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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Look I’m sure you mean well but I’ve been hearing roughly the same line my entire life. “Nobody said it would be easy, the world needs you!” I’ve listened before, and all it’s gotten me is some unknowable amount of blood on my hands (complete with recurring detailed nightmares from the times I’ve watched the end results of my work) and completely discarded from society when it started affecting my mental health. The world is legitimately a worse place for the scientific endeavors I’ve been part of, and it absolutely does not need another overconfident white guy who was raised to be an oppressor and has been marinating in propaganda for the better part of 3 decades. It’s got enough of those already, strictly to the detriment of everybody living here


  • Military brat growing up in various parts of the US/foreign military bases. Like, my dad had leaves on his shoulder and I was often expected to be a showpiece at various squadron events a promotions and whatnot. Bought into all of the propaganda about American exceptionalism and how the military was full of heroes and always did the right thing. Managed to get an undergrad in physics so I could work on making sure people like my dad were more likely to come home. Got a job doing radar jamming for bombers; I was proud out of my mind and conquering the nightmares about my dad not coming home from my childhood. Did that for 5 years, and given the clearance and the nature of the work I learned a much more accurate version of what the American military does/is. Slowly realized that my entire upbringing and worldview were toxic horseshit, and let depression and PTSD rage unchecked because I was afraid of losing my clearance for seeking help. Finally couldn’t take it, quit, and went back to school. Got a masters in compsci and was working on a PhD when the PTSD started to get overwhelming and got kicked out. Probably for the better anyway, I was basically a glorified DHS intern as a phd student. I’m out of that situation now but I don’t know what to do with my life. Everything I know and all of my skills feel like poison, I don’t even believe in science anymore. Like in the sense that I don’t believe it can be used for the benefit of humanity rather than building imperial militaries or police states. I am struggling




  • Paintballs are trickier than just a water balloon. They have to be rigid/strong enough to survive the blast of co2 or compressed air that propels them, then they have to be soft enough to break on impact without harming the other player.

    They also just aren’t that messy. I worked under the table as a referee at a Paintball place when I was 13, and we played such that gameplay didn’t stop when refs were doing paint checks. We’d toss people out if they were intentionally focusing on us but I got lit up probably 10+ times a day, every weekend for 2 years. My jersey and slider pants came clean in the wash every time, and to this day the only lasting blemishes are the shredded fabric on the knees/elbows/ass from when I dove and slid a lot.


  • It gives people context for what kind of ai math I’m familiar with/formed my opinions about ai on (ie, generally lightweight transformer models rather than LLMs), as well as a small logos appeal of “hey I spent years of my life researching that shit, I at least kinda know what I’m talking about”



  • I’m not complaining about spotty enforcement of the law against American police, I’m complaining about things like qualified immunity or the thin blue line shit used to protect cops from consequences when they explicitly and clearly break the law. A regulation with less than perfect enforcement is still a regulation. A regulation with legal doctrine (QI) explicitly stating that it can be broken with no consequence however absolutely stops being a regulation.

    I generally agree with the content of your second two paragraphs, but i do not see how they are relevant to discussion about whether the police can accurately be called an unregulated militia. Yes, law is subjective and generally defined by the mores of the society that follows it. “Cops don’t have to follow the law and should be allowed to murder people with no consequences” is absolutely not part of the zeitgeist


  • The fact that they commit less brazen violence than unregulated militias of the past doesn’t change the fact that they are unregulated militias. How many times have you read about the bastards being punished for “excessive force” (read, cold blooded murder in broad daylight), then found that their “punishment” was a few months of admin leave and a new job in another precinct? Regulations don’t exist unless they’re enforced, and we have a wildly long public record of cops breaking the law followed by the legal system choosing not to enforce the law in those cases.


  • This. I was a phd seeking cybersecurity researcher leaning heavily into AI up until last year, and it bothered me to no end that some of the most promising technology I have ever seen was being primarily used to enhance the police state or increase BP profits by a few %. AI is literally a step towards a utopian post scarcity future, but instead of being used that way it was immediately weaponized against the working class for the benefit of the parasite class.




  • Ouch. I’m used to “do you feel old” posts being relatable, but the black theme on the computer tower and the 700mb disc hurt me. I remember feeling sci-fi as fuck when I finally got rid of my old off-white/beige tower for a black tower, and scoffing at the idea of removable media holding more than a few mb of data.