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That little fuckhead got me into this mess.
14 y/o me would be pretty damn jealous.
It’s a good feeling
Yeah, 14 y/o me had a lot of shit to wade through before he could be me. Now hes just sad it will be a lot harder for future mes.
There are many reasons I chose not to have kids
Unironically think they would be proud. I clawed my way out of the depression pit and am working on the plans I had since I was younger.
I’m playing video games all day every day. He would be amazed. It’s adult me knows it’s bad
i transitioned, my 14 year old self would cry from joy
He’d probably give suicide a lot more consideration.
Look, I’d like to see that little shit do better.
Actually probably yes.
“What’s your allowance?”
“Over $20/week”
“Wow, that’s a lot of money”
I’m not sure if I’d be proud or disappointed.
trigger warning
By age 10, I’d already decided I was going to kill myself at 24, and I was looking forward to it, assuming I hadn’t already died by then. By my 14th birthday, I was doing my annual countdown from 10.
I don’t know if I’d be excited that I found things that made life worth living, or consider myself a failure for getting it wrong when I tried. Reflecting on that age, I don’t think myself an idiot or anything, I just see a kid who tried their best with what they had, and had already given up on what seemed like an inescapable situation. I feel bad for 14 year-old me, and I’m not sure I’d be able to face that kid without feeling completely destroyed.
So, I don’t know if there’s some kind of psychological phenomenon at play here — but it sounds like something very similar to a circumstance my mom went through (albeit, the stakes were much different).
She used to smoke, and when she decided she wanted to have a kid (eventually me) she gave it up. What she told herself was that if she quit and wanted to start back up at 65, ok? Who cares, she’s already old at that point so it’s not like it’s worse than having smoked for the previous 45 years.
Eventually never went back to them. She is actually repulsed by cigarettes now.
I think what I take from that is my mom didn’t really give up cigarettes, at least not psychologically. In her mind she could go back at any time and there was no issue, she’d just go back to not smoking (and she didn’t even do that, she just quit). I wonder if maybe a similar thing happened to you here? You gave yourself a goal so far ahead in the future that you also gave yourself ample time to grow — even if that goal was inevitably death. It’s almost like sewerslide was your way of equalizing the playing field.
Idk, I could be wrong — I’m glad you didn’t go through with it, though.
I accredit proper medication, scaring the shit out of my friends and family who I thought would have been happy if I were gone, and LARGELY that change in mindset that you’re talking about.
Thank you for sharing that story
Look man, If I wanted to disappoint two people at once I’d take my parents out for dinner or find a couple of neurotypicals and have a threesome.
If dinner goes well enough with your parents, maybe you can kill two birds with one stone.
huuuuuuuuuuurk
Tua!
that gave me a chuckle-urp. nice.
I’m going to enjoy torturing my 14-year-old self. My 14-year-old self was a shithead. But I was raised in a conservative Catholic house, and at that age I firmly embraced the version of reality common among the Fox News set. I was that annoying conservative high schooler. Sure I was repping hard, but I was still an idiot.
Now I’m a late-30s trans woman, about to celebrate 8 years of marriage to my wonderful husband.
The things I can say. I’m going to haunt this kid’s dreams.
honestly if I met my 14 year old self I’d give that kid a hug. they wouldn’t accept it, but wow did they need it. turns out shit does, in fact, get better.
I would just encourage 14 year old me to knock my dad out until he figured out I wasn’t his beast of burden to yell and scream at. The last time he laid hands on me was 14. At the time I didn’t realize I physically intimidated him.
I’d say probably. But would be very sad in how little we ride bike now (used to be all the time, year round, rain, snow, or sunshine). But we’re not yelled at every single day! Got a good job that even teenager me would think is cool.
