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I’d probably listen to Admiral Ackbar, and walk on by.
I thought that was Dionne Warwick.
I have only found a wallet once in my life. I was able to return it. I couldn’t imagine losing that much cash. I would absolutely return it.
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Put the wallet in a safe place.
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Locate the owner.
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Kill them.
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Pay off credit cards.
Awfully kind of you to pay off their credit cards so they can rest in peace without the shackles of debt.
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Kill myself, because AI has begun generating things IRL
😅
The fuck is that?
IIRC the OP said that the bank forgot to remove the dye pack from the envelope when they withdrew a large amount of cash. Might just be a tracker though as I’m not seeing any dye.
But there is floss like string running through the bills, it looks like
Nice. I never even noticed that… although now that I’ve taken a closer look that black thing behind the bill with the board certainly could be a dye pack!
Lots of interesting engineering stuffed in there… I’m going to have to do a bit of research. There’s got to be an article somewhere. I’d imagine that a great deal of care went into something of this kind; you’d want it to go off on a delay, never in the bank, potentially if the money was removed from the envelope… that’s probably where the string comes into play.
Fascinating!
I genuinely think I might just leave it there. Looks too suspicious. That is no ordinary person’s money.
I mean, apparently I can just go apologize to some dude in a little box at church and get off scott free so…
Yoink.
As a child of God, I’ll ask for forgiveness
You always return the wallet. This is not a Christian thing, this is just a human thing. But here’s the pros and cons.
Number one scenario: it belongs to an insanely rich person. If you keep this wallet they will barely miss that money because they have plenty, however the police will work very hard to find you and then they will beat the ever living shit out of you and you will be sent to jail for stealing from an oligarch.
Scenario two: it belongs to somebody for whom this is their entire life savings and without it they will become destitute. You will face no repercussions for keeping the wallet and the money because they have no power. But you will have completely destroyed someone else’s life which makes you a vile disgusting POS.
Scenario three: it belongs to a drug dealer. And eventually that drug dealer will find you and murder your entire family because you stole from some cartel somewhere. Because the war on drugs has made drug cartels insanely powerful and contemptuous of the rule of law.
Immediately assume there’s some nearby surveillance and take Akbar’s advice.
I’d pee on it to mark my territory
Oh, god, not dog. My bad.
In that case I’d pee on it to mark my territory.
This is perfect for the NYPD entrapment operations mentioned by another comment under this post. Imagine their surprise when they realize they have ro deal with a urine-soaked wallet now. You’d probably still get arrested for disturbing the peace or indecency or whatever charge that jurisdiction uses to arrest people without an actual cause, but it would be worth it.
I’ve never been in the blotter, if this got me in the blotter I would absolutely print the article and frame it for all to see!
If you make t-shirts, I’ll buy one and wear it frequently.
❤️❤️❤️🤣
Pick up my wallet that I just dropped?
I don’t believe in any god at all and I would still pick it up and try to return it. We don’t need a supernatural being telling us what’s right and wrong. It’s innate inside all of us as social beings.
Look for the hidden camera.
