I think I’m on my way to happiness.
I finally left my abusive wife this week. It was really scary, and she keeps sending me threats (to take me for child support and ruin my life) but I was able to get ahold if a crisis center for abused people, thankfully they have support for men. The crisis center is going to help me tackle all the debt she’s put me in and get me into an apartment that will have room for me and my kids!
Yesterday for the first time in 14 years, I was completely free. I just drove around town. I went and got an ice cream cone, and I got a Mexican Pizza from taco bell, and nobody insulted me, put me down, or made me feel worthless. I got a glimpse of me and I really miss that guy. I used to have the nick name smiley because I always walked around with a shit eating grin on my face because I love life and I love my job, but she’s worn away at me lately.
I might be homeless technically, but I have a safe space until I can get on my feet. I get my kids tonight, we’re going to have a pizza party and play Mario Kart together. I think everything is going to be fine soon…
Hugs
I’m doing it!
The crysis center already has an apartment for me. They’re going to pay first months rent and deposit, I can even have my cats with me!
Since I left my wife, I’ve been saving sooooo much money. I know how to cook on a budget, the kids aren’t picky, and I’m not wasting my money on door dash!
It’s gonna be a tough journey, but I can do this!
It sounds like you are already doing this!
Congrats and good luck!
I know you’re a stranger, but I get the keys to the apartment in about an hour!!!
I want to tell everyone, but I have nobody to tell. I’m FINALLY going to have a home to go home to.
Well, this stranger is happy for you! Here’s to a much happier and healthier future.
No. Money is why, and a work situation. Also never ever get married if you have even the slightest red flag about them. It’s not worth it.
I know I’m a generous person at heart but I get so few opportunities to show it because of money. It’s infuriating.
You can be generous with your time and empathy and people will tend to remember it more than money. It’s easy to be generous with money when you have it. It’s not as common to be generous with kindness.
I don’t know your work situation to know if you have time to spare (when others are available) but I hope you have time to at least enjoy your own life. Also, not getting married due to red flags is a good reason to not get married. It sucks to not find your a person for yourself but it’s honestly better than dreading going home.
I work 830-9 pm every weekday and generally 10-4 every weekend. I do my best but I really don’t have much time to be generous either. Thanks for your kind words though. I ended up sick this week when it’s my vacation week so I feel even shittier than usual.
That sounds awful. All of it. I hope your work hours are reduced to reasonable at some point soon, and I hope you don’t need to worry about money when that time comes.
Sadly no and no. I actually just got a third job that might end up helping a lot though. Thank you.
By most people’s standards I’m not living well since I’m a little poor / frugal, but I’m happy. My dream as a teenager was to move to the west coast and start a new life. Well, just after I finished high school my dad kicked me out to use my room to start a new business or something and since I was already homeless, I headed out west. That was years ago and I’m now still living here in California with an apartment I love and a job I don’t hate. Not the wealthiest but beats those 3 months I was homeless and living in scraps. I also no longer have the friends I wanted to move here to live with because they ended up being pieces of shit, but I like my roommates and still have internet friends so I’m happy with life.
Removing all the pieces of shit from your life is a great idea for personal wellbeing. I hope you continue to thrive.
Absolutely not, no. How should this be possible with all the external responsibilities that need to be fulfilled in order to survive in a modern-day society?
Im pretty happy but due to ADHD im never really satisfied with what i have currently in a sense.
I’m very grateful for my job, my current living situation and my partner but im always looking forward to new projects and stuff that i wanna do. I finish one thing and i really like that and then i move onto the next thing cause i feel like i have to. Just cant sit still for too long.
How it happened is i just got lucky. I got a good family that helped me with a place to live, my buddy helped me get my current job in an IT adjacent position, and i met my gf on tinder when she was just about to leave the app for good.
So yea, just kinda got lucky. I do work hard too and struggled alot with ADHD and other mental health issues before getting diagnosed so im glad things worked out eventually.
Depends. I’m homebound due to an accident and illness several years ago and can’t take part in activities or have a social life like I used to while I feel like I’m getting older and missing out on so much.
But then again I’m very fortunate that I have insurance so that I don’t have to worry about economy and I’m pretty good at making the best of my situation and have projects going so I feel I’m moving forward even though in other directions than before and at a highly reduced pace.
So… It could be better. But it could be so much worse. To be honest, I feel way more thankful for what I’ve got than sadness of what I have not.
Ever since I’ve accepted that dystopia is already here, and there’s nothing to avoid it, but we can do everything in our power to create something better. I’m not as afraid, I’m not feeling as powerless as I used to. I’ve learned to seek good council, that helps. Got over wanting to feel or appear important and now rather want to do important work.
How? Got divorced from someone who could not handle their anxiety well, also my child grew up to spend more time with their friends, and so all I was used to disappeared. I had time and opportunity (or was forced) to re-evaluate my life choices - because the unhealthy imbalance in my former relationship mirrored the unsettling imbalance of the world in crisis in some eerie way. It was as if I was shown the workings of abuse and then forced to apply my learning onto the world and my position in it. I went through months of doubt and confusion. With support of my wonderful bf who I met on the way I managed to come out a better and more happy person on the other side, it was a very wild ride.
This or similar seems to have happened to a lot of people recently.
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Understandable.
It’s not a waste of time, you live once, you die forever, once dead, you will have all the time you have lost in life. Anyway, even if this life sucks… it’s the only thing we have to feel, often we fall on depressions but normally people that is able to be online posting here, they are often better than 90% of the people on the world, you probably have food and everything you need, and you can do much more or much less as you please. Bad feelings/depression often blind ourselves, so be happy and motivated even if you are depressed, those bad and good feelings are just like leaves moving by wind, they come and go as they please. Often our depression and lack of happiness is caused by our gens and survival instinct.
Wow, thanks, I’m cured! 🙄
Cured and very funny.
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Nope, just saying other people has less, and they can be as happy as anyone. What I want to say is that most of the depressions is mental, happiness is proven than it’s 45% genetics or like that, I don’t remember now, but the difference between someone happy and someone who gets depressed often are mostly the genetics.
So what I am saying is, there are people that has less than you, and they have fun and are happy.
EDIT:
Telling me I’m not allowed to feel sad etc because others have it worse?
Never said that, but go angry mode. Go. I said we need to deal with our sadness.
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You are just talking like mad, being rude. I never said there is a cure. LMAO I suppose you really have an issue to enjoy your life, I’m sorry…
Biggest thing I did to go from feeling like shit to actually feeling engaged was getting involved with my union. Life is so much more satisfying when you do something that matters, and when the existing union leadership who have been largely useless described me as “trouble” I felt validated lol.
Even if your union is running well they pretty much can always use an extra set of hands, so step up!
I am, but not in its entirety. There are still a lot of things I would like to achieve and a couple of other things in my environment that I dislike quite a bit, but overall I feel satisfied with myself and who I am today; something that a few years ago I couldn’t claim even if it cost me my life.
Absolutely to everything.
It happened because I kept re-evaluating all of my beliefs, changing my mind all the time to include values, principles and beliefs that are conducive to answering yes to these questions.
Also, learning more about the world, especially human behavior and the human psyche.
I have absolutely no attachment to any of my beliefs, any kind of new information gets incorporated into my belief set and changes how I think about things. Depending how impactful and credible the information is, the change is bigger or smaller.
One big belief is that it’s not necessary to have any dreams or goals at all. Or, if I do have one, that it’s completely irrelevant if I reach or don’t reach it. Most people can’t comprehend living like this, it requires a “support cast” of various other beliefs that makes this one possible.
But yeah, to answer “how’d this happen” correctly, I’d have to tell you my whole life story, which I can’t even remember fully, lol
Nope. I did what traumas and society wanted me to. I didn’t start living intentionally until I was 30. I’m making much better decisions, I think, but I’m following through on my commitments because I want to be a person who follows through. That’s even if my prior commitments were made with incomplete information.
A lot, A LOT, of my life decisions were made in fear and anxiety, on incomplete or incorrect information. I know better, now, and am trying to break the cycle for my kids.
Strikes and gutters, ups and downs. This year’s been the drizzling shits, and it’s tough to keep my chin up but I’m getting by.
Hope you’re doing great OP
Yes, living well. Happy mostly. Embodying values and dreams - as much as possible since some dreams would have needed to be started years ago to be realized - like my vineyard and my orchard. Mostly it was reinventing myself every five or seven years to follow the lucre (in software development world look for the bright and shiny new thing).
I was self employed for most of the time, and I can recommend that for those who have a pretty good work ethic. Having a goal in high school was also a key factor, since it led to a useful degree. I was also doing constant internal evaluation - like the feeling where you’re going over your desired job description for a job interview - via a journal or a self help program like “The Red Bucket Strategy”. So, in answer to how did this happen question: it was pretty methodical in using the steering gear you have to make course corrections all the time.
I’m doing great! Honestly I’ve never been happier with the way my life is going and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
