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You’ve sold your soul for a very slightly better handjob. Nowhere does the contract say it’s mind-blowingly better.
The devil has to go first so he won’t know how much better to make it.
He’s the devil… Trust me, he’ll know.
In my expirience i will always win unless the handjob is within 5-10 days of distance because every handjob after the first one is just not as good in that window of time
If he waits i can just do one every once in a while until he gets bored or i forget for more than 5-10 days
Send us both to heaven. The last person to leave heaven loses.
So, you’re both in heaven and the last person to leave loses, assuming you mean just out of the two of you (since this is about winning a competition against the devil), the devil would leave immediately and win. Are you assuming the devil can’t then claim your soul since you’re already in heaven? Why not just make it “the last one to leave wins” and then you and the devil are in a staying-in-heaven stalemate.
I’m pretty sure they meant first one to leave loses (or last one to leave wins) and just had a brain fart.
Bro, what if heaven sucks shit?
damn, if I get to choose… then it is not a fair game.
first, if he is there threating me to go to hell, then it is safe to assume that heaven is real.
challenge him to do something against his nature.
Challenge him to be the better kindest person, can’t be a kind person if he sends people to hell.
Challenge him to enter heaven by merit.
The devil doesn’t send people to Hell. God does. The devil is just there to receive and punish the people God determined weren’t good enough for Heaven.
“He’s sending us to eternal damnation because he loves us!”
-Christians who are in an abusive relationship with their god.
Pretty sure eternal is an exaggeration
To Christians? Absolutely not.
Hell, I don’t even think canonically he has any kind of official position. The Devil isn’t Hades. Hades has an official position - he’s Lord of the Underworld. He’s just as much a deity as any of the other Greek pantheon.
But the Devil? I imagine Hell as just a giant hole in the ground where God throws things he doesn’t like. As the oldest and most powerful being in Hell, the Devil ends up running the place by default, but it’s not a position of divinely-granted authority. He’s just as much a prisoner there as anyone else. The jail just has no guards, so the prisoners end up running things.
Hell, I don’t even think canonically he has any kind of official position.
He doesn’t. Him being the ruler of Hell was first depicted in Paradise Lost.
But you only go to hell because you lose your soul to him. if you win you don’t, and if the competition means he loses if he takes it, then he cannot take it.
give him a paradox.
This assumes rules are being followed. And by biblical terms, the devil doesn’t play by the rules — hence why he was cast out of heaven.
But you’re also assuming the devil is the evil one in this situation. And whose word are we taking that the devil is evil?
~Hint: the victors write the history books.~
I’m not playing by any rules either, that’s why I’m cheating with paradoxes
First, the existence of hell does not necessitate the existence of heaven. The existence of the Devil doesn’t even require a God. Maybe that’s just the story we tell ourselves because the truth is too bleak.
technically true, based on pure logic.
but lets face it, if I see a creature from the lore of certain religion, it would be a reasonable assumption to expect other aspects of their mythology.
finding a bit of gold in a river could mean that I have found all the gold in that area and there’s no point in searching. but come on.
He’s a magical being. Any competition is pointless, you’ll lose. It’s just another way to torture people.
I’d refuse. What’s he going to do? Torture me?
The old story/song, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” isn’t about a young man winning a bet against the Devil that he’s a better fiddle player. It’s the devil tricking poor Johnny into the sins of pride and greed.
The Devil pretended to lose so that Johnny would think that he was the best fiddle player in the world, even better than the all-powerful devil himself. (Pride) And then Johnny claims a reward of a solid-gold fiddle. (Greed) Johnny just cursed his soul to damnation, thinking he could actually beat the devil at his own game. It was a no-win scenario; the devil claims his soul either way.
Arguably wrath too (“I done told you once, you son of a bitch”). Also, isn’t God the only thing you could reasonably call the Devil’s parent? Did Johnny call God a bitch?
It was a no-win scenario
Johnny could have just said “Beat it, dipshit.” When the devil offered him a bet.
Yrah, he could have said “beat it, just beat it.”
That one wouldn’t come out for another 8 years unfortunately
That’s certainly an interpretation, but I don’t think it’s necessarily canon. The sequel makes it ambiguous as to whether Johnny committed the sin of pride, or if he was simply correct about being the best there’s ever been. The fact that The Devil Comes Back to Georgia opens with the devil being furious that he lost kind of implies the latter
No, magic stuff is for nerds so it’s always some logic puzzle…
…just challenge him to a devil defeating competition. You win, he’s defeated. He wins he’s defeated. Either way he has to wither and die.
That’s just how nerds be.
Apparently his fiddle game is trash, or so I hear.
Not up to Georgia standards at any rate
A humility competition.
I’m not the most humble person in the world, far from it. But I think I can (probably) at least beat the Devil in that. I mean, the dude thought he was better than God. He is, literally canonically, the most prideful being in existence.
Idk if that qualifies as a contest of skill though. Sounds pretty much like a “not being the devil competition”
A philanthropism challenge. Improve the world the most. I’ll lose, but whatever I do, he’ll top it. And then it’ll trigger the self sacrifice clause (which I can’t know about beforehand) and I’ll win anyway.
How do you measure this though?
Magic
I’d challenge him to a “not in any way actually being the devil” contest. The only way in which he could win is if he made me the devil and him not actually the devil and as soon as he did it I’d harvest his soul and move on with my new infinity power.
Devil is a busy angel with a lot of important work to do for god, who being omnipotent, clearly had a good reason to create such a being. I wouldn’t want to waste their time.
I would opt for a contest of billionaire slaying with points awarded by the net worth of each billionaire.
They must have a lot of faith in their handjob ability if they think anything better would be worth selling their soul for.
I was just thinking the same, he doesn’t have to put 100% of his effort in. Just 1% more than yours.
Whoever dies first wins. At least he wouldn’t get your soul!
Whoever dies for the last time first
I think I’d beat him in “self-loathing”. /s
Or you get your hands removed
You don’t think I could do it with 2 nubs?
Would be a nubjob, and wouldn’t be as hard to be better than.
So you say…
But then you could get robot devil hands and play the shit out of a holophoner to win the love of a one eyed alien babe
My wife and I were just talking last night about how great it is that Dean’s unhealthy eating is essentially the writers continuing/canonizing a running gag from the set because everyone made fun of how Jensen would personally eat like half of the crafty table every day.
I didn’t know that. Makes the Scooby-Doo gag even better because you know he would have done the same thing as Dean in that situation!
Long jumping… through the pearly gates.
Presuming the existence of ‘the devil’ confirms a certain mythology.
