I’m thinking things like “Same-sung” For Samsung, because all their products look kinda generic and boring, or Ford standing for “Fix Or Repair Daily” because of the engineering and build quality, or “McDiabetes”, for obvious reasons.
I mean microslop is pretty dang good
I usually call them Microshaft
He already named his company after his dick
Swasticar
And their premier vehicle, the CyberStuck
There’s a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it’s also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.
With a name like that you could say they were screwed from the start.
There could be a whole thread just on the variations of that concept, but the most obvious for a gas station has to be “Pump and Dump”
I believe they just rebranded as Mavericks. At least the ones around me did.
Iirc, Maverick is/was its own chain. Maybe they got acquired. The name change seems like a good move.
Also, not to hail corporate too much, but the Maverick burritos are legitimately the best value meal for food to go in my area. About $7 for a big burrito that doesnt make me feel like shit, and that I can walk in the door and grab from under the heat lamp myself.
Haven’t been there in years but I recall the “Big azz” burruito was pretty good. I’m a Don Miguel’s fan though. The blue or yellow wrapper varities were my favorites.
I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man’s Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like “to the chariot”
That is both awesome and the best acronym for GMC I’ve heard. The best one I’d previously hears was Get My Chequebook.
Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck
Walmart is its own insult.
The American embassy for McDonalds
“Home Despot” is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn’t.
I’ve heard “Home Desparate” before
There’s a trucking company called Swift that gets a lot of flak for hiring inexperienced drivers. One of the nicer ones is So What I Failed Training. The rudest one I’ve heard ends with Toddlers, you can probably work out the rest, but you probably shouldn’t.
Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking is my personal favorite
Sure Wish I Finished Training.
See What I Fucked (up) Today
Food court near me named Choices gets called “Chances”.
Pontiac stands for Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It’s A Cadillac.
When I grew up it wasn’t neanderthal 🫤
Fiat: Fix It Again Tomorrow, Lotus: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
Some friendlier ones. There was once an expensive camera brand called “Exakta” but Exakta owners affectionately called them “Approxima”.
I worked near a slightly fancy Chinese restaurant called Royal East but my coworkers (who went there often) liked to call it “Royal Eats”.
There was a nearby supermarket called Purity Supreme but people called it Poverty Supreme. That was waaaay before Whole Foods.
Amherst, Massachusetts was sometimes anagrammed to “Hamster”. I mean you could address letters that way and they’d get there.
Charbucks
Starfucks
I still call it reddit. It is already the name of a joke of a corporation.
Comcrap Slaveway Krueger Home Despot
In our household McDonald’s is nearly universally McZargald’s, based on the Calvin and Hobbes strip. They’re not much good for anything except a reliable place to stop and take a leak when you’re on the hyperspace bypass anyway.
Similarly, I don’t think anyone in my circle has referred to that Baja Blast, chalupa, and fried chicken establishment as anything other than “Cluckin’ Bell” for several decades thanks to the early 3D GTA games.
Before they became Microslop, they were Micro$haft in the IT world. The double entendre is self explanatory.
