Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
Edit: for all the recruiters reaching out, I’m not interested. I’m currently Managing Director for Growth (Europe) at Tesla, and expecting to get a huge bonus after our Q4 2025 sales numbers are final.
That’s why my CV looks so strong:
Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
Edit: for all the recruiters reaching out, I’m not interested. I’m currently Managing Director for Growth (Europe) at Tesla, and expecting to get a huge bonus after our Q4 2025 sales numbers are final.
Head of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
I see from your resume that you’re good at looking the other way while we make billions. You’re hired.
PLEASE
Didn’t you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
I was the lead engineer behind the graphite tips rods at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant and I helped Boeing design MCAS for the 737 max
I just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I’d expect something in line with this.
Ohh it’d be hilarious to try and find cursed resumes.
However that would mean signing up for LinkedIn and I’d rather repeatedly hit myself on the head with a hammer. The brain damage would be about equal
I see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.
Weren’t you also the Lead Safety Engineer at OceanGate for a while?
No, that was at Boeing.