There is a tiny man inside the drum behind the fan and as it heats up, he must walk forward like on a hamster wheel to not burn his bare feet. The man walks inexorably forward, blind and delirious from exhaustion to avoid the agony of being roasted alive.
You’re a sick fuck for buying this thing OP.
No don’t worry, I talked to Premlak before and he really likes his job actually.
the heat actually vibrates the blades of the fans at a special frequency that allows it to communicate with the undead.
using a special set of mircoscopic engravings on the back of every odd numbered blade, it communicates with the vengeful spirits and asks for a man named ‘josh’.
once the fan hits 100°c, and josh is successfully conjured, he utilizes his insanely strong arms to push the fan in a counter-clockwise direction.
upon the cooling of the fan, josh relieved of his duties, and sent to the break room. another spirit is premoted to a ‘josh’ to take his place.
josh darn it
The fan has a small gnome creature permanently jailed for his crimes between the bottom foot and top fan. When you heat the bottom he bounces around Mario 64 style and rotates a small crank attached via string. This motion generates enough energy to spin the fan at like 3 rpm. The gnome cannot be released under any circumstances.
It detects when you are in heat, and turns on.
The earth is spinning like really quickly all the time and we just don’t notice it. Heat if a form of vibration, and so when heat is applied to the bottom of the fan the atoms there move more. A gyroscope resists tilting forces because it is spinning, and the earth is spinning, but the vibration of the fan decouples it from this effect. The blades are able to move freely and the earth moves around them, pushing air through the blades.
tldr: It’s not spinning, you are spinning
But how does the cosmic ether interact with that?
I’m glad that you asked! The earth’s rotation creates an energy field that brings the ether to rotate in sync with it, even at a distance. You can see the effects of this in the atmosphere in hurricanes. The ether is very light and so as the energy field spins the ether faster than the earth it creates the same fan effect but for our atmosphere. Hurricanes never cross the equator because that’s where the forces of the earth spinning against the ether and pushing forward against the ether are perpendicular.
tldr: the earth is a really big fan and it makes hurricanes
Wind turbine for Jesus farts.
HEAT not included
I mean, it says on the package.
You need heat, so fly to the nearest sun and install it on the hottest part. Just position carefully so you don’t cause the sun to spin slower and cause a cooldown effect as that’ll cause it to stop working!
Ghost blowing on it like a pinwheel.
It gets hot, then it blows you- what else is there to know?
Eats the food in the oven and do the work. Like a dog.
Why is the gauge missing rpm?
And when will this tech evolve for human body heat?
(I want to fly using by buttplug!)Fake: the fan doesn’t work
ADHD: the fan is inside the stove
The fan draws body heat towards the stove so, in the long run, you use less firewood.
Heat move up. Heat hit blade of fan. Heat turn blade.
