For when it’s real bad: The Sad Bastard Cookbook

Veggies + pasta + sauce

Beans + veggies + sauce

Various forms of potato

Carrots and hummus

“West African” Peanut Stew, which is an Americanized version of various groundnut stews/maafe, is super nutritious and cheap. It is quick if you put in 1hr in advance to make like 3kg of soup, ~8 servings, for ~10 bucks. I think it’d freeze OK too.

Look up a recipe, but basically: 1 onion, garlic, 6c broth (vegetable in your case), 2lbs sweet potatoes (maybe 3lbs if vegetarian), 1 bunch greens (collards, kale, mustard greens, whichever you have/like/are ceapest), can diced tomatoes, peanut butter, 2-3tbsp vinegar, optional spices (cumin, turmeric, bay leaves, chili powder, paprika, cayenne pepper/red pepper flakes, oregano, minced ginger, msg, etc), optional garnishes: peanuts, cilantro.

Sautee 1 diced onion in a pot until translucent, add garlic and spices & sautee 30s more, add 6c broth, 2lbs cubed sweet potatoes, chopped greens, can of diced tomatoes. Bring to a boil and simmer for 20mins. Take off the heat and add 1c peanut butter and 2tbsp of vinegar (recommend adding 1tbsp at a time and tasting so as not to add too much), stir to combine. Serve.

I add 1lb chicken to mine and it makes like 3kgs of soup. Calorie dense, nutritious, very tasty. I also add a small amount of soy sauce, fish sauce, and/or worcesteshire when adding the liquid - imo this mimics some of the fermented sauces used in West African foods. Apple cider vinegar added at same time as the peanut butter really improves the dish. Salt and pepper throughout cooking, of course - but even without spices this is a tasty soup. Spices do help though.

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It isn’t super fast because dried beans need to soak but buying beans and rice in bulk is huge. I also recommend making roasted chickpeas, I use a premade indian spice mix for chana masala on mine and it is delicious. Just soak, boil, coat in olive oil, season, and roast at 350-375 for 30-35 minutes. Tons of calories for very cheap and high protein. Only major drawback is that you can’t roast chickpeas in bulk because their texture changes significantly after cooling.

Buy a bunch of silicon containers or boxes that are both freezer and microwave safe. Take the biggest pot you have and make a massive portion of food. Eat 2-3 times, freeze the rest in individual meal portions. Repeat 1-2 times and you have a massive storage of cheap, healthy, delicious food.

Suitable dishes:

• Indian curry
• Thai curry
• Japanese curry
• any other curry, just experiment
• soups
• pasta Bolognese etc.

Big upgrade for your nutrition and kind of fun to cook such massive portions, while also allowing you to be lazy 9/10 days

I’m sorry to hear you are in this situation. There’s some great suggestions here already that I am also saving for myself, and I though it high time to talk about our national dish; stamppot.

Stamppot is a dutch family of dishes that are very simple to make. In essence, it is boiled potatoes, mixed with vegetables and mashed. A little bit of butter/oil to make it smoother. Traditionally eaten with small pieces of bacon mashed through and sausage on the side, but you can also add spices like rosemary + thyme, nutmeg, turmeric + cumin, or even cheese to bring it to taste.

Typical vegetables/combos:

• kale
• carrots + onions (1-1 ratio)
• sauerkraut
• lambs lettuce + 1 hard-boiled egg
• spinach But many vegetables can be used. Some vegetables need to be cooked with the potatoes (the kale, carrots, and onions) and some added after boiling and removing the water (sauerkraut, labs lettuce, spinach). You can even combine vegetables if you wish. Honestly, the sky is the limit.

Lentils, my friend. They don’t need soaking. Aside from soups and stews here’s a fun recipe:

Find some wheat gluten, could be in the baking aisle, maybe in the “ethnic” aisle with Asian stuff as it’s used for making seitan. I got some from a health food store where I felt like I was carrying explosives as I strolled past bourgeois folks and their toddler on a leash.

• 2 parts cooked lentils (I like red lentils, could substitute chickpeas), puréed and cooled
• 1 part wheat gluten.
• 1 part breadcrumbs

Add water or broth sparingly until you can knead it all into a rough dough. Spices to taste.

Roll into "meat"balls or burgers. Bonus: gluten is protein.

Fry or bake.

A second tip, frozen veggies and fruit retain a lot of their nutrients. Best to buy a kilogram or two of frozen berries in winter rather than a wee clamshell of tasteless berries flown in from Peru for the same price.

Third, tofu is often cheaper in Asian groceries than in supermarkets. Cube it, toss it in salt, white pepper, and cornstarch, fry until golden brown. The cornstarch gives it a good crispy layer. Mix soy sauce, oyster sauce (available with no actual oysters as ingredient too), white sugar, stir fry veg of choice. Serve over rice.

Cowboy chicken. Recipes are all over online, but I love it, usually presented as a one skillet meal so easy, and very filling!

Cut up chicken, coat in chili powder and smoked paprika, then sear. Dump in corn, beans, veggies and simmer for a bit. That’s it.

Bulgur wheat and whatever veggies you have on hand + whatever spices you fancy.

Throw in 2 cups or so of the wheat, add your spices and the harder vegg (like carrots or mushrooms). Add water so it’s about 2/3 of the pot (you can add more if it’s not enough when cooking). Boil. Add softer vegg (like broccoli) after it’s reduced some if you want, or throw it in at the start if you don’t mind it falling apart. I usually add an egg once it’s cooked, but it’s not necessary; I just need the protein.

Sorry I don’t have anything more specific, I do all my cooking by feel.

AFAICT I can only get bulgur wheat at one bulk store in my city, none of the ‘big box’ stores carry it. You might also try smaller shops that cater to middle eastern communities.

cheapest meals you’ll ever find.

• beans
• rice
• seasonings
• ramen

also if you can, grow your own veggies. yellow summer squash dries really well and can be used in lots of dishes.

winter squash like butternut stay good for 6-10 months in the right conditions and can literally fill a meal.

carrots are easy to grow and high in nutrients, they can be stored for several months as well.

make sure you keep all your scraps and reintroduce them back into the soil as fertilizer. I would dry them and grind them in a blender along with egg shells, a bit of coffee grounds, dried fruit peels (like banana, orange, apple, etc). sprinkle over soil and mulch over that(could be dried leaves or hardwood mulch), and water.

if you grow eggplant, the leaves can be dried and boiled to create a weak insecticide since the plant is related to tobacco.

fight powdery mildew with vinegar and water. A 1/10 solution weak should be good enough.

if squash bugs or other pests are a problem, get a torch and burn them and the eggs off your plants. if you’re vigilant when they first show up, you won’t have to work so hard later. remember, the point is to “cook” them, not cremate your plant.

if space is a concern, grow things that crawl. greenbeans, peas, tomatoes, acorn squash, yellow squash, zucchini. all can be grown from pots on trellis. make sure they get plenty of light, water, and nutrients. careful with some squash though, they can crossbreed if they’re in the same family.

think of it this way. you spend $10-20 on heirloom seeds and take the seeds from your best harvest every year, you’ll never have to buy those vegetables again. $10-20 dollars, for a lifetime of food.

rice
canned kidney beans (you need a good amount of beans to rice to get a complete protein profile)
vegetable stock (i use powdered which seems cheapest)
ground coriander seeds
ground cumin
ground chipotle or any chili
limes or vinegar
shallots or onions, hot chili (if you like it hotter)
garlic and or garlic powder
tomato paste
any oil
salt, pepper
fresh coriander and parsley if you can afford it (i use frozen parsley)

a large pan or pot with airtight lid (this is necessary to steam the rice)

drain beans
wash rice if you are concerned about arsenic or dirt (i sometimes leave it dry to get a bit of toast on the rice)
make about 0.5L of vegetable broth
chop onions and garlic, chop chili (de-seed for less heat)
heat pan with oil, add powdered spices (not the garlic powder) until fragrant,
add onions and garlic, chili, stir as needed
add tomato paste (about 1 tablespoon)
after about a minute add rice (stir until a bit toasted)
add beans, stir
cover with broth (about 0.5 - 1 cm above rice) add water if necessary
add parsley, garlic powder, salt, pepper, dash of vinegar (if not using limes)
cover pan, turn heat to lowest (if that burns on the bottom you can also turn off heat)
cook 20-25 minutes (do not open the lid)
near the end roughly chop fresh coriander
turn off heat, open lid, gently stir
close lid and let it sit for 5 minutes (not strictly necessary, YMMV)
if you like it tangy add some more vinegar to taste, add salt if necessary
serve with limes and fresh parsley

a very cheap meal that can be upgraded (fresh coriander, limes) if you have some money left over.

for non-vegetarian experiment with lard instead of oil and chicken stock.

Coconut curry lentils over rice is a favorite (I use the recipe budget bytes has online). Rice and beans will be your best friend cuz you can have so much variety.

Most soups take time to cook only by boiling for a while. Preparation usually is quite fast.

My wife does this cheap and fast soup:

• Cut potatoes in big chunks
• Cut carrots in big chunks
• Onions the same way
• Add garlic by taste
• Meat in same big chunks, preferably beef
• add 2 bouillon cubes, salt and pepper by taste, bay leaves and cloves if you have any.
• boil for a while, maybe like 20-30 mins.
• Enjoy.

Big chunks as in approx 3cm by 3cm cubes. It doesn’t make much time to cut veggies like this. I can do this soup alone in less than an hour.

Also, suggest to get rice cooker for a perfect side dish to any meat. Rice is healthy AF and with rice cooker is super easy to prepare to a perfect state. Also also, maybe get a slow cooker. You can throw food inside, set timer to start cooking and leave it til you need food to be done. Or pressure cooker if you want to speedup cooking.

In other words, invest in your kitchen gear. Cooking doesn’t take much time and effort if you have gear and tools needed to cook food. Good knives and kitchenware will save you money in a long run.

My tip is rice for calories, veggies for nutrition, dry beans/chicken for protein. Frozen veggies can get very cheap.

Potatoes are also super good and allow for a lot of variety. To make something tasty like mashed it does require butter and milk.

Side tip for rice, rice cookers are pretty cheap and save you plenty of time. You just toss in rice, water and salt in the correct quantities and good rice comes out. You can also make whole meals with it by putting some oil and frozen veggies.

For taste spices are key and big quantities of spice don’t cost much per dish. It takes some experimenting but once you get a hang of it it becomes very nice and easy. Garlic/onion powder, cayenna pepper, salt and pepper improve almost every dish.

One caveat is that seed oils are just not healthy so if the budget allows for olive oil, butter or coconut it’s better.

Hoover Stew: Elbow macaroni, can of corn, can of diced tomatoes, sausage/hotdog. I’d start looking up depression era foods and learning how to cook. It stretches your dollars further.