The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there’s a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
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Be kind
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Ask people what they think, and why
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Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they’re the first thing that comes to mind. I’m not telling you to approve of Nazis I’m just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
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Engage sincerely
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Ask yourself if there’s something nice you can say
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Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what’s available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of “content” or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren’t the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse’s biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
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Everyone’s been really nice as long as I don’t touch anything political - then it becomes a fart sniffing smug fest.
Unless I know the other person has the same intent to respectfully listen and try to understand rather than argue I won’t engage in any sort of political discussion. Polarizing opinions have been completely normalized online and it’s literally ruining society.
Happy Lemmy anniversary! I’m glad you’re here :)
And yeah, I can very much understand that, I try to do the same. Sometimes it feels productive to talk with people you don’t share perspective with, but if it’s just gonna be a flame war I don’t wanna go throwing gasoline, nothing is gained by that
I’ll add: “be supportive and helpful if you can, and just shut up if you can’t”.
Fediverse is sometimes suffering from the same kind of people that Linux has - “oh you have a problem? Well, here’s the GitHub repo and a project Wiki, figure it out”.
Give quiche a chance.
I should give quiche a chance…?
I like quiche okay 😅 very eggy but it can be pretty tasty 🤷♂️
The thing that I appreciated most about Lemmy and my transition from Reddit is how cordial everyone has been. Even if a comment is taken out of context, people tend not to jump down each others throat and assume the worst, or make bad faith arguments full of fallacies. I’ve had legitimate back and forths with people, something that basically never happens on Reddit.
I fuckin love the hear that, I hope we can foster even more of that. It can be so hard online but I really think it’s worth it. This space is only as good and as worthwhile as we make it ❤️
Are you even reading the comments on this thread LMAO 🤣
Well I came here to chew bubblegum and talk shit, and I’m all out of bubblegum.
I am sorry surph_ninja, but I have to be honest, I was the one that stole your bubblegum
Hey thanks, I appreciate your post :)
Thank you! 🥰
Hope you have a good day!
I arrived at LEMMY after what I think we very optimistically called the Reddit Collapse. We wish. And I had toe in LEMMY and a few others at Reddit.
Recently with their abusively patronizing redesigning and gamification and just ugly bullshit, I can’t stomach Reddit at all. So LEMMY grows increasingly important, not just to me but to folks who haven’t yet even heard of it.
So, I’ll just say thanks for your post here. I have, I confess, engaged with a couple bullies on LEMMY and I always try to say… I don’t like to do this on LEMMY— and I say that precisely for the reasons you mention.
And as you encourage: I will try to be kinder, even in when feeling… hmm… less than kind.
Thank you for considering my thoughts ❤️. I think when our anger is justified and we are feeling less than kind is when kindness can have the biggest potential impact, and is most worth being proud of.
Undeserved compassion is a powerful thing. But I don’t think that means you can’t confront bullies and tell them their treatment of other people is unwelcome here. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive :)
One my favorite ways to summarize this kind of thinking is with the Bill & Ted quote “Be Excellent To Each Other, and Party On Dudes” (mostly the first half applies to this post though). The part that applies to this post, Keanu Reeves said he interprets as follows:
I think that the sentiment of it is really just be the best person, the best human being you can be, and if you do that, then you can party on and live life to the fullest, but you’re gonna be safe… You’re going to be supported, you’re going to get the gift of giving, you’re going to get the gift of receiving, you’re going to get to the gift of sharing. We’re all just some humans on a rock in space, and so it’s kinda nice to kind of promote that idea of ‘give a little, get a lot’, kind of bring it in for a group hug."
Fuck yeah! I wasn’t familiar with that quote, that’s lovely! Thank you for sharing :)
Getting better at communication takes time and practice. Depending on where someone is in that journey, a post like this can make a big difference. And I think we can all use a reminder to be kind every so often. So, thanks for taking the time to write this out
It does! Small changes over time can add up to incredible people skills and the ability to win hearts and minds ❤️
Thank you so much for the kind words my friend, I hope you have a lovely day!
I just hope people won’t turn it into another 4chan
The ban hammer is too strong here for that to happen
I think given the existing culture of this space and the reasons people are drawn here it would be hard for that specifically to happen, but that’s not to say we won’t have our own cultural and platform challenges
I think in a worst case scenario we’re more at risk of growing toxic and unhealthy in a new and different way than 4chan did
The thing in this post about curiosity isn’t just a lemmy/online thing.
The vast majority of people are mainly interested in themselves. Like - if you have trouble on dates, making friends, getting along at work, anything to do with people in general - approaching them with a sense of sincere curiosity will completely change things overnight.
Get people to talk about themselves, be supportive in your discussions with them, and shut the fuck up wherever possible and suddenly you’re interesting, a good person, kind, whatever - traits you’ve done exactly fuck all to demonstrate, but that people will swear are true because you seem interested in them.
It’s fucking bonkers but it’s true. Curiosity can change your world.
Active listening is a powerful skill!
“Be curious, not judgemental.” - Ted Lasso (via Walt Whitman)
I don’t miss the thousands of obnoxious, foul mouthed folks on FB that I routinely blocked. Haven’t experienced any of that on the fediverse yet.
I disagree, yes being kind is very important but even more important is people engaging and upvoting comments.
Reddit was great because of what happened in the comment section, not the headliners, and I see very little voting engagement even in active posts.
Remember, it’s free to do and it encourages others to engage as well. But yea be kind too
Voting is boring. Just comment yourself. Thats much better. We want content and discussions, Not just numbers;)
Did you not see the part where I actually commented myself?
I totally agree with your message.
These days everyone who is not ultra-left easily gets labelled as Nazi, similarly everyone who brings up any rather left argument will be called a woke snowflake.
Thus, any dialog is immediately shut down. Listen, understand, exchange arguments.
That is what unites everyone who believes in liberal values.
It’s a rough time, not helped by how profoundly important politics is right now. And the more broken the state of things get, the more divided we become, and the harder it gets to look others in the eyes and be okay with what they’re supporting :(
I don’t think there’s any easy answer. But I do think it helps to confront people who are doing harm, and open sincere dialogue with people you disagree with (when theyre willing to engage in good faith. No point otherwise.) And try to understand how they got where they are, and share why you don’t agree with them
Love you guys
Love you too man! ❤️
Love you too bro.
