Littering.
When someone carelessly throws their trash on the ground, that says a huge amount about their respect for other people, their feelings about the environment, and even their views on social equality.
It’s a tiny thing, but an immediate dealbreaker.
People who throw their trash on the ground are the same people who yell and get mad at minimum-wage staff, while those staff hold back tears. They are the people who take more food at a buffet restaurant than they could ever even eat. They are the people who think the world and everyone in it owes them whatever they want, but without ever giving anything back.
I bet we all know a person whose car looks like a scary biohazard of old drive-through cups they haven’t cleaned yet, but I’d much rather date that person than someone who throws it all out the window.
Cigarettes
I just can’t do it. They’re trashy and they smell terrible. Almost universally friends/partners I’ve had the smoke cigarettes ash wherever they want- like my patio or door step. I had an ex that would chain smoke, ash in front of the door, then put the cigarette out and leave it on the steps.
So now everyone that walks by sees our entryway covered in ash, cigarette butts, and burn marks. Just looks and smells like shit.
That same partner kept an ash tray in the patio. It filled up with water when it rained, and she just… left it. So now the patio smells like soppy wet shit too.
Ever since then cigs are a deal breaker for me. If you don’t respect your body how can you ever respect your environment or relationship?
Anyway.
Massive red flag about multiple issues from hygiene to risk-taking to basic scientific literacy to propensity for addictive behavior. The list goes on and on.
100%. I get headaches really easily with the smell of cigarette smoke. Absolute no go from me.
I couldn’t date a cop
That’s just a safety tip
Just the tip.
Something something, fuck the police!
Not like that
In a tight latex police uniform?
My sister in law is a cop when she’s not moonlighting as EMT or Fire. Met my wife Through her as the mutual friend. Her whole family is great.
I just don’t know where this toxic generalization comes from.
Do you actually not know where the generalization comes from, or do you just not like it?
Probably just salty about the tear gas. Maybe they just can’t get over being beaten to near hospitalization with a bicycle for protesting peacefully.
What you want to do is hit back, and read a few headlines. I guarantee you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.
People who downvote EMTs and firefighters have a special place in hell.
People who downvote American cops have a special place in heaven.
Smoking.
Not at all trivial!
For some it is. Sadly
Uses tabs instead of spaces.
But once they go through the compiler they’re essentially the same!
// think people missed the reference
I’m using both a the same time, one tab, two space, another tab…
This way everyone is happy.
You’re a maniac- in the best way possible.
Drinks Tab in Space.
Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.
Mixes spaces and tabs in the same line
That’s not a trivial thing, that’s a war crime
So really any tab user in any language requiring alignment then?
oh gosh how is this the worst one /j
Treats servers badly. Both in restaurants and in IT infrastructure.
That’s not trivial at all!
Incapacity to discuss random topics just for the fun of it. Taking herself too seriously.
I married an Irish/Scottish girl. I should have seen the gorgeous red hair and green eyes and run for the hills, but no.
She’ll debate anything, any time, anywhere. Trump during a commercial? Sure. Abortion over a muffin? Totally. Raisins (scourge or sweet snack?) in an airline security line? All day.
Find yourself a good scot and you’ll converse until you die. Violently.
I don’t see the problem. Sounds like an awesome person
Red hair green eyes and conversable ? You might have unlocked something in me.
Talking abortion over muffin is unironically the most hilarious idea I’ve read today.
Misuse of the oxford comma and bad speling.
Misuse of the oxford comma, and bad speling.
FTFY
Check again. Swipes left.
lmao
How can one misuse the Oxford comma?
Not giving a fuck about it.
Horniness mismatch. You’ll never synch up exactly, but if you aren’t at least in the same ballpark, everyone just comes away frustrated.
that’s not trivial that’s really important
That’s what polamory is for! I would hate to miss out on an emotionally meaningful relationship just because pp goes hard to often or pp not go hard often enough.
Never tried myself, but I’ve two sets of pals that are in poly relationships. The best advice they gave my curious mind on the topic is “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.” I’m still curious about trying some time, but it’s certainly not a “hell yes” for me.
Hmm yes that might be good advice. There is definitely a lot of work to be done on oneself if someone has only been in mono relationships.
If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.
A very common phrase is polyam circles. I’d recommend reading literature by and for polyamorous people if you still find yourself curious, but hesitant. Thorntree Press has a good selection of books to choose from. Also, seek out polyamory groups in your area. There are FB polyamory groups in just about every major city that usually aren’t too hard to search for, and those groups will often have a monthly munch which would afford you the opportunity to ask questions of a variety of people who live that relationship style.
She said “lol”
Like actually said “lol”. As if it was a word.
Didn’t laugh. Like, she replaced her laughing with this, saying “lol” when she found something funny.
Lol
Lol, or el-o-el?
My home theater. I love movies and if someone said I couldn’t have it hooked up to the main TV I’d walk. I’d rather date someone who either enjoys it or at least it’s neutral on having there.
Also I don’t care if they have a garden. But it will be classified as a hobby, not as yard work or house work when they work in it. Because I’ll never work in one.
If it’s something you want and your partner doesn’t care one way or the other about, it shouldn’t factor in.
If you want to make the candles you use around the house, maybe they smell nice, maybe they get used, maybe they’re cheaper than store-bought, but that’s a hobby.
If you do a bunch of baking, especially for people outside the home but even inside it, and your partner isn’t all about you cooking, that’s a hobby, and you clean up your own mess. That’s not chores (unless you’re getting paid).
Chores are necessities to keep the communal house going, not anything that takes effort.
I agree with the basic maintenance thing being a chore, but I understand where OP is coming from. So if one person out of the pair decides with previous warning that they want to plant a bunch of stuff then it’s their responsability to take care of them.
In my situation for example, I live with my partner in an apartment, and the vases are his to maintain and take care of. We’ve talked about where we would live next and my parter wants a yard and I don’t. So I’ve forewarned him that if we have a yard in a future house it belongs to him, and any decisions to move to a house with a yard come with that agreement. This is all very different situation to living in a house with a yard already, or not having the choice when moving for some reason.
Exactly. I fully agree
I don’t expect help in the garden on an everyday basis, no way. I do what I want with it, don’t take requests, so it’s mine and my responsibility. But since everyone gets food out of it, they do help occasionally with bigger things; carrying dirt from front driveway to garden, building planters.
Home theater, who cares? Wouldn’t everyone put that on the biggest TV? We have only one TV but if there were two of course the bigger one would make the most sense.
Oh, on that - TV in the bedroom is a no for me, too. Doesn’t matter for casual, but if I am living somewhere I never want a TV in the bedroom. Music speaker yes, that’s fine. TV no way. Thankfully we’ve had space outside of bedroom for gaming and TV and computer, that is very important to me.
Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.
this is why i like to date people who don’t care about music.
Music is incredibly important to me, and the music tastes of me and my girlfriend could not be much more incompatible. We have a great relationship though, it can be a strength: we challenge each other to broaden our horizons. But it does lead to suboptimal car rides haha
Pointy shoes with high heels.
They destroy your feet, make walking long distances impossible and show me she values unhealthy beauty standards over her own body.
Also, shaved and re-drawn eyebrows, for similar reasons.
Guys, I don’t necessarily agree with what OP said (I didn’t downvote him, though), but why are you downvoting him for freaking answering the question?!! The question says “a trivial thing,” (not “a reasonable thing”) and OP answered with a trivial thing. Vote accordingly.
This is like downvoting unpopular opinions in a thread about unpopular opinions.
They’re probably being downvoted for making a huge leap just from wearing pointy highheels lol. They turned a trivial reason into a non-trivial characterization/flaw about a person.
I don’t know, man. If you dismiss someone for anything trivial, chances are you are judging their whole character to the point of not even dating them.
Here’s a highly upvoted comment:
No passions or hobbies.
No, traveling isn’t a hobby.
It’s really not too different from the high heels one.
Anyway. It is what it is.
Okay, but also, who cares about internet votes? I never vote and I never look at my votes. I don’t understand why people care about this or why it’s even a feature. It doesn’t work, people are clearly stupid about it, why does it exist.
That’s a totally different topic.
I usually gauge internet votes with relevant content. I don’t take them too seriously, though. For more technical questions, it can help.
But of course there’s the occasional hivemind that is irritating - like if someone is asking for help when grieving a lost one, the most upvoted comment is some dark joke meme.
The shoes I get but what’s unhealthy about shaving and redrawing eyebrows? Just curious, if you just don’t like that then that’s valid ofc.
Eyebrows keep the sweat out of your eyes during sports. I want to live an active outdoor life with my partner, if she shaved her brows off chances are she isn’t into that.
