All spam should be responded to in kind.
WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I’d just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.
I fart in the envelopes then they are like ‘yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!’
Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.
Aaaah pink eye!
When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.
I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls… They called me back lol
I’m curious what they have to say to that!
When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.
I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.
So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.
It was quite cathartic.
We can do that?
Do I just take it to the post office?
It wouldn’t surprise me if one slipped through, there are overrides on stuff that get rejected and USPS is a massive organization with millions of parcels moving at any given moment.
This idea came from people mailing wooden shims back to the credit card companies because it would increase the postage cost over the normal weight… Please don’t do that though. Letters go through a Dr. Seuss Esque sorter system and the shims are too sturdy and sometimes get ripped out of the mail and shot across the facility…
This … feels like you are telling me to go for it.
Feel free to stuff as much paper as you can fit, it’s just wood, plastics and the like that are too rigid for the machines to handle sometimes. USPS gets money for return mailing, so it’s a benfit to them as long as shims or pieces of plastic arent flying around the facility like a bullet.
No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won’t deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.
Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.
I’ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.
You’d just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.
If you work for the empire, you gonna see some shit
People don’t take those jobs as a choice.
USPS is using slave labor?!
Credit card companies are. USPS doesn’t have data entry people who would open the package.
Friendly reminder.
Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.
Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.
Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.
Is there a legal limit on the amount of farts I can put into an envelope?
Edit: I guess this really depends on the consistency of each fart, and the legal threshold of acceptable feces contamination (which can’t be zero). Anyways, does anyone know if they make airtight envelopes?
I sell abdominal gas collection catheters btw
This wouldn’t work, anyway. They only prepay envelope postage, not a box.
You can fit a lot of glitter in a envelope.
You’d just be annoying some data entry employee.
Wasting their time is wasting their money.
Plus it helps the post office!
Calm down there, Satan.
A lot of reply paid stuff for large corporations is calculated on weight not on item count, depending on the sorting system used by the country/region in question so this might work sometimes but it depends on a lot of variables.
If you’re concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn’t look “mass produced” to the recipient.
I just put another company’s junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.
This is how we save the USPS.
Let’s all do our part to help little boulders travel
Glaciers take millions of years to deposit boulders across the land.
Humans: “we can do better.”
If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s moving rocks around
Are they an invasive species?
They can’t reproduce, should be fine.
Their reproduction cycle is weird but they multiply. Oddly enough all it takes is a couple of sold hits with a hammer and you’ll have a bunch of boulers instead of just one. They’ll be smaller but there will be more of them.
Reminds me of a webcomic I used to read where the mad scientistesque physics student realized he could use the lead bricks he’d been using to prop open doors for exactly this purpose.
USPS got so pissed at me for just leaving my junk mail in the box. I told them over and over I didn’t need trash delivered to my place. In the end, I just stopped all USPS deliveries. I had nothing of importance coming in through the mail.
Postal Employee: “May I help you?”
Kramer: “Yeah, I’d like to cancel my mail.”
Postal Employee: “Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?”
Kramer: “Oh, no, no. I don’t think you get me. I want out, permanently.”
I tried to stop all deliveries and they said I could not. There’s even a criminal penalty for removing your own mailbox
There is no reason to ever mail me anything. When I order a package I have it delivered to a business
It wasn’t too long ago that I did it. Maybe 8-10 years ago. I realized nothing I needed came in the mail, so I just stopped checking. At one point the postman literally just took all the junk mail and dumped it on my front step. I raised holy hell with the post office about littering, after jamming it all back into the outgoing mail. I think the way the postmaster did it, instead of dealing with my assholeness, was just setting my residence to unoccupied in or something along those lines. Spam, of all sorts (aside from Spam musubi) is just a fucking drag. Like all marketing and advertising.
Lol. I just stick it back into the outgoing mail slot if they dont listen to me. My box is clearly marked with 'no junk mail’s signage.
Don’t use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.
Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don’t control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.
That’s a fair observation, but I assume they’re trained to deal with suspicious packages safely, and that stuff will get transfered throughout the whole building and make everyone’s lives that bit more ‘special’. It’ll still hit the bottom line too.
But they also work for the bad company, so my sympathy is limited. Not super limited, else I wouldn’t point out that they’re inevitably hourly employees, and a long day cleaning glitter creates an annoying backlog that creates even more overtime.
Punishing the worker for working for spammers, but also putting money in their pocket at the cost of the people making choices.Biggest issue is the cost of glitter. Easier to get dirt or rocks.
Rock, and 5000 live cockroaches
Steady on Satan, they’re only a credit card company! They’re bad, but not that bad!
Would take a little bit of doing, but rig the box flaps to a platform inside the box, then pour all the glitter on that, so that opening the box raises the platform and dumps all the glitter.
Rather than a platform, I’ve been wondering if you could rig it so opening the box opens some holes on the bottom, so they think they dodged the worst of it, pick it up to dispose of it and get a desk full from underneath.
Check the barcode on the bottom and make sure it doesn’t have your information in it.
Why? I don’t care if they know I sent it. Maybe they’ll be less likely to fuck with me any more.
Of course I haven’t checked my mail since 2020 when I got a stimulus check. I don’t even have an ID showing my address anymore. It’s still my old house
What can they do? Send you more junk mail?
I once sent a thick telephone book with “Return to Sender - not at this address” on it after receiving mail addressed the previous house owner. This was after receiving their junk mail over several years and returning it with the same message scribbled on the envelope. This tactic finally worked and stopped the junk mail coming.
absolute legend :D
For putting some crap in a box, taping on a flyer, and then lying on the internet?
You don’t actually think this happened, do you? Why would the post office ship a heavy package for free just because a no postage needed flyer is stuck to it?
Condescending dweeb refuses to allow people to enjoy a funny story.
Also weirdly accepts the premise of the story then calls it a lie. Like at least have some narrative cohesion in your snark, people, it’s not hard.
I’m sorry that it came off as condescending. Truly, that was not the intent. Tone is difficult over text, but I was more going for an incredulous sarcasm that beckoned critical thinking.
incredulous sarcasm that beckoned critical thinking.
That would be where the condescending tone comes from. If you don’t want to come off as condescending, don’t do that.
