I don’t have kids but I still like to wonder about where planes are going
To get to the other side!
Some people get easy babys.
And then there are the people who get to be parents of ever-screaming high energy high need children.
That’s why I’m pro abortion. But not after the child’s 10th year. That would be unethical.
Silly, you have to phrase it the way new parents do.
Legalize abortion through 129 months.
I always thought labeling the death penalty as post-natal abortions would get the conservatives against it.
Yeah I agree, by the tenth year you know for sure wether that child is an asshole or not.
I have 1 of each. The first is our impossible one. I still get shocked how easy it has been the second time around. Things I used to stress about or cry over how fucked my life is are non existent this time around. Don’t get me wrong, a child, even a good one, is a huge amount of work. It’s just crazy how different they can be from each other.
We have one of those “major pain in the ass” ones, and sometimes I look at other people’s kids and think how boring they are. Love my demon spawn
Mine is crazy when she’s awake. But she has slept through the night alone since 6 months old. I have to remind myself when she’s awake how much more sleep I have gotten than other parents.
Though she did need to be held for every sleep period up until 5 months old. Some switch flipped. Before that she basically slept every hour on my wives lap or in my baby carrier.
I didn’t really want kids, but my wife did, so we compromised and had 6.
Jokes aside I found it super fulfilling, I had struggled a lot with depression and feeling like everything was pointless, but raising kids gives me a purpose and makes mudane stuff like work feel meaningful. I definitely get what the comic is talking about, it’s rough a lot of the time, but it was what I unexpectedly needed in my life.
6???
Yep, 6. After you have several it’s kinda like “how much harder could it be to have another?”
We had the same thought with our cats and ended up with five. Then we realized that if you’re unlucky it can get really unsustainable really quickly. For example if you have one cat and it develops 3 problems you have 3 problems to deal with. Five cats and each develop 3 problems…yeah you now have 15 problems to keep up with (vet bills, messed to clean up, fights to break up etc etc.).
I can’t imagine juggling six kids. Props to you all for being able to keep up with that.
Yeah there’s always a risk of getting a really hard to handle kid/cat. Some kids are just at easy, but others aren’t. There’s also a risk of suddenly have twins or triplets and ending up extra overwhelmed.
That’s all I needed to hear :D
but raising kids gives me a purpose
Ugh, this makes me shudder. It just sounds like “I’ve eagerly embraced my role as part of a procreation machine”.
I guess it’s necessary that some people become parents, in order to keep humanity going. And, it’s better if those people are doing it willingly rather than reluctantly. But, it just sounds like evolution reached into your brain and turned off some critical faculties in order to make you a more effective procreator.
So is the issue here that they find purpose in giving a part of themselves to another? Why police where a person finds purpose, if this so happens to be where it is?
The issue is that their brain appears to have been damaged by becoming a parent.
Why do you denigrate a happy and successful person?
I’m not denigrating them, just the brain damage that becoming a parent has done to them.
Father for 12 years here, never have I ever said anything even remotely close of this sort to any my non kids / single friends, is it an American thing?
American father here. Not as far as I know. I tell folks don’t have kids unless you’re 100% sure. Even then, get a pet first. I love my kid. But boy, do I sure believe folks should get all sorts of tests before they decide now.
Kids are hard man, especially if you didn’t have a good example growing up.
I hear you man, I was just always curious how often actually the issue comes up in a normal chill time with friends or even in a normal conversation with coworkers, unless people ask me specifically for advice, or ask about my kids, it’s not something that just comes up naturally…I’m here aren’t I? Trying to enjoy my time with you, nothing more, If I wanted to air out my frustrations, there’s definitely a time and a place
it helps to be enslaved to a system that forces you to spend an average of 8 hours a day working only to be classified as part time while getting no health benefits whatsoever despite there being essentially no government healthcare
*I’m including excessive commute and non-paid work as “working”
I’ve heard similar from people, usually the “you’ll change your mind when you find the right person”. I am from the US.
The worst was a conversation I had with coworkers. I mentioned I didn’t want kids because it would be really hard on my body to be pregnant after a near fatal car crash (back broken and lost a major organ). One gal said she thinks all women should have a baby. So I said, if I change my mind I can always adopt. She said “I think all women should have their own baby, it makes you a real woman. Adopting isn’t the same as having your own, there is not the same level of love there”. Worst part, she said this in front of another coworker who was adopted from a not great situation into a very loving and supportive family.
She was a misogynistic asshat about other things too.
Wow, that’s just messed up, never really understood why people don’t just mind their own business, even if you 100% in great health and decided to not have kids, it’s absolutely still your own decision…why should you or anyone if that matters be judged for it.
I 100% agree with you. I’m extremely happy for friends who want and have kids and I’m extremely happy for friends who don’t want and don’t have kids. I do not keep people like her in my personal life and I was so happy when I switched teams.
She was very much into, you can only be a Real Womantm if you follow these guidelines:
- Make babies from your own body
- Marry a man
- Have long hair (she was even weirder about this part)
She would always say weird shit like that when looking directly at me; an unwed by choice, childless by choice, woman with a mohawk. She was just a bitter dick about a lot of stuff and big mess. In my experience, stuff like that usually comes from people who are generally unhappy with something in their own life, thankfully it’s not a common occurrence.
Maybe it’s cause they don’t get as much time off work to care for their kids as Europeans do?
It’s a childless person thing. Very much an outsider “I only see my friends when they’re looking for time out” perspective.
If you want to see this in spades, you can go through the back catalog of Penny Arcade. Pre-kids, there was a ton of this “Oh no! Kids are the worst! They get in the way of all my drunken debauchery and time-consuming hobbies.” Post-kids, its a tidal wave of “Look at what my son can do! Look at what my daughter is into!” and they’re going out of their way to make life as fun and fulfilling as possible for the next generation, because that’s what they know they craved at that age.
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I’m starting to just be the person they want us to be because screw them. Like you said I’ve never seen any comic or media rubbing in the face of people with kids like these people without kids love to cry about. It’s watching a guy in the cuck chair cry. You put yourself there, quiet down.
Humans were never meant to take care of babies as couples or alone.
Research suggests that given the tradeoffs of our evolutionary path, we had to shift towards a collective parenting (call it tribe, clan, extended family, etc.)
The modern “individualization” of the person is what has convinced us that such parenting form is “normal” and bearable, and that if you feel overwhelmed, there is something wrong with you.
I dont know where i heard it, but “children should not have only 2 parents”. Meaning the grandparents, uncles, everyone else should parent the child somewhat.
The best birth control is other people’s children.
I gotta say, it’s been the exact opposite for me.
One couple has kids, and everyone passes around the baby making cooing faces. Six months later, half the block is pregnant.
Add in that there’s this reflexive desire in a big community of like-aged friends/family for our kids to be friends, too. My wife has eight or nine different cousins who are all her age. And we all had kids within a year or two of one another.
I used to agree but my hormones tell me otherwise.
I absolutely adore my kiddo and find meaning in my role as a dad that I did in very few other things I’ve done in life.
That said, it definitely does change your life in a way where you will not be able to prioritize the things that are just for you anymore. I am both deeply happy to have become a parent and simultaneously very glad that my wife and I waited and got our finances in order and traveled and lived our life as a couple for almost a decade before we decided to be parents. For parents whose story wasn’t quite as deliberate, I can imagine a lot of conflicting feelings.
Honestly as a father I agree that being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life but, I’m also so fucking tired of the “it’s hell” joke.
My older dughter is now a teenager with all the trouble that entails and the selfishness she has but still there are no words to describe how much she helps when needed, how hard of a pilar she is to me, how caring and loving she is…Oh wait there is one…
Family
🥹
Nuclear families are intentionally isolating because it makes women and children more vulnerable.
It really does take a village and we need to get back into living with big extended families.
I feel like this cartoon was drawn by someone who doesn’t have kids. Or didn’t want them but got them.
Be fulfilled without kids or with them. Don’t be fulfilled by judging those who have chosen different from you.
Meh, there’s enough of a biological drive to have children there’s no need to pressure people into it socially. It’s condescending to assume someone else will follow your same “growth” trajectory.
when I see a cute baby smile at me, its like a sims moodlet. “I need one of those. Why dont I have one of those”. After 24 ish hours I remember babysitting and caring for my sibling and cousin, and quickly go back to normal. 30 and childless.
Real talk. I said the exact same thing and didn’t plan to have kids. My wife and I didn’t have kids until she was 36.
Babysitting a cousin is not the same as parenting your own kin. It’s completely different.
Depends heavily on how indepth that “babysitting is”. When that Abby sitting involves cooking two meals a day for them, taking them two and from school, changing their diapers at 3am and taking them to the doctor.
All because their parents are too drunk and at the bar instead of home… Well
I fucking babysat my cousins and it was more raising them then anything their parents did
It’s not about what you do that makes the difference. It’s just having your kin changes the dynamics.
With my son, I’m imprinting him with everything and teaching him how I want to. The random tasks(like diapers, feeding, etc) that needs to be done is just a requirement for this imprinting.
My entire life’s from how I was raised when I was a kid to adulthood is solely on my shoulders. Every decision is no longer about me. It’s for them. My entire life’s purpose is to have my kids grow up how I want them to grow up.
With babysitting someone else’s kid, it’s just a task. A snippet, a small part of the entire process.
At 47 and my wife recently birthing our 2nd child, my only regret is not having kids sooner.
I would recommend reading the Baby decision to people. It’s a very open minded examination, despite what the title might implicate also very open and supportive for childless/childfree mindset. Even touches topics like, just because you like kids, doesn’t mean you have to have them, you can teach, volunteer for after school activities, etc.
I think the single most important take away from it is that whether you decide to have kid(s) or not, you give something up.
You also have to go into it responsibly and it’s also okay to reevaluate as you go along, e.g. just because you wanted 3 kids before getting married, doesn’t mean you can’t take a moment to reevaluate after the first if you still want that.
Even touches topics like, just because you like kids, doesn’t mean you have to have them, you can teach, volunteer for after school activities, etc.
Plus parenting is a lifelong role. Your kids are gonna be 50 one day, and you’ll probably be alive for that.
Personally, I’ve never liked children (the age group), but I have always admired some of my friends’ relationships with their parents, and have always wanted adult children (that is, the relationship) of my own, so I had kids. And although my kids are pretty cool, I still mostly think other people’s kids are annoying, and have only softened my views on that front a little bit.
I would be absolutely destroyed if I had dumb little copy of me that I was required to take care of.
I understand now why my dad was so distant and eventually went away.
Having an insane mother helps, too.
Naw, kids are great fun
I like kids but I do not want my own.
I think people should be OK with other people making their own choices.
Telling someone to “grow up and have kids” like in the comic is really shitty just like how telling someone they made a mistake by having kids would be.
Idk why the argument is "everyone should have kids or nobody should have kids. "
I feel like the internet has ruined many people’s tolerance for ambiguity or difference.
