It’s the lack of consequences early on that’s missing. If you give control to kids and they have no natural feedback that they can use to correct themselves, they’re not going to do well. That means letting them fail stuff, get detentions, get bullying, etc. kids need to be left to fail and learn for themselves how to deal. Sure, parents need to offer support and encouragement and help out at certain times too.
I will add, that “support” includes parents needing to tell beforehand, what is appropriate behavior, since that step is failed too often. Then if the kids mess up, they can recognize easier, what went wrong, compared to just fumbling and getting consequences for it, and having to figure out why. Outsourcing the responsibility to teach, just to the environment, leads to catastrophes too. Neither suffocating nor negligence, are good strategies for raising children.
It’s the lack of consequences early on that’s missing. If you give control to kids and they have no natural feedback that they can use to correct themselves, they’re not going to do well. That means letting them fail stuff, get detentions, get bullying, etc. kids need to be left to fail and learn for themselves how to deal. Sure, parents need to offer support and encouragement and help out at certain times too.
I will add, that “support” includes parents needing to tell beforehand, what is appropriate behavior, since that step is failed too often. Then if the kids mess up, they can recognize easier, what went wrong, compared to just fumbling and getting consequences for it, and having to figure out why. Outsourcing the responsibility to teach, just to the environment, leads to catastrophes too. Neither suffocating nor negligence, are good strategies for raising children.