I liked OkCupid’s question system, but since that place has become unusable there is no good way of meeting people online without investing considerable effort sifting through discord servers and whatnot. I had high hopes for Matrix, but Matrix turned out to have a fair share of rooms full of really mentally ill people set on evading moderation.

I’m not talking about romantic or sexual dating, that is not the aim. So far I’ve only met one person online who proved to be a consistent friend.

The whole conundrum is so troubling to me that I have started thinking about building a crude matching algorithm and using that for a FLOSS chatting site that doesn’t have pictures, bios, searchable profiles and all that jazz. Just: ‘yes’/‘no’ and 6 pt scale questions. Maybe also a contrast mode to discover radically different people. The biggest obstacle here would be certain legal questions (especially around liability.)

Before I start doing that I want to ask if anyone here knows of a decent site to meet people.

  • distal@lemmy.mlOP
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    21 hours ago

    It’s multi-layered.

    I tried out rooms that were a bit off the beaten path. It seemed like the smaller a room was the more racist and misogynistic the users, sometimes even flat out advocating fascism. I was not dealing with skinheads, these people were too awkward to have the experience necessary to understand why you would not want to be bigoted. We’re talking people with very narrow perspectives.

    Then there was a person who I later found out was a l*li**n whose instance I joined. The tone of discussion there wasn’t terrible, certainly not as bad as the other smaller rooms, but the admin of the instance was prone to meltdowns and slightly controlling. I would have fights with him over politics since he was libertarian and I wasn’t. He would accuse me of not respecting other people’s opinions, including his own. Opinions like “ICE good, darn immigrants bad.” He would also accuse me of being combative and not being able to deal with criticism because I dissented when he gave his takes on politics that were verbatim positions from Ayn Rand Institute articles. He’d call me a collectivist without giving any argument as to why. My criticising and not letting myself be swayed by half-arguments somehow meant (to him) that I couldn’t handle or didn’t expect criticism.

    At some point he sent me a meme insinuating he was, ahem, interested in his friends’ younger sisters when he was in high school. I regretfully tolerated that, but I stopped being able to take him seriously on some level. I decided to end the relationship after he wrote to me about sexual experiences he had when he was sixteen. I told him I didn’t want to hear any of it and went ahead non the less. Luckily the content wasn’t quite as explicit. If it had been I would have ended things on far colder terms.

    Matrix is in general quite the different different experience. A handful of governments use it because Matrix is basically being marketed towards the security sector. I think a lot of the oddness also stems from that.