HOAs say “ew no that’s for the poors” and good luck finding a house that’s not in an HOA within a reasonable commute to your job

Had me in the first half, ngl

I think it’s a red flag because rushing you (without a valid, stated reason) is an attempt to override your instincts while pressuring you to take a certain action. Outside of safety-related situations, that kind of situation has never gone in my favor.

Others have already pointed out that we’re indoctrinated into the myths of American exceptionalism and rugged individualism from a young age. I very much agree, but those myths are only part of it.

That indoctrination, combined with our lack of safety nets, shows up as a hypercompetitive attitude. (“It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.”) We feel pressured to be the very best so we might earn the privilege of feeling secure and stable. Trash-talking and bragging are hamfisted attempts to portray high status.

If you look at our social injustice issues through that lens, the injustice makes a certain kind of disgusting, antisocial sense. One who’s internalized the hypercompetitiveness will look at someone lying in the middle of the ground in a public city and think: they just aren’t trying hard enough, they just couldn’t compete. We look to others’ misfortunes for reassurance that we’re good enough, that we’re at the front of the pack. To make oneself smaller, to put oneself second, becomes unthinkable. (“Second place is first loser.”)

Can you experiment with using nonverbal communication to signal that you’re ready to go? Things like:

• If standing, shift your feet so they’re pointing away from the person (if ineffective, can escalate by rotating the whole leg away, which you can then escalate by shifting more weight to the turned-away leg)
• If sitting, put your hands to your knees/lower thighs (think an extremely subtle version of the Midwest USA joke where you slap your knees and say “welp!”)
• If sitting at your desk, gradually begin rotating back to your work (gently swivel seat back so your legs are under the table, can escalate by rotating your torso back to your work while keeping only your head turned, and if they’re still super clueless you can return your hands to your keyboard/work as well)

For being a low-key menace. https://www.cia.gov/static/5c875f3ec660e092cf893f60b4a288df/SimpleSabotage.pdf

Because not paying your taxes will draw attention from what remains of the system. I’m not thrilled about paying taxes to the dead and looted corpse of our government, but it’s better to stay under the radar.

It doesn’t count as DEI if you’re hired to be a sex object (disgusted sarcasm)

Not on purpose. I’ve found that making every effort to pass as normal is far more advantageous. If I have to choose between being treated like a child because I’m different vs. being disliked because people can tell I’m hiding something but not what that something is… well, I’ll take option B.

During morning rush hour (a near-standstill occasionally broken by brief periods of 10mph movement), I once saw a woman eating a bowl of soup/oatmeal/whatever while steering with her elbows.

It seemed to be a regional norm to eat breakfast in the car because a 20 mile commute generally took 1.5-3 hours and often moved slower than a walking pace, but that was the only time I’d ever seen someone eating food that required a dish and utensil.

The acronym “Laws” is a little too on the nose. I’d ask whether anyone involved in the development of these has seen the documentary film Robocop, but clearly they have and thought it was a great idea.

Elder Millennial here. I think I just have that “eww pedostache” reaction because, when I was young, such mustache styles were common among middle-aged men who hadn’t updated their styles since the '80s. Some of those men were creepy, so the mustache style became associated with creepy old men. And of course, teenaged giggling among ourselves about “eww pedostache!” really cemented the association.

I’m pretty sure our parents had the same initial reaction when we brought aviator glasses back into fashion. We’ll get over it, the cycle continues.

I still don’t like vertical videos. My natural field of view is landscape and portrait feels crowded and stressful. Also vertical videos have to be watched 2-3 times to see everything, because the person filming has to pan the camera so much, and they usually move too quickly. It’s like everyone forgot that a phone can be rotated.

Only once they start to wear out under the big toe, otherwise I can’t tell the difference.

I prefer old-school trance, mostly, but anything high-energy and instrumental works. I’ve been known to use the Mario Kart soundtrack now and then. The important part is that either there are no lyrics, or the lyrics are in a language I’ve never attempted to learn.

I’m mostly remote now, but on my in-office day it’s a 25mi/40km trip. (We bought the house years before I got this job, I don’t have the energy to keep a house showing-ready while working full time, and the houses near work aren’t in great shape.)

The morning commute takes about 40 minutes by car, the evening commute is more like 50-60 minutes. There’s technically bus service available, if I wanted to take 2+ hours each way, but I prefer having time to eat real food and do some exercise and mabye a hobby.

According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!

It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, IDK, but better safe than sorry.

DIY wet wipes (reaching over to the sink and dampening some tp while at home, or dampening a paper towel before entering the toilet stall in public)

It’s pretty common for people with ADHD to be able to play video games for a long time, because games are designed to make the brain pump out dopamine.

Up to you whether to get an assessment, ofc, but time blindness is a really common symptom. Your OP and others’ responses sounded really familiar to me.

Example, I recently had an argument over what a habit is. The other party claimed it’s something you do without thinking about choosing it, like muscle memory. Which I still insist is bullshit because everyone knows a habit is when you feel weird not doing the task, and the urge to avoid the wrong feeling makes you remember the task and outweighs the urge to be lazy. (Apparently this isn’t how it works for normal people?)

Have you considered getting evaluated for ADHD? (One of us, one of us!)