Stipulations:
- You cannot die and are immune to disease
- You cannot alter the future such that you change the world from your point of origin. i.e. You cannot become so famous that future people recognize you as immortal.
- If you vary the timeline too much you will cease to exist.
Immune to disease? Welp, time to become a massive slut throughout the ages.
I would survive on Mamie Van Doren, Brigitte Bardot, Sheree North, Rebecca De Mornay, Pam Grier, Rosie Perez… I mean I could go on.
…I mean someone’s gotta make horny posts without Violet here, right?
Love that the only thing stopping you from being a massive slut is your mortality and fear of venereal disease!
Yeah, the 60s would be insane. Everyone fucking because they live in a world where they are far less aware of STDs. Ignorance is bliss
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if I am immortal then just do my own thing. Work a job for a while and move on. Rinse and repeat. I have been a nobody for 63 years. It is not really that hard. You know like the Highlander.
There can be only one…
As I was reading this, I disappeared in a flash of light and landed in 1945. But I have a plan.
- Learn acoounting, get a job, grind for 10 or so years
- Start investing in Ford, GE etc. and wait for the compound interest to kick in
- Buy a farm, continue to invest. Retire “early”
- Grow a beard, get some white hair paint
- Travel to “relatives” in Australia for 6 months every year
- While in Australia, get rid of beard, set up alternative identity as my own nephew, get involved in fledgling computer domain, invest
- Back home, take up fishing, end up disappearing at sea one day, nephew inherits everything
- I am nephew. Got enough money now to stop working, buy a vineyard in NZ, spend 6 months in the year abroad
- Invest in IBM, I should be filthy rich by now
- Hire professionals to set up a dozen or so alternate identities in English speaking countries. Kill nephew, avoid Australia for the next 20 years
- Numbered Swiss accounts, different looks, pro theatre makeup, the works. By now my 10+ offshore companies own 10% of Berkshire Hathaway between them
- Rotate identities as needed. Invest in the dot com bubble from 100+ offshore shell companies. Cash in and buy tech stocks after the crash. I am now richer than God, but still not intervene in not-yet-current affairs
- No posh events, no media, no socials ffs. My ghosts come and go. I own a few law firms that take care of business and identity management. When suspicions arise, I change countries. Ireland works for a while. I now own 10-20% of all major tech companies, because I bought them before it was cool
- I get into crypto early. Money has no meaning anymore. I mark the days and months remaining to May 19, 2026, when all of this began. I need to insert myself into my old life right as past me begins the journey, will probably feign a nasty flu afterwards to get back on track. Small price to pay for total freedom
And here we are. Money wise, I own about half the world and now I can finally act. Where should I start?
Please dump enough “political contributions” into us politics to get intelligent, empathetic, progressive people in charge.
It’s pretty rare for good people to become immensely wealthy and stay good people. Money corrupts, and once you’re to a point where money is no longer survival but a high score, that starts to drive your thinking.
Absolutely correct.
Maybe immortality, infinite wealth, and a hundred year long life won’t corrupt THIS person?
Brb gotta go pray to the Easter bunny …
Living 81 years with the prospect of annihilation if one rocks the boat too much will change a man. Likewise honing the kind of duplicitous skills required to simply survive the attention of the world.
So, would my moral compass stay intact? If I don’t work at it, no - I’m under no illusion that it would. What I expect to happen is that I would continue to avoid the public eye. But once the shackles are off, there’s no telling where this goes.
Stepping out of this role for a bit, if I had that kind of wealth today, what would I invest in? Education and science. Press freedom. Rule of law. Anti-poverty programs (part of education). Probably others too, but those are the essentials.
“If you vary the timeline too much, you will cease to exist.”
Even if you want to be altruistic enough to sacrifice yourself for the good of humanity, you’ll be wiped out long before you’re able to change enough to lead to lasting improvement.
Can you spare a few million?
Get fucked peasant!
Fuck. It’s your fault!
Not yet, but it’s about to be. Just watch the dominoes and remember me.
Nono you don’t pin this shit on someone else now. You don’t give an evil mastermind origin story speech and then temporarily back out!
🤣
OP tied my hands from day one: change the history and disappear. That restriction expired only 2 days ago. I do have things in place, and some calls have already been made, but these things take time. That being said, I have no ambitions of taking in the limelight. I’m a simple man, and I find I rather like the shadows.
I could tell you a bit about what’s cooking, but why spoil the surprise?
Kill Jimmy Savile, John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Epstein, so on.
Then you don’t survive, you cease to exist
Like for real or because you became a killer you lost your humanity?
No because of the rules of the hypothetical posed in this post
Indeed. Lame rules.
Would be a shittier hypothetical without boundaries because then what would be the point?
What’s the point with rules? People trying to become Musk, like that won’t change history.
ALL OF THAT, JUST FOR A SAFE CAREER IN ACTING?!
Let’s just be excellent to each other, ok?
Become a famous actor, nobody will believe I’m immortal because it’s not possible.
So you just get a normal job and get to live through one of the greatest economic booms of American history where you can raise a family of 5 with one singular income?
Literally just go to work for 40hrs a day 5 days a week and you could have damn near anything you want as long as you’re white?
This is a dumb “what if”.
Well if you want to be boring with your answer and not have fun thinking of other interesting ways to solve this problem then yeah it’s dumb,
I think having a family would be too sad
And live in America
Sit around and wait. I’m immortal.
“Hey this guy has sat here for 30 years and he hasn’t aged one bit!”
* ceases to exist *
Sleep it off in a coffin like a vampire? They didn’t say you could starve.
How will I survive if I cannot die? I just will
The challenge is in not erasing yourself by the rules, by being famously immortal. Presumably, you also don’t age. So you just have to move around every decade or two.
Kill history’s greatest bastards and/or their parents until I destabilize and cease to exist.
I like this one. Changing the world for the better is noble
Go to Leningrad, kill Putin parents, die. If still living, go to next city to kill another old fart fucker parents. Fuck this world.
Then you fail, you cease to exist
I think if I was 20 I could just backpack all over, get easy cash in hand jobs and fuck around for decades. However, if I’m sent back now at 48 being twice the weight I was at 20 I’d probably struggle as this late middle-aged oddball who has come from nowhere and has no period-specific skills.
If you vary the timeline too much you will cease to exist.
But there’s a chance you will make the timeline better for those you leave behind? I’d be spending a lot of time in NYC, waiting for an opportunity…
1945? Bank robbery is still incredibly easy. Literally all forensics is during this time period is just fingerprinting. People are also malnourished and incredibly weak compared to the average person in 2026. So beat up some GI that illegally kept a gun from the war, use that to perform a series of bank robberies along the west coast of the US and the American South (where Gold stores were concentrated during the gold standard period we find ourselves in).
After that invent corporate trusts and the concept of multi-layer corporate holdings. This would be having a corporation per property owned, which is owned by a corporation and uses services from another corporation, all of which eventually ends in a labyrinthine ownership path that few, if any, forensic accountants in the 1940s could possibly follow to find out it’s all just me.
By understanding, even just vaguely, which cities and areas get built up over time in history and buying surrounding properties cheaply and simply holding them until areas are built up enough to sell them for massive profit I would be able to generate essentially infinite money from basic seed money. Add onto this a series of bank and hedge fund holdings that are informed roughly when to invest in specific companies as they come up through the ages the infinite money glitch becomes an exponential money glitch.
Again layers and layers of holdings on holdings on holdings creates obscurity and complexity that would take well into the age of computers to ever unravel. A kingdom easily rivaling the Rothschilds, while being even more hidden as I’d be copying their modern techniques a half century before they perfect them.
With infinite exponential money during the golden age of capitalism I can wait until the present day when I’d no longer be effecting the timeline and then start funding communist revolutions globally, allowing for myself to become a martyr in the revolution.
This just sounds like what the rich are doing already. Maybe they’re the time travelers after all.
I stay in my same body, at the same age I am now, keep all my teeth, etc? I am nearsighted, it’s gonna be difficult.
What happens when I pass the day I am born, though? Are there 2 of me?
I don’t think I’d change the timeline much anyway, it seems hard to. Though I’d love to become a lawyer and advise Al Gore against conceding the election he won. Even if I ceased to exist that might be worth it.
Im assuiming doctor who rules where just dont interact with yourself
I’d assume Harry Potter time turner rules, where there were always two of you when you were growing up, because future you had already gained immortality and gone back in time. But you never realized there was a second you when you were growing up, because future-you actively avoided interacting with past-you.
It also resolves a lot of the “what if you accidentally change the timeline and prevent yourself from ever being born” types of paradoxes, because you were already born which means anything your future-self does will automatically resolve with you being born.
tomato tomato
Move to Montana or Idaho. Live out in the middle of nowhere. Read a bunch of books.
Functionally impossible unless you completely isolated yourself from civilization. Any impact to “the past” will alter your origin, even if just by changing which sperm cell fertilizes a complete stranger’s child. You have to define what “too much” variance means.
Had to scroll too far for this :)
