Took 5. Mixed with lemon juice (it hits you faster and harder, not recommended for larger doses like 3 and above) realized that everything and everyone is merely constructed by the brain in an elaborate hallucination that I have no way of knowing if anything is truly real or merely conjured by my consciousness. I havent gone back to mushrooms since as the feeling of being utterly alone is too much to bear.

Darkness made my trip much more powerful.

In the darkness, i saw sowe worms. At first i was afraid of them, but i immediately realized i could erase them if i wanted, and became unafraid. I watched them grow into an entire universe and became a small part of an enormous alien life form. I felt energy flowing in and out of me until it shifted toward out. Eventually, life moved on from me. I died and became buried under a meadow of grass, yellow flowers and small trees. I realized i was in heaven and could have whatever full experience i desired. My reward was to resume the life i am living now.

Did a bunch of acid for a while, and that had a pretty profound effect on how I perceived the world.

But the most profound was a DMT trip that made me stop being an atheist.

Ok, so i was treated really bad in school. I know what the other kids did to me was fucked up but years of mistreatment alters your self-perception. I had never managed to shake the idea that i deserved what i got.

One time i did so many mushrooms that i just lay gibbering on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Wave after wave of dancing mandalas erupted from the bare drywall. This gave way to a million images that flashed one after another and seemed to change faster than the eye can possibly perceive; of course, i was not seeing with my eyes. It was such an incredible experience i later searched the Internet for a word to describe it (that word is phantasmagoria).

Among the images were recognizable glimpses of places i had been, toys that i had forgotten i had ever owned, scenes i had only witnessed in dreams…

The visions were composed in the way abstract paintings might be: occasionally symmetrical, always balanced, and delightful to behold. i am not embarrassed to admit that i cried, it was so beautiful. Like, i am choking up right now just remembering.

Here is my big realization: the visions did not come from the mushrooms! The mushrooms were just the key. The visions were me - my brain, displayed in gorgeous tableaux for my viewing pleasure.

I saw myself, and it was fucking beautiful.

My first time on shrooms. Two friends and I took 4.5g (I think) each. Three other friends who did not know about the shrooms joined us shortly after and we went walking into the woods. The whole experience was surreal, at one point I had someone else’s hands, and later on I bounced an old tire off my friend’s head. He knows he deserved it for trying to fuck my sky.

I’ve done much smaller happy time does since then, but would love to trip in nature again!

LSD is the only drug I would do again, if I could. Would love to try micro dosing too.

But my trippiest experience was in a dream, not with psychedelics.

I had a dream that I turned inside out, not in a gross way, but everything that had previously been outside of me WAS me, and only what I had been before was outside of “me”. It was so transcendent.

It wasn’t so much that it was profound, but that something incredibly odd happened to me.

I had taken lsd but not enough to go full spaceman or anything so I was definitely still sharing the same experience as everyone around me lol I was in a house with 4 other people who were inviting friends of theirs over for a party so this one girl walks in and looked fine, like generic whatever nothing standing out, but something inside me was practically screaming “I fucking hate this person” and sure as shit 20 minutes later she’s walking around the house criticizing everything and making fun of my roommates.

I never lash out at anyone, but this girl pissed me off so much the way she treated everyone that I lost it. Just said basically you’re a fucking guest, just some girl our friend brought over, you don’t like it here get the fuck out! How dare you come in here and treat everyone like this!

It was so wild to just have such an intense feeling about someone before knowing anything at all about them and it being 100% correct.

Laying in bed, shifted dimensions, everything is red and black tessellations. 3 women stand around me looking down at me as I sit up from my bed (in my mind) and a person comes over and tells me to go back and I lay back down but I access this dimension again and sit back up, the women are now very amused by me doing this and the person runs over again to me and shines a bright light in my eyes and it’s very painful and breaks my experience like a dream ending.

I also had a NDE and met what I call the all thing and I was on ketamine and a bunch of other stuff (I was in the ICU) at the time so that probably also qualifies.

I’ve had a few quite profound experiences, one where I saw all the patterns in the universe, a peak behind the curtain of the maths that creates all natural phenomena. And another where I dissolved and became the northern lights

I also became the mushrooms once, I was in the ground amongst the soil particles existing as the mycelium threads, then decided to grow upwards as the fruiting bodies of the mushrooms above ground

I’ve had some amazing experiences of being other things in nature

deleted by creator

deleted by creator

I took two tabs of acid and found religion and (unrelatedly) realized I wasn’t interested in my fuckbuddy anymore and that our friendship had gotten weird since I’d started my relationship with my now wife.

The finding religion bit was basically me meditating within the pool of the divine feminine and seeing where I belonged within it.

Idk psychadelics mostly just call me on my shit and connect me to the whole of humanity and the earth.

Shrooms/psilocybin: Called and cussed out my parents, put all the shit my family talks about behind each others backs into a groupchat, changed my phone number, and quit drinking completely (12 pack nightly) now for 2.5 years total all within about 12h.

My #1 recommendation for anyone in a similar situation is that you are not allowed to have your phone or computer for 72h. A week if you can arrange a vacation. Watch videos on DVD / vhs if you can or read a book. Listen to music or predownload a podcast / audiobook. Go for walks. get a coloring book. Hopefully other people will add in some good analog activities. But do NOT contact the outside world at all for 72h.

It needed to be done but I could’ve done it with a LOT more grace if I’d waited.

Thought about reconnecting recently actually then I had this dream:

I was at a family reunion and mentioned the thing that my dead sibling did that left me with one of those early childhood harcoded fight or flight responses. Like it’s not existential; I’m not actually like afraid of just thinking about it but if it actually happens my body will just involuntarily freeze. Anyway in the dream my still living sibling responds by doing it to me “as a joke.”

I did not wind up reaching out. I think my body was trying to tell me something.

Opiates after being resuscitated. I have a lot of stories to tell and it took about half a year to get out of my system.

Now I live with that knowledge and memories but luckily I am not a drug user nor have access so so risk of relapse.