I’d rather the person. A roommate that’s so good, I didn’t even notice them there until I physically checked the attic? Perfect.
That was my thought, if they’ve gone unnoticed until then that means they are quiet, that alone puts them in the top 5% of roommates.
Are they tidy? Do they clean up and keep the noise at a dull roar? They can stay.
You can call the police for a person.
You can’t fir 1000 roches.
Hell i’d take a person over 10 roaches
From a practical standpoint, the person is theoretically easier to get rid of than the roaches because there’s almost certainly only one of them and even if there’s two, of opposite sex, it takes considerably more time and effort for them to produce any more of them and even then more than a decade before those offspring can themselves breed. That said a person is as big as at least 1000 cockroaches and has more natural defences.
It’s a bit of a conundrum because there’s probably more readily available resources for getting rid of roaches than a person, but they’re probably less effective than most anti person resources that you can get if you can get them. You could try the anti roach tactics on the person but you’d have to get like a lot of roach spray and a lot of protective equipment because the cornered person is pretty dangerous. You couldn’t even really call in a professional either because I reckon they’d likely run away when they discovered they weren’t dealing with roaches.
Depending on your area the local police would probably be the best stand in for pest control at this scale and probably pretty effective too so ultimately the person is probably the better option of the 2 but that said it’d be an awful lot more disturbing than the 1000 roaches. There is at least the option of becoming friends with the person though which is not really an option with the roaches.
I’m sure tenting the whole house for a few days will get rid of both easily
I’m leaning roaches just because I won’t have as much difficulty explaining why I killed them.
Treating the question seriously, I think it is easy to think the one person is the right choice, because it just seems like less of a mess to deal with. However, I also think the end result is that you will never feel safe in your home again. You will always second guess if every squeak you hear is yet another person who somehow have made it into your house. This is the path towards slowly descending into madness.
Even if you got rid of the 1000 roaches. You’ll always think there are a ton up there. There could be 10,000 in a couple of months after you get “rid” of the 1000.
You can physically make it impossible for a person to get in your attic. You can’t do that with roaches.
Does anyone know I’ve found this person?
What?
Free person.
Think of the possibilities.
“Is anyone aware that I have located the individual in my attic?”
As a homeowner? Person. While it might be terrifying to discover a hobo living in the attic, at least they won’t infest every electronic item I own. And they can’t fit into the walls.
I made the mistake of staying with a boyfriend who didn’t disclose his roach infestation until I was already there. My god. They were everywhere. They didn’t even run when you turned the light, just give me a wave with one leg like, hey, how you doing?
A roach waving at me would make me drop dead on the spot.
One human sized roach, or 1000 roach sized humans?
Definitely the 1 human sized roach this one’s obvious. It’s hard enough getting rid of 1000 roach sized roaches and now you want to give them human ingenuity?
Killing a thousand roaches would be pretty difficult… I’m just sayin’…
Yeah but so is hiding the dead body of a person
Are we making people jerky I love people jerky. --The jungle ape on Johnny bravo
Big Bomb
Leave for the day.
Person seems solvable
“This is truly, on god, the first “would you rather” that I’ve ever had to devote significant thought to.”
They just don’t like punctuation.
Edit, sorry @ prenupbutter@lemm.ee I meant to reply to you.
1000 roaches or a human in my attic is not what fucked me up, it was that damn second comment and I scrolled furiously thinking surely it’s not just me. Thanks for the explanation.
What does “on god” mean? First I’ve heard that term.
They’re swearing to god that what they are saying is true. It’s phrased a bit awkwardly, I think they’ve mixed up “I swear to god” and “hand on heart” or maybe “on my mother’s life”, something like that.
“on god” is just zoomer slang.
Ah! I’m pretty old, definitely not up to date on the latest slang.
Roaches don’t have squatters rights.
For once I am glad I live in a location that I would be too hot for anything to live in my attic.
That’s what you think. Roaches can survive extreme heat. Humans, not so much.
I didn’t need to hear this before bed time.
The Roaches. I can simply kill the person. I could claim insurance for the damage caused by the roaches.
Why tf would you kill the person??? You don’t know anything about them
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Depends on the person TBH
Well let’s get specific; what sort of person would you pick over 1000 roaches, and vice versa?
If the guy was a chill roommate, probably preferable to cockroaches. Creepy or violent would probably push things towards the mostly harmless insects.
If you have both, you could set them against each other and the problem might solve itself
