E: Da Rules
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The teleportation can only be used to move you.
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Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.
The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened (“I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I’ve no clue how it happened”).
I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There’s also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.
This has the possible downside of you being dissected for the benefit of science. One human life for the possibility of discovering the ability to teleport? The astronauts/cosmonauts on the ISS would know about you, but you’d never make the news.
Scientists are not good at keeping secrets, particularly not of this level. Also, the ISS is remarkably public. It would be obvious they were hiding something, at the very least.
Would I expect to spend some time “volunteering” in a research lab, more than likely. I doubt it would get to dissection level. The risk/cost would be low enough that I would take it.
Yeah many of the transmissions to the space station are public. This would go viral before anyone “higher up” could have a chance to squash it.
That’s also before accounting for the various ground scientists who would rapidly become aware through the private channels. Someone appearing on the ISS would leak beyond containment before anyone could think to cut phone communications, let alone implement it.
Not too bad of a downside. I’d have myself dissected if it meant people I cared about would have a chance at figuring out teleportation.
with little to no harm
Not sure how resource allocation works and how quickly you could be sent back to earth but someone may have to be sacrificed.
There’s always an excess of resources, just in case of spacecraft failure.
There are actually already extra crew up there from the recent Boeing failure.
SpaceX would definitely benefit from having to come get you, since they’re the only launch company with a good track record, and spare capacity. (Unless you’re Russian, which means you’d probably be shot and stuffed in the garbage section of Soyuz)
Compared to telefragging someone on live tv? Also, on the balance, the media coverage would likely help knock loose some more funding for NASA, if only to try and figure out what the f*** happened.
There are always escape capsules onboard so they could probably just set them down to earth if that happens.
I would be more worried about something that is entirely untrained being up there for extended periods of time.
SPAAAAAACE!
I send Elon Musk to Mars.
I’d say a collapsing star would be a better option
That’s 2 teleportations:(
I’m not bringing him back and I’m sure as shit not going with him…
Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I’m going to materialize naked live in air screaming “the end is nigh unless we repent” and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.
Announce you’re a time traveler sent back…
“The rapture started and I was sent back here, God really wants us to stop using fossil fuels”
Planet saved for now but at the cost of giving rise to believes of christian fundamentalists.
I’d rather have the planet slowly cooked still, tyvm.
I can already hear “The mainstream media is playing tricks on us to keep us from enjoying ourselves by [insert any dumb shit like rolling coal or something]“
Odd train of thought: what would the rolling coal equivalent be for an EV? Just wasting fuel for something that looks cool… So high voltage discharge under the car shooting lightning bolts? That actually sounds kinda cool, now that I think about it, but it is wasteful.
Teleport myself into Putin to do the world a favour
Imagine being the one who has to explain that Putin died when another person burst forth from his body like an alien.
Would it be like a chest burster alien, or more like what Neo did to Agent Smith?
The Fly.
Asking the important questions!
“Look, nobody’s going to believe I just materialized here as opposed to evading your security check. How about we work together on getting out of here by blaming Gerasimov or Shoigu?”
People would assume you used some sort of weird explosive
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I chose this dude’s spawnpoint
I also chose this guy’s wife.
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You have been noticed, and found wanting.
So, you want to be an isekai protagonist. Understandable, me too!
Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.
Just teleport inside him then. Telefrag his ass.
If that works i guess. I’d hate there to be anti-clipping or something.
Oh my God I fucking miss Unreal Tournament. Modern epic games sucks so so much.
Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D
If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you’d be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.
As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).
Wish fulfilled and you get teleported between two floors and your just stuck like Robin Williams in Jumanji
Username checks out
To a place where there are plenty of crumbs.
What… what do you do with the crumbs?
Probably grabs them, like the dirty little crumbgrabber he is.
I am slowly using them to build a dyson sphere
I’d assume a cannonball shape and teleport myself into the body of any living murderous dictator (you can pick). I assume the sudden materialization of a 6’ tall, 200 lb human inside another human’s viscera would be a bit like swallowing a bomb. Even if it’s more a case of chimeric horror, the result is the same so I’m OK with it.
Aiming for a theocratic regime would let you swing into “I am your God now” territory.
The US house of representatives, just to say “I bring a dire warning from the future”
(they don’t realize you mean Brazilian time zone)
If there’s no return option then I probably wouldn’t use it. Maybe just to get to the shops or something and then walk back.
My mom lives three large states away and has Alzheimer’s but is still able to recognize people. She’s well cared for, but I’m sole caregiver for my bedbound family member. I’m reconciled to the fact I cannot travel to visit her, but if I could go for just half an hour, even just one hug, I would.
Edit: Oh, one way only? Nvm.
Without a return trip, that’s pretty useless.
With one, this just becomes a normal “Where would you teleport to?” post 🤷
So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I’d open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.
Cuba, for medical and/or dental care I can’t afford in the US
Just a FYI Cuba currently collapsing under the weight of 80 of sanctions. That have finally caught up with it.
Mexico or India ( best) would be your best bet
Can you afford to fly back?
Oh yeah, that’s the cheap part when compared to medical care
Edit: imagine monthly premiums ranging from $700-1200 with an out of pocket (monthly) max spend of $16k+. Oh, and dental and vision are separate policies.
🥲
I’d look up and memorize winning lottery numbers, then teleport back two weeks ago. (4-d space!) And then I’d just buy a lotto ticket and chill until my past self becomes my current self, but with lottery money.
Teleportation only works in spacial dimensions. You have now teleported to a slice of the 4th dimension that only houses the very edge of your known reality, making everything distorted from your point of view, and everyone will see you as a monster as you no longer resemble a human, but a blob.
