Heisenberg and Schrodinger are in a car. They get pulled over.
Heisenberg is driving, and the cop asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“No, but I know exactly where I am,” Heisenberg replies.
The cop says, “You were going 140 km/h, were only 120 is allowed”
Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts, “Great! Now I’m lost!”
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says, “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”
“We do now, you bastard!” shouts Schrodinger.
I heard that one as Heisenberg, Schrodinger, and Ohm, and continuing from your joke, the police officer arrests all of them. Ohm resists.
I’ve read that one too, I found it a bit thin, as both the Heisenberg and Schrodinger bits of the joke require s bit of knowledge of the theory, whereas Ohm is only known for the theory of resistance. Now if fort instance the flow of traffic was impeded, Ohm his resistance would relate to his theory.
Alessandro Volta, André-Marie Ampère, and Georg Ohm are in a car…
I heard another one with Heisenberg where he ran a red light and got pulled over by a cop, and tried to defend himself by saying that the speed at which he was driving, red traffic lights appear to be green because of Doppler effect (or Raleigh Scattering, I don’t recall) - and the cop smirks, “that would be some serious speed, huh?”
Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25.
Oh wow!
Would you like to hear a TCP joke?
I would like to hear a TCP joke.
Here is your TCP joke.
I have received your TCP joke. *laughter*.
—-
I’d tell you a UDP joke but I’m afraid you wouldn’t get it.
I will tell you an UDP joke, but you won’t get it. I will also tell you a TCP joke, and if you won’t get it, I will repeat.
There are two hard problems in computing:
- naming things
- cache invalidation
- off-by-one errors
Three engineers are in a bar discussing which school of engineering god belongs to, the mechanical engineer goes first;
“God’s a mechanical engineer, look at the bones and muscles and how they interact and move.” The electrical engineer is shaking his head;
“God’s an electrical engineer, look at the nervous system and how the brain is wired, that’s electrical engineering.” At this stage the civil engineer has a wide grin on his face;
“God’s a civil engineer, who else would run a waste pipe through a recreational centre?”
I haven’t got a joke, how about a tongue twister?
“When a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, there’s a packet pocket socket racket error to report.”
Bartender: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here!”
A tachyon walks into the bar.
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
Leonard Susskind, on seeing yet another one of Einstein’s predictions confirmed in an astronomy experiment: “They didn’t call him Einstein for nothing!”.
I’m going to need some explanation for this one…
Is Psychiatry still a science?
- How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
-
- One to change the bulb and the other to hold my mother…I mean the LADDER!
There are 10 types of people. Those who get binary and those who don’t.
There are two types of people in the world:
- Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
A Linux Mint User, an Arch Linux User, and a Gentoo Linux User walk into a bar. The bartender asks them what they’d like. The Linux Mint User asks for an IPA, the Arch Linux User asks for hops, barley, water, and some instructions. The Gentoo Linux User asks for a manual on how to first make the universe.
Three perfect logicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says “Y’all want something to drink?”
The first logician thinks about it and says “I don’t know.”
The second logician thinks about it and also says “I don’t know.”
The third logician says “Yes.”Edit: aw, dang, I see deadbeef beat me to this one… by 4 hours.
You’re not the first one to post the same joke over and over. But have an upvote anyway. :)
What does a mathematician do when he’s constipated?
He works it out with a pencil!
Do we sharpen the pencil? Asking for a friend.
Only if you’re trying to make a point!
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks: “3 beers?”
The first one responds: “I don’t know”
The second one responds: “I don’t know”
The last one responds: “Yes, please!”
