Maybe it’s cuz I’m an introvert, but I realized I haven’t really talk to my aunts/uncles outside of family gatherings that I was forced to go to…
Like idk, older generation feels so weird… like they feel kinda intimidating…
Yes. We get together with extended family every year. We enjoy each other’s company.
Weirdo
I used to until they all joined the maga cult. Last one i saw in person said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
I won’t see most of them but at funerals. The last funeral was terrible because they are terrible people now. Cousin also wore a trump shirt to the funeral. Trashy.
…said the n word in an unprovoked rant about black people, then praised trump for allowing him to feel comfortable saying it again…
There’s the whole MAGA movement summed up in one sentence.
(I know I’m generalizing, but) in my life, the same people who would have crucified someone wearing anything but a black suit and tie are many of the same people who would wear The Orange Anus’s clothing line at a funeral now.
Same thing with wearing/modifying the American flag. It used to be verboten by nationalists, but now it’s not (if they do it).
The last line makes it sound a lot more like social anxiety than introversion.
Eh, when I was in K-12 school, I remember talking to my peers in just fine…
Like what do I even say to older generations? There’s an authority differential I feel like.
Just catch up what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Not rocket science. I’m not close with extended family, but at gatherings it’s like we were never separated, the conversation just rolls.
I’m an extrovert, but my extended family is weird.
Most of them have problems, so I prefer to avoid them.
The one family unit that does that have those problems is very nice, but they are strange. I recently talked to my brother about it and he gets the same vibe from them.
But my immediate family is awesome! I talk to my mom, dad, brother, and sister weekly and I’m approaching my 40s.
I have a weekly D&D game with my favorite aunt and uncle, as well as my Dad and my cousin’s husband.
The latter runs one weekend, and I run the next, completely separate games of course.
I’m 51, my dad is 79, and his sister and her husband are a few years younger than he is. No idea on my fellow DM, I suspect late 40s.
If you find a common thread to hang on to, you can have a great relationship.
In this case, my aunt and uncle knew I was a huge weird nerd whose dad introduced him to D&D at 7 years old, so they thought to invite me when their daughter’s husband made a game for them.
Seven years later, we are still at it and I run a game for my friends as well.
These relationships can be nurtured, as all can. You just have to find and maintain the why’s.
Even people who don’t give a crap about birdwatching may still love to see the birds their old friends spot.
But to further your point, I don’t make much of an effort for those relatives that I don’t have much in common with.
This year’s Christmas present is a box of homemade fudge, rice krispie treats, and spicy chex mix, all homemade.
That’s the effort I put in for those I don’t have in my weekly or monthly life but are extended family.
No, they’re super nice people just, can’t find the energy to keep it up myself. Not that I’d remember either way… my parents are shit-shows though, so I don’t talk to them.
Yes. I have several cousins and an uncle in Germany. I admit we didn’t talk that frequently but we do talk on birthdays and holidays and we sometimes visit each other. In fact one of my cousins is coming to visit me next month. I fear for him. I hope CBP doesn’t give him a problem en route. I also share music ideas with another cousin.
I hope CBP doesn’t give him a problem en route.
Tell them to start like delete any political social media posts related to the US¹ and get a burner phone for the trip.
¹Not sure if this would even help, but leaving it up is probably worse.
That’s a good point. I travel with a burner phone.
I have some contact with my siblings but pretty much only see most people once a year for holidays. I could do without the holidays, honestly.
No. All are dyed in the wool trumpers these days and didn’t do jack shit for me in younger years in the midst of very hard times of family problems (eg, parental divorce).
I have my true family and loved ones, and would rather not complicate things. I’ve already spent hundreds of thousands of words mending one close relationship successfully; but that was one worth saving as taxing as it was.
As far as older people go you mention, the funny thing is I’ve always been more comfortable around people much older than me. Always felt distant from my peers, generally.
I keep up with my cousins and visit far away family occasionally. Mainly just to help keep the family together.
My mom has a scheduled video conference call with my siblings and I every few weeks, so we stay in pretty good contact that way. We also all get along pretty well. Family is spread out halfway across the States, so getting together in person is a bit tricky.
I see my sister who lives nearby every few months (generally when our parents come through), and one brother roughly once a year; other brother is farther away and harder to get together with.
Cousins, aunts, and uncles are rarer, even though they’re closer. Think the last time I saw any of them was at a funeral.
My parents moved away from both their extended families so I only met each side once at like family reunions.
So it’s me, twin, and mother out here in the area. I think mother keeps up with some of the 36 other cousins on her level of the family. I think twin vaguely knows what dad’s brother is up to (hiding in the woods)
We have an unholy amount of second cousins, twice removed cousins, but they’re all far away.
nope. they pretty much didn’t give a shit about me until they learned I was somewhat successful and had kids, then they wanted to be involved in my family.
no birthday cards, no wedding invitations, nothing. then bam, once they all started to get old enough to start dying they wanted to reach out and be family again.
not just that they ruined a particularly fond memory I had as a child and I never forgave them for it.
fuck em. they’re just strangers to me by now anyway. I wish them the best in life but have no desire to include them in my life.
No, mostly because they’re not worth keeping in touch with. The only times when I’ve interacted with any extended family, it’s always been as a sideshow to my parents being asked for money (or other stuff) by them. Keeping in touch with family was always secondary to them, and doing it for the sake of it was never in mind. They have no way to contact me and that’s the way I want it to be.
I really like my first cousin. Just a great person. I like her family, my wife really gets along with her, I like her husband, my children and her children are second cousins and they all get along too. We visit them in-person once or twice a year.
I hadn’t seen her for 15 years and then we reconnected at our grandfather’s funeral about 10 years ago. It’s nice sharing roots with other people.
