Whether intentionally or not, what do movies depict or present wrong a lot of the time?
Sex and relationships in action movies.
The whole “hot chick gets horny for the hero after a traumatizing couple of hours” thing gives a pretty messed up view of relationship building.
Or as comedian Kyle Kincaid said, the idea that the action hero could still get it up.
Hacking.
tap tap tap I’m in.
Honourable mention is NCIS Dual keyboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQCute Asian girl with green hair and a side ponytail: “I’m in!”
Six keystrokes later: “Ok I pulled up the floor plans to the building, disabled the cameras and unlocked all the doors.”
One man’s Linux is another man’s OS/2.
Telephone etiquette. They just start yapping and then hang up without saying goodbye.
phone rings, main character picks it up
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.” - MC
“Uhh, I’m just calling about your extended car warranty…” - poor bastard
My mother’s husband does that shit though. Never says goodbye, just hangs up the phone and I’m left annoyed again.
How big a house an average person can afford.
Another version of this - how big an apartment/house an artist can afford.
Not if you presume they have rich parents.
Yes, and how nice it is, and how ckean it is, and how littke their csr breaks down and how sparkly and well maintained or their workplsce is, or how brilliant their job is despite being an “average, underdog hero”
Hacking.
That’s probably just a fancy gui skin over a boring port scanner and a bash script testing some 0 days.
I want a realistic hacking movie, and I know how it should be done:
In plot, it needs to be an ensemble cast heist movie a la Ocean’s Eleven. But it should have a “this isn’t serious” tone similar to Down Periscope. Because it’s about a penetration testing company. They’re hired to do a full physical and digital security audit on some large company, so then we follow the crew of law abiding computer nerds and burglars as they plan and perpetrate a series of hacks and attacks on this company.
The stakes if they get caught are they hand a letter of authorization to the security team, say “good job” and report to the company that hired them that their security in that department is good, so even though they’re taking their job seriously there isn’t really any tension and they maintain a goofy sense of humor.
And you’re in luck, Jayson Street and Deviant Ollam have already pretty much entirely written this, just watch their defcon talks. Get those two guys on either side of a coffee table with a bottle of fine whiskey and you’ll have your screenplay before the bottle’s empty.
It’ll never get made though because Master Lock would sue you for even trying. You couldn’t make it without completely obliterating Master Lock.
Movies and shows about legal disputes rarely show how long and dragged out they usually are
Imagine being stuck in a theater for 6 years
Explosion and gun sounds in spaaaaceeee!
Gun sounds in general. All those action heroes are deaf after that indoors shootout
MWOP
mawp… mawp…
Bruce Willis would agree
Suppressed weapons. Shit is still loud, anyone anywhere near it will hear it. Also, when a bullet hits a person or any other surface the impact sound is loud as well.
Hitting people with beer bottles. You take a beer bottle to the head and you’re probably done for.
It’s not as consistent as your point about the silencer but also people absolutely both can 1) keep going after being shot, getting hit once and instantly, silently, being down for the count isn’t that realistic and 2) a lot of people haven’t actually experienced real pain to understand how bad real pain is you don’t get shot and just suck air through your teeth tie a piece of fabric around it tightly then act totally normal, pain can be physically and mentally disabling, especially after a few minutes and the endorphins wear off. I understand shooting people to have them fall down and start screaming bloody murder while also trying to scramble to shoot you back isn’t necessarily good story telling but if it was part of story telling I think a lot of shootings would be skipped in plot lines
- a lot of people haven’t actually experienced real pain to understand how bad real pain is you don’t get shot and just suck air through your teeth tie a piece of fabric around it tightly then act totally normal
Tbh, it depends on the person. I’ve broken a finger before, and while it hurt like hell I didn’t scream in pain. I was silent while thinking oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck in my head while trying to get to safety.
That being said, once the adrenaline wore off I had signs of shock. I couldn’t stand for long before getting tunnel vision
I’ve had a double lung transplant with no epidural, I did physical therapy on ECMO, real pain is mentally disabling. I’ve broken both my arms, the first one I sat for 40 minutes before decoding I should go to urgent care, the other arm I drove myself there. Once you cross your personal threshold for pain you’re more animal than human.
Sounds like CF. I knew a chap who also had a lung transplant after spending a week on ECMO. I can’t even imagine what you both went through.
I think listening to your buddy dying all night in No Man’s Land is a staple of WW1 films.
Beer bottles not so much, I’ve been hit with a beer bottle and a wine bottle, hurt but adrenaline is a hell of a drug. I have seen a guy do the super cool break the bottle on a table to threaten a guy once, he needed 20 or so stitches when the neck of the bottle shattered in his fist. But it did stop the fight.
I’ve seen a guy take a ball bat to the head and kept fighting. Adrenaline exists for a reason.
Romantic relationships. Way too much stalking and abuse of power. Far too many very large age gaps. All that stuff.
Find me a romantic comedy that doesn’t depict either of the two leads being psychotic or felonious.
The age gap thing is gross. We need to get some of these people in a cold shower.
Millennials/gen Z with their phone sound on. I get it’s to fill otherwise blank space in the sound, but we’re not texting with the click-click-click-click.
How easy it is to twist someones neck to kill them.
Honestly an important reality check. I’d convinced myself it was super easy
Pulling people out of a burning building. In reality the smoke and fire is so bad, you ain’t seeing shit, not like the clear visibility like they show in the movies. And I spoke to a firefighter who’d been doing it for 35 years. The guy was teaching fire safety at my workplace. He said he responded to thousands of burning buildings and the number of times anyone’s been saved out of a burning building? Exactly zero. That always stuck with me.
The heat alone is off the fucking charts, too. These are 1,100-1,500F. Like trying to walk through an oven only 3 or 4x hotter.
Though I fully agree with you i do recall this youtube video from a few years ago of a guy running back into his burning home to save his dog and he got him out alive.
If you know exactly where you’re going, and the path is not itself in flame, and the residual heat+smoke have not yet rendered both your path and your patient’s current location unsurvivable, then it is possible.
The movie trope of covering your mouth with a rag and walking through rooms which are actively on fire, trying to find someone who has been inside that same room getting asphyxiated and/or cooked for several minutes is most definitely not real.
How often real people have to go to the bathroom.
This one is always hilarious. Like James Bond will be out on some mission for several days and I’ll be like “damn, I wonder where he took a shit”
I feel like this is something left out of pretty much every survival video game. You have to figure out how to get food and water etc, but you never have to dig a hole to shit in. It is part of being alive.
I imagine the LOTR council scene, but they’re all peeing behind trees.
“AND MY AXE!”
Gear changes in cars. Any car racing or high speed chase these cars are always accelerating and changing through endless gears despite being on a long straight.
Except Ronin, Ronin does it well since the chase is in the city and they’re always slowing to avoid objects turn down alleyways etc so going through the gears over and over actually makes sense!
Ronin is still the best car chase scene of any movie.
Giving birth. In movies and TV shows it’s always this sudden thing. Like “My water broke! The baby is coming!” then there is some pushing and screaming and bam, baby. In reality, having a baby takes many many hours and often times days, even with induced labor.
Yeah
