I don’t understand why people are making it such a big deal. Jesus died, yes, but he has risen from the dead after a few days. So basically he only died for a weekend, for the human race. “Oh what a brave man! He gave up his weekend!” There are other people who did much more for the human race, like Fritz Haber for example. Also, necromancy isn’t allowed according to the bible, so zombie Jesus broke the rules.
zombie Jesus broke the rules
Even living Jesus broke the rules. According to the
fanficgospel of John, Lazarus was dead for four days before Jesus resurrected him. It’s where the line “Jesus wept” comes from.The entire bible if filled with contradicting stories, with incest, child abuse and murder. Nice book as reference for a better life 👌
Realistically, the Bible is a compilation of cherry-picked stories ranging from historical fiction to high fantasy, written by dudes who weren’t alive at the time, in a language nobody speaks anymore, translated a dozen times, losing important historical and grammatical context each time, with parts added/removed/rewritten at the ruling political and religious leaders’ fancy. I want to read the version where a Bethlehem resident wanted to confirm Mary’s post-natal virginity by hand, but the pope won’t let me.
Damn. It isn’t dope the pope said nope.
Also, the book is interpreted the way people want to interpret as an excuse to support their bad behavior. It’s veeeeeery convenient there are so many versions out there, as a result of loose translations and copying by hand by monks for several hundred years. Just pick the version you like the most and you’re free to abuse kids and be a racist homophobe transphobe piece of shit.
If any gospel is least fanfic it’s John. The Synoptics are younger
“fanfic” absolutely sent me. That’s exactly what it is. Stealing!
that’s okay, I stole it too
Zombie Jesus will surely forgive us
Fritz Haber for example
I mean… Haber isn’t exactly a giant of morality and ethics. He did invent most of the chemical weapons utilized in WW1, and expressly defended their use as weapons.
He tried to kill people and ended up helping feed the world, then he tried to feed people and ended up helping the Holocaust. The guy is a fascinating historical figure but definitely a was a monster.
Yeah, and helping feed people wasn’t exactly his original motivation for the haber-bosch process either. During the late 19th century empires were running low on natural sources of nitrates for making gun powder, as the British had held a near monopoly of the guano mines in South America and India.
Judging by this, his time as an artillery man for the prussians, his combustion research after he finished the haber process, and his over all obsession with creating weapons of war… It’s pretty safe to assume fertilizer was an afterthought.
I wasn’t super clear but that’s what I was referring to with the “tried to kill people, and helped feed people instead”.
When he tried to feed people he came up with what eventually was used to make Zyklon-B.
Oh, nope. Rereading it, you’re totally right. Just a little of my dyslexia seeping in lol. My bad!
I’m kinda bummed out about necromancy though :/
Yeah me too, my favorite hobby but instead I’m only allowed to indoctrinate kids.
Fritz Haber… For the Haber-Bosch process or chemical weapons?
During WW1 he killed millions by developing chlorine gas, among other poisoness gasses, but he saves billions by discovering how to synthesize fertilizer. Without that discovery, most of the world population would have died from starvation, if not all.
You can lean to scientists like Norman Borlaug who saved billions without becoming a merchant of death.
Yeah but where’s the fun in that. Than Jesus died for nothing haha
Fossil fuel based fertilizer has also contributed to global inequality - synthetic fertilizer is 3-4 times cheaper in Europe than Africa.
And the cheapness of nitrogen fertilizer has led to massive problems with too much fertilizer ending up in the ocean, sparking algae blooms and subsequent oxygen starvation. Just look at the Baltic Sea.
atmospheric nitrogen is a fossil fuel
the fertiliser made itself more expensive in africarun-off is a huge problem, though
Yeah but who cares about Africa and climate, rich white people have stocked up supermarkets with products from around the world. Like New Zealand wine next to Chile wine in stores in France. Like… Ok… Australian mineral water in the Netherlands… With the highest quality tap water ever…
Capitalists be like “Jesus gave up his weekend, you can too!”
Dead Friday night and alive by sunrise Sunday morning. 18 hours dead at most.
I don’t know how long days are where you live, but dead Friday night and alive on Sunday morning means he was dead the entire Saturday, which over here means he has been dead for at least 24h plus the hours on Friday night and Sunday morning. Still kinda lame, dead for a few hours for the entire human race, both in the past and future. Is that all it takes?
I meant to say 36 but it was before I had my coffee.
Those are the moments I usually fuck up too. If Jesus would have died for 2 more days, maybe we wouldn’t need our black god juice to function normally. But no, Jesus was a lazy fuck.
For some reason I am most inclined to comment on lemmy in the morning while my coffee is brewing. The absolute worst time for brain activity.
Hahaha yeah me too
Nah, nights dont count, he was asleep.
Fuck no, bunch of hookers and cocain, sleeping is for losers.
There’s a significant amount of rape in the BIble. And a lot of it is condoned.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say sex slavery is a bad thing. But it sure does like talking about how all of those divine kings had concubines.
Or maybe that’s not a sin 😏
Now I get why the incels are excited with the ultraconservative agenda.
They say “biblical values” and incels hear “free rape.”
“blasting rope” the synonyms for masterbation continues to grow longer
This is the internet, you can say masturbation, you know.
that was a spelling mistake but I’m gonna keep it as another synonym now lol
Is that pre or post Jesus bible?
This is a thing Christians do all the time. “Well that was before Jesus.” Jesus never condemned rape or slavery (in fact, he told slaves to obey their masters). Jesus had four whole gospels to tell people to not rape and he didn’t. He also didn’t say anything negative about Solomon and his 300 concubines. In fact, he praises Solomon multiple times and says nothing about the sex slaves whatsoever.
So it doesn’t matter if it’s “post Jesus” because he laid out the rules very concisely and “don’t rape your sex slaves” was not one of them.
I was just trying to figure out where it was located lol
Sorry, I was expecting the common excuse Christians give. Yes, just the old Testament. Apologies for misunderstanding.
Its the post nut clarity…
TBH I can imagine people sent him to watch the passion as a result of the aforementioned post lol.
Jesus died so we could have bread. He is risen!
Also, rape porn is very much in keeping with biblical values.
I would thank Jesus for bread, but didn’t we have the stuff figured out quite a while before he showed up?
y’all need a good cook named Jesus in your lives. you get to thank Jesus personally and also swap baking tips.
well the bread they were eating was most likely a flatbread that did not have any yeast. Someone who has a better idea of the history please come in and prove me wrong.
The Jews that predate Jesus were making bread with yeast (and probably other cultures were too). The holiday Passover is celebrated with matzah, a cracker like flat bread that doesn’t have yeast, because the Jews had to leave Egypt in a hurry and couldn’t bring yeast with them and instead subsisted on matzah.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Matzah.
“Take this and eat it” works in either context.
Lot would be so proud he’d throw you a daughter🥲
Maybe two!
Jesus died so the bread could rise. blessed be the yeast.
Oh noooo, he suffered a few days and then got to hang out with his dad in heaven for eternity and be worshipped by billions of people. What a sacrifice!
Idk man I don’t think I would be okay with being nailed to a cross even if i knew it meant living in heaven for eternity
It happened to a huge amount of people. The Romans crucified so many people, it was so common place, that they didn’t even bother to write down how they did it. All I’m saying is, it wasn’t a unique form of suffering that was particularly difficult to Jesus vs thousands of other people in history. If the difficulty of the death was the measure, he didn’t go that far out of his way.
Being common doesn’t make it any less unpleasant
I just know there are Christians out there that have a very tenuous grasp on why exactly Jesus is the savior in Christianity and many think it’s because his death was UNIQUELY painful. The idea that it was uniquely painful is very much nonsense, or we’d have a lot of saviors. He had a horrible but common place death.
Yeah but if he wanted he could have gotten something way more exotic, like being filled with spiders.
Fair enough, but I also don’t think that we should consider a few days of suffering for an eternity of basically being god much of a sacrifice.
there’s billions of ways others have died a worse death - I’ll take a crucifixion knowing I’ll get eternal life in heaven any day of the week.
Uhh. Billions of ways? Lol the mythology describes a pretty fucking gruesome way to die. Whipped, beaten, nailed to a cross, stabbed, and left to suffocate.
Uhh. Billions of ways?
Okay, I’m exaggerating for effect. That said, I’m not saying it isn’t gruesome. I’m saying the “sacrifice” pales in comparison to everyday horrors that happen to real people who aren’t promised eternal bliss for the loss of a single weekend. Just look at what the cartels post online, much worse options.
I would put being stabbed in the gut, shot, set on fire, and then drowned up slightly higher. For context one of my ancestors encountered a bandit who was strangely durable.
Well, according to the renowned astrophysicist Belinda Carlisle, heaven is a place on earth.
The earth will eventually be swallowed by the sun.
Living for an eternity means that you will be alive when the earth is swallowed by the sun, you will live in that crushing depth. Until the sun is either swallowed by a black hole, or ripped apart by the ceaseless expansion of spacetime, ultimately ripping your eternal soul with it.
My take: death was preferable to living in the world his dad controled.
“You’re not a God, you’re just a jerk!”
He died so you can sin. Would be a waste of a good blood sacrifice to live a pure life if your god is just handing out grace.
It is a waste, good loves the smell of a burnt offering more, and they chucked him down a hole instead
Not surprising as much of online conservatism these days is just gooning. They’re all porn addicts who cry about the wokes taking away their softcore porn from their video games.
meanwhile I’m looking for better porn in real videogames. So far, nothing beats skyrim. Games that advertise having porn are shit video games, and most video games have terrible excuses for porn. Why can’t the two come together?
Try the Flip Witch: The Forbidden Sex Hex
Coming together is a rare and beautiful thing
The christian tradwife fetish is just about a free use full time submissive with a twee aesthetic, so I’m not that surprised
Go peruse the old testament and realize ypu would get demonitized for reading it aloud on youtube.
Pervertus inceptus romanus
How selfish is it to be happy somebody saw no other option but to suicide to save everybody else?
Jhon jumped on the granade and saved all of us, but we should not cry for him, we should be happy because his sacrifice meant we all survived!
The most basic shit fly off the window when it comes to Jesus.
Sir this is a Wendy’s
Yes, that’s what jesus died for.
This and blasting rope to waluigi hentai.
One where he uses his feet to crush watermelons, specifically
They probably responded by saying Christians aren’t perfect just forgiven
I wonder what happen if I hacked any preacher or pastor’s phone and/or PC?
duality of man
Wtf
Not a christian ( or religious person ) but there is a whole lot of r/atheism in this thread holy fuck
There is. Imagine going crazy on a shitposting sub post in a niche social media.
The fact that I got downvoted over this is showing me that the lemmy that I once knew before the exodus is not here anymore.
Really a shame
