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@perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.works to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish • 2 years ago

I must harness this power

sh.itjust.works

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I must harness this power

sh.itjust.works

@perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.works to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish • 2 years ago
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  • @GCanuck@lemmy.world
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    93•2 years ago

    Muscles weigh more than shit. When you were shitting, you were flexing really hard and built muscle.

    Congrats on the gains.

    • @perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      20•2 years ago

      💪💪💪

      • Jay
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        12•2 years ago

        Congrats, you now have a sphincter that can cut cucumbers!

        • @HurlingDurling@lemm.ee
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          4•2 years ago

          What about a watermelon?

    • @PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world
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      2•2 years ago

      Science. 😎

  • @I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.ml
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    53•2 years ago

    The real answer is that bathroom scales have god awful precision and accuracy.

    • electrorocket
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      14•2 years ago

      They are both imprecise AND inaccurate?

      • Spliffman1
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        2•2 years ago

        He said they have god awful precision, and accuracy… They at least have accuracy, and as someone mentioned they are 2 different things ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • @hesdeadjim@lemmy.world
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      7•2 years ago

      Most digital bathroom scales will repeat your last measurement if it hasn’t changed by more than half a pound. I pick up a 1 lb soap bottle off the counter first, then measure again without it for my weigh in.

      Customers really hate seeing if a scale has a little inaccuracy in back to back measurements, so they all build in this bullshitting.

      • @Mythril@lemm.ee
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        3•2 years ago

        so you’re saying we should invest in an industrial freight shipping scale for maximum accuracy

    • @Knusper@feddit.de
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      7•2 years ago

      I’m short-sighted and on our mechanical scale, I can’t see the thin lines to count out the precise kilos.
      At first, I was bothered by that, but yeah, in addition to natural weight fluctuations, just bouncing a bit on the scale would stop it at different kilos, so eventually I considered it more of a feature that I couldn’t tell precisely.

  • Hyperreality
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    44•2 years ago

    Methane is lighter than air. You deflated your balloon intestines by removing the cork, so the methane and other gases are no longer giving you a modicum of buoyancy.

    • @perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      27•2 years ago

      🫄⬅️ me with 1lb of poop and -1.4lb of methane

    • Spliffman1
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      3•2 years ago

      This accutally sounds scientifically correct

  • @SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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    31•2 years ago

    That’s why you have to be sure to leave a dump and not take a dump.

  • @NevermindNoMind@lemmy.world
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    14•2 years ago

    It’s all the coffee you drank you make that poop a reality.

    • @perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      7•2 years ago

      Only a shower in between. It was a miracle birth

      • Alto
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        17•2 years ago

        Makes sense if you’ve got a lot of hair. Water ain’t exactly light

        • @perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          3•2 years ago

          Dried my hair first for science to isolate variables 🧑‍🔬

        • @BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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          3•
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          2 years ago

          Could be OP is a sheep dog? Or a yeti?

          Or if OP is a furry I suggest not to shower in the costume (or what furries call their suits?)

  • Spliffman1
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    8•2 years ago

    I can confirm this happens. But one trick I learned to lose weight really fast is to remove the battery from the digital scale, reinsert and reweigh. I lost 12 lbs in 20 seconds like that once… I think this method is used a lot in boxing weigh ins too

  • @oogles@lemmy.world
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    7•2 years ago

    Quick, eat an entire pizza by yourself to drop the weight again.

  • BarqsHasBite
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    7•2 years ago

    Shitting antimatter.

  • @recapitated@lemmy.world
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    7•2 years ago

    I’ll bet you put your phone down the first time, and it was in your pocket the second time. Poop weighs incredibly little.

    • @June@lemm.ee
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      6•2 years ago

      I once lost 4 pounds just by pooping.

      • @nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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        3•2 years ago

        how many courics is that?

        • @recapitated@lemmy.world
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          1•2 years ago

          And what was it on the Clydesdale scale?

      • @recapitated@lemmy.world
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        3•2 years ago

        Nice

    • @perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.worksOP
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      4•2 years ago

      No clothes both times and dry hair. The scientific method cannot constrain me

  • @expatriado@lemmy.world
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    6•2 years ago

    this can only be explained if your shit is lighter than air, did it fly away?

  • @018118055@sopuli.xyz
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    5•2 years ago

    Build a hyperdrive with that negative mass exotic matter poop

  • @pH3ra@lemmy.ml
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    5•2 years ago

    The science going on in the comment section is just *chef’s kiss*

    • @Mythril@lemm.ee
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      3•2 years ago

      I learn all my science from meme communities

  • @Vespair@lemm.ee
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    4•2 years ago

    No, don’t be ashamed. 1 out of 3000 Americans is a Reverse-Pooper; it’s time we recognize their struggle

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