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So today I was heating leftovers in the microwave for lunch. I had a pretty thick piece of garlic toast that, instead of laying it on its side like normal people do, I decided to stand it up on its edge. The sight of the rotating upright garlic toast, coupled with the accompanying triumphant music I made up in my head for it, made me laugh way more than is probably rational. I may also be slightly sleep deprived today.
I need a drawing to visualise this
Okay, let me do this for you. Imagine me standing in front of you. Okay, now imagine I’m garlic toast.
spins around singing triumphantly
See?
It’s as glorious as I imagined!
I saw a turtle and I tried to photograph it, but the picture came out blurry, like the turtle was moving too quickly.
Kid got stuck between the couch and window. Managed to crawl in, but didn’t realise he could crawl backwards to get out.
Got a picture the other day of my nephew getting stuck crawling backwards under a chair. He hasn’t quite figured out forwards yet.
Its bloody hilarious that they go backwards first and get a furniture leg suck between their legs and freak out.
Kid and I each rounded a corner in the house and literally ran into each other. We had a hearty laugh! I love hearing his joy.
(This was coming back to the store, not leaving)
“Chivalry isn’t dead!” [fucking javelins your ass with car ladder]
Saw a computer whose complaint was “won’t charge” and the entire charging port was gone alongside the surrounding casing
Ah, remjnds me of the time I got a ticket for “system.wet” after the co-owner peed on it.
It ran the store, and he had just found out his wife was cheating with the other co-owner
My sister hit herself in the head with a brick after I jokingly told her to do it. We are both in our 30s.
My 8 yo kid. Got a higher belt in BJJ, and told me he wants to keep all hist old belts to show them to his grandkids one day.
Hearing my uncle and cousin bicker after he kept making a duck noise that annoyed her. The father, daughter thing they have is a riot.
We recently moved and don’t have a fence up in our yard yet, so we’re having to take the dog out on her leash. My wife was walking her around the back yard and the dog was very intently sniffing the ground, following a trail that must’ve been very recent. Meanwhile she never noticed that about 15 feet (4.5 meters) away was a cat happily laying on its back and bathing itself. We’re guessing the cat is what our dog was snelling but she never saw it, completely oblivious.
Talking with my girlfriend. We’re doing a set of relationship questions and were discussing that they’re supposed to be fun not a burden.
https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/the-36-questions-that-lead-to-love/8387736
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I work with kids, and one in particular has inside jokes with pretty much everyone he meets, and I don’t know all of them. He was sitting next to another kid to eat lunch, and since part of my job is to help him develop social skills, I encouraged him to talk to his friend.
Immediately, one of them turned to the other and went, “Nee nee nee nee!”
The other turned back, “Nee nee nee nee nee!”
And I sat there like, “Whelp, I guess I’m getting what I asked for.”
