I would distrust any woman who would date an ICE agent, too.

People who really care about trump become eunuchs for maga.

As a bonus, whatever small bit of meat is cut off of you can be mixed in with the ground horse, dog and rat meat that trump is bringing in from South America for that discounted maga meat that walmart is selling.

Appropriately crossposted to nottheonion lol. This is like a real life version of Lysistrata.

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FBI added to this same warning, but animals too, instead of just women. /s

Anyone wanting to date an ICEhole is a piece of shit, fucked in the head, or someone who wants to compromise them. And I’m happy that’s their only choice, because it’s the least they deserve.

Ah yes, I remember how there were women who lured SS officers to their death this way during the second world war.

Nice to see this technique has not been forgotten.

Wow my last post is a lot more fucked up than it was funny and actually has me wondering : What if they started doing forced conscription for the “for-life,” prisoners or prisoners on death row to be ICE Agents?

This is the same FBI that is now overlooking incidents of bestiality in applicants, as of this week.

“I’m trying to understand why you did this,” [Republican Senator John] Kennedy told Patel. “We’re having a tough time attracting agents, good quality agents we all can trust … Why would you even get into bestiality?”

Patel said the change was recommended to him after he saw various “cases” in which qualified FBI applicants were denied consideration because they had been forced into bestiality as a result of human trafficking.

Ngl, I had a very confused hold the fuck up, what the hell are you even saying second there. Apparently I am not alone:

“I say this with respect to the person who recommended it, why didn’t you just say: ‘What planet did you parachute in from?’” Kennedy replied.

And all this in the same week. Coincidence? 🤔

Good god this is absolute peak comedy

While this is pretty funny, there’s also this horrifying detail at the end of the article:

What’s likely more of a risk for undocumented individuals is face recognition and commercial ad data. ICE officers can feed a photo of anyone into a facial recognition app called “Mobile Fortify,” monitor social media with apps like SocialNet, and look at vast troves of commercially available location data without a warrant. One surveillance app that includes ICE on its client list is Penlink’s Webloc, a tool which can pull advertising geolocation data for entire neighborhoods and search through photos to locate individuals with face recognition. Penlink explicitly advertises one of its data sources as Tinder. In May, Politico reported that ICE published a request for information (indicating interest in a vendor) to expand use of “commercial Big Data and Ad Tech providers” in investigations.

I love the article’s description of trad wives:

“…conservative women who dress like the women in The Sound of Music, but without the opposition to the Anschluss.”

I guess this is why Kash Patel needs to get that bestiality stuff passed.

So is this implying that ICE is OK with same sex dating, or that there are no female ICE agents?

“We hired you because we knew you were cronically unfuckable. Now that you have a taste of confidence and a good paycheck, we can’t have some broad giving you a reason to question your role in the gestapo.”