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The bread is “cheesed”.
There was too much water and too hot when the dough was mixed - flour appears to be cooked, like choux pastry - which implies the yeast died instantly and never leavened the bread.
Then there as a failed attempt to rescue the dough by addind more flour. There is a tentative crumb texture along the cut area.
And finally, the oven was too cold. Or, even worst, the bread was put in the oven at a low temperature or while it was heating to force the dough to rise.
That bread, and we are being very generous by refering to it as such, is dangerous to eat atop being an obvious disappointment. A bit of heart burn, if they were lucky, serious diarrhoea if not.
This one bakes! 🫡
For nearly 20 years, now. Why buy if I can make it?
Because I’m lazy and clumsy.
Lazy, I can understand. Being clumsy is not.
I’ve taught basic bread making to a guy while he was in the process of getting sloshed and he achieved it.
bake me a space shuttle! …please!
…Im not buying that! Too expensive!
Too dangerous. You’d eat it while using it. I can guess your plan. You want to go the moon and try that cheese.
Even though Im allergic to cheese…I kinda do wanna try that moon cheese though
Go for it. You can have my share.
If it gets cooked above 165, what is the actual danger in eating it? Apart from… being a choking hazard from being probably a horrible texture, I mean. Why would you get heartburn or diarrhea from flour, water, and dead yeast that’s been baked to high temps?
The dough does not look, in any way, throughrouly cooked. Enough to have pockets in it where either living or dead yeast is deposited. That is enough to disturb your digestion, either by off-setting the pH in the stomach or by disturbing the intestinal bioma. That was why I said what I said.
Are there parts that do look cooked?
Along the cut you can see spots where a rough crumb seems to be trying to form. But properly cooked? No. That would be strait to the bin, for me.
I didn’t have flour, so I used the closest thing I had: chalk. Could that have been the problem?
Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
Quick question, what do you hope to achieve by yelling this out into the anti-Reddit echo chamber?
Fuck Mark Zuckerberg, while we’re at it.
This looks like an unfired clay brick.
All I can say is that it had all the ingredients we gave you.
What more can you ask!?
I had to pause for a cackle
Wow, y’all are ruthless (i wonder where Ruth went!)
My first 2 or 3 loaves ever kinda looked a bit like this way back when I first started too.
Failure or the first step to success. Otherwise, it’s just luck.
The thing that improved my baking more than anything else was to start measuring by weight instead of volume. It’s more precise since you don’t have to worry about how compacted something is, and you can also just pour ingredients directly into a bowl with a scale instead of having to pull out and then clean 7 types of measuring cup.
If the recipe calls for X cups of flour, just use a chart to convert that to weight. I even have a scale (forget the name) with Bluetooth on it where I can save recipes to my phone and as I add ingredients it fills up little bars and dings when to stop and move to the next ingredient.
I’ve never made anything like this and I’m still very new at baking, this is a bread catastrophe. This is like someone glanced at a recipe once and called it done
Get good, kid… you can’t even legally call yourself a baker until you’ve cooked up a couple Frisbees that would be considered lethal weapons in Australia
Seriously. I thought it was bad when us guys in homec used a tablespoon of baking soda instead if a teaspoon in our cake… That cake was way more edible than whatever this image is.
If anyone actually has this happen, it’s your yeast being given too little time. Unrisen bread needs to be thin. Very thin. Like 3 crackers thick, tops.
As an aside, make crackers. You won’t regret it
As an aside, make crackers. You won’t regret it
Fertility advice for rednecks
I’m not american and I undertood that one. Top notch!
Me neither, but thanks! 😁
Now, lets not be hasty here, they might have just invented the future of eco friendly building materials!
Have you tried baking it?
Seems fine to me. OP just needs to dress it up a bit. Put it on a nice plate, throw an olive on there and chefs kiss.
You sound like a real gastrointestinal distress enjoyer 😄
Looks like cookie dough lol
Play-Doh doesn’t make for good bread.
That’s certainly a modified plastic explosive. Touch it wrong and you are gone
this looks like bread dipped in water
That’s still more breadlike than whatever you can find in the US lol
…what?
