And y’know what? He’s absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.
Wait, we must have the same dude!
Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.
Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.
I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife
I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.
If it helps I didn’t marry an asexual woman and I still get none.
Sucks to be me, plus a kid!
Wait, how do you know she’s not asexual?
Do asexual people not even want to try it, out of curiosity?
ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.
At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it’s like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don’t know.
Now I’m into knitting and kumihimo.
I don’t want to try it. Don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t even have functioning genitals on account of being intersex. I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.
Some people tell me, “well, you haven’t had the right dick or pussy yet!” And I always reply, “and you haven’t had the right arsenic yet, keep trying different kinds.”
Turns out that the wizard powers for being a forty year old virgin only apply if one ever had the option or desire to lose the virginity in the first place.
“I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.”
Immortal words, my friend. I commend their beauty.
Any upsides?
False
Yeah I was about to say trans folks exist lmao
Okay but then you still have same sex person jacking you off, that’s hella gay were you a dude, gal or anything between or beyond
Got 'em.
Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫡
Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post
And I must admit I love that dude.
Dude, you’re supposed to hate yourself, you’re the same gender as yourself, so loving that person is gay!
Wrong. My hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. She likes tacos and burritos.
Ben Affleck has entered the chat.
I’ve been handling dick for 30+ years. Id give a great handjob.
Wait I think you have to renew your licence
Promise?
Maybe. But it’s going to be a different angle, so it might mess up your muscle memory.
Maybe he should sit behind.
I like where your head’s at. Much easier to access.
Much easier to access.
Oh yes. That too.
Uhh no, I’m just jerking a tgirl off and getting jerked by a tgirl.
Not my gf, but eh, still good.
If you wouldn’t let the homies jerk you off, are you even friends?
Inverse if you are a girl, everytime you masterbate you’re getting fingered by a girl
He knows what he’s doing and I love him.
He’s easy and available, though I honestly wish I could find someone who suits me better.
This sounds like something a christian fundamentalist would say, to stop the youth from masturbating.
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Hope you got some much-needed sleep! ❤️
Well, yeah, but he knows exactly what I like.
