence that this post is real. It is too perfect, like the stuff chatgpt produces. But I’m old and very cynical.

        One alternative is her low IQ diagnosis was off. I suggest seeing someone to have that rechecked. If it turned out to be closer to the average 100 it could make her feel more positive about her own potential.

    • I'm_All_NEET:3OPEnglish
      5•6 months ago

      Thank you. I’ve worked on my grammar a lot. I struggle with it. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I’ve misspelled something. A lot of the time I have I commonly misspell things or forget to include words. My speech-to-text thing on my phone helps if it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t be able to write things this well.

      • I'm_All_NEET:3OPEnglish
        8•6 months ago

        When I was that school during my last year and a half my English teacher finally let me use my phone in English. I was able to check spellings and and find words if I was struggling. It helped a lot. As for the donation theory. I didn’t include any payment offer so that wouldn’t work but know that I think of it I wouldn’t be against it. Lol

  • @Analog@lemmy.mlEnglish
    32•6 months ago

    You vastly overestimate the competence of the workforce in general. If you show up on time, work hard, and work to improve over time (don’t expect to be perfect! Just learn from mistakes!) you will be a coveted employee.

    Hopefully this leads to improved feelings of self worth.

    Reminds me of the YouTuber Mat Armstrong w/motto “Hard work beats talent.”

    As others have said, pick a trade. Make bank. Get some friends who value you for you. F everyone else. Not literally lol

    • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
      20•6 months ago

      “You don’t need to be smart, you just need to be useful.”

      I live by this creed everyday and it’s served me well. I don’t count myself as smart, but I do have some skills that others dont and vice versa and that’s enough to get stuff done

    • @emmie@lemmy.ml
      2•6 months ago

      Yeah well good luck with adhd at: work hard, show on time, remember that you have any work at all

      First month is always all cool and nice thanks to inhumane amount of energy but then it catches up with you and you plunge hard

      The more monotonous and routine something is the worse it gets. Same tram every day at same hour? Two weeks max before inevitable disappearance to never appear again.

      It’s like walls are closing on you and anxiety attacks start and you have to run and regain your strength to try anew somewhere else.

      Once it got so bad I almost got paranoidal psychosis because I just felt so bad so to preserve my mental health I had to disappear and barricade for half a year to recoup.

      It’s no fun standing in public and feeling like you are about to die, freaking out about it, freaking out about freaking out about it and that you are crazy, running like mad from the place that gave you this suffocating feeling

      • @Analog@lemmy.mlEnglish
        1•6 months ago

        I dunno if all ADHD is exactly like yours, but I doubt it. Your version sounds pretty hellish, to put it lightly.

        Good info though, thanks for deeming us worthy of your time (not sarcastically) and sharing your experience. Pretty eye opening for us neurotypicals.

      • schmorpEnglish
        1•6 months ago

        Oh wait that’s an ADHD symptom? I’m considering going nomadic atm maybe that makes it bearable.

  • @PullPantsUnsworn@lemmy.mlEnglish
    18•6 months ago

    Your English is perfect. There is no indication of low intelligence from the way you described your issues. B and C grade are pretty average and indicates you can learn with hard work. I think what you might be experiencing is anxiety and that is causing you to think you don’t have skills or intelligence. I am not from US so I don’t know what kind of help might be available for you there, but I would suggest you to look for a job with something you like to do even though the pay might not be great and then eventually your interest will take you further in your career.

    • yeehaw
      10•6 months ago

      Was going to say the same. Where did this IQ test take place anyways?

      Also I had pretty shitty grades all through high school too because probably ADHD and also Jesus Christ 90% of those courses were mind numbing and my mind would be wandering.

      Fast forward, I’m making good money (close to double those in my peer group) and surviving just fine so far. It’s a lot easier for me to focus on things my brain likes to think about.

      To OP, it can be done. Persevere.

  • @octopus_ink@lemmy.mlEnglish
    16•6 months ago

    There’s a lot of good advice here. I have a son not too different in age than you. Your post made me want to give you a long hug. I’m sure you have many things about you that are assets and you haven’t had anyone in your life to help you find them.

    As others have said, you sound smarter than you think you are, and your writing is good!

    Small steps, and celebrate the small victories. Make one little thing better about yourself or your life every day. No matter how small. And be proud of yourself when you’ve done so.

    Go take the good advice from others, but here’s a Dad Hug™.

  • @onlooker@lemmy.ml
    11•6 months ago

    First off, I’m so sorry you had that much pressure put on you in school. Your father should have helped you and instead he needlessly made things harder. One thing you should keep in mind is a saying I see every now and again: “Comparison is the thief of joy”. You’re not your brothers or your sisters and that’s okay! You may have the same parents, but that doesn’t mean you have to be clones.

    Distancing yourself from your abusive father was a good move and I applaud you for that! Parents who don’t accept their own children, especially including their quirks and flaws, don’t deserve them. It sounds like he wants you to be someone else, but tough shit: you’re not them, you’re you. And you have zero obligation to become this perfect person in your dad’s head.

    And to answer your question: yes, there is hope. You got out of a bad situation and it sounds like you’re still recovering. For now, forget math, grades and employment and just focus on getting better. Good grades and a stable job don’t mean jack shit if you’re miserable anyway.

  • @OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
    11•6 months ago

    I read this post yesterday and I went back to find it to write a response.

    First, let me clarity when I give advice, I speak my mind, saying what I would do if I know what I know now but were in your shoes. It isn’t intended to make you feel better, but genuinely a matter of “this is the easiest way to reach my goals”.

    First, let’s address the problems you can fix, and ignore the ones you can’t. You say you’re 76 IQ, but to be honest you wrote a more comprehensive post than most people can. In any case, check out this video by a guy who claims to have 70 IQ and how he holds down a job at McDonalds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDXvXACIEA

    Why a job at McDonalds? For a few reasons:

    1. You already live with your friend. You’re not about to be homeless. This is the best time to start working.
    2. Getting a job means getting experience working. You might not think much of it now, but that’s step 1 to getting a job at a company with a union, or a company that will offer you full time for health insurance
    3. Getting a job will preoccupy your time. You can’t quit drugs and alcohol if you’re not distracting yourself with something else
    4. A new job means meeting new people and learning new things. You might find another path yourself
    5. McDonald’s will let anybody interview and start working. So you can get this job

    Second, you need a long-term plan. This is why I mentioned a full time job with a union: it doesn’t matter if it’s an Amazon Warehouse or a Walmart, a union will look out for your best interests. They will give you a livable future and be the backbone you need for support, since it seems you can’t turn to your family for that.

    Getting a job at a company with a union is harder, but that’s why you do step 1 first. When you have experience and a reputation working, these doors will always be easier to open up.

  • @electric_nan@lemmy.ml
    11•6 months ago

    You write well, and you got B’s and C’s in school. This tells me that you’re smarter than you think, but abuse and/or lack of proper support has had an effect on your development and self esteem (which isn’t surprising). You are still at a very young age, when a lot of people are still trying to find their way. I’m not saying any of this to minimize your struggles, but to give you at least a bit of perspective. A lot can change in a year or two when you’re only 23!

    For specific advice on resources available to you, it would help people to know at least which country you are in.

  • @overload@sopuli.xyz
    9•6 months ago

    Get a trade and make bank. University educated skillsets aren’t as in demand as tradespeople, and I believe that is going to be more true over time.

    Also your training is cheap, paid even, unlike university.

  • @solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    9•6 months ago

    You’ve already got some good advice but in no particular order:

    1. You are much more articulate than a lot of people. You can read and write better than a lot of people.

    2. You’ve been at least emotionally and physically abused

    3. You know how to work hard.

    4. ADHD is somewhat treatable with medication, at least improvable.

    What that translates to:

    1. no it isn’t too late, especially if you keep working hard.

    2. the things you blame yourself for likely isn’t your fault. Therapy, when you can afford it, should be a priority.

    3. working hard is so important for employment. Most jobs don’t require high intelligence. Working hard with a good attitude and working with people is so much more important for most careers.

    4. learning disabilities suck. ADHD is hard. You can still learn coping mechanisms and find ways or a career that fits better with it.

    Life is hard. It’s harder for you than most. It can still be worth living, but it will be up to you to find a way. I think you can.

  • @YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    6•6 months ago

    Have you applied for welfare? You may qualify for food benefits (EBT card that pays for food) and general benefits (actual money). Say you are disabled. They will tell you to apply for Social Security benefits like SSI or SSDI. You can also get Medicaid/Medicare to help pay for healthcare like medicine for ADHD or therapy. This assumes you are in the US.