Okay like yeah, I agree, BUT
there are few day-to-day mundane-things as funny as maxing out the volume on self-checkout machines which allow you to do so
“Please place your items in the bagging area” becomes
“Please place your items in the bagging area”
One of my worst experiences with a bot was calling Australia Post to try and track down a package that was sent to the wrong address. I had to speak the tracking number to the ‘voice recognition software’ because it was alpha-numeric, and no matter how slowly or deliberately I enunciated it, it could not recognise it. I tried dozens of times, and couldn’t get through to a human until it had the number, until 6pm ticked over and the call centre closed.
My computer’s startup beep gets a pass. That little noise is sooo reassuring to hear.
Glorious POST. The only acceptable noise
I miss my floppy drive greeting me.
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It’s praying to you in it’s own tongue, this is the way of righteous machines
When it makes the tones you never hear, and RAM is ridiculously expensive.
You should record it.
I agree, just without the religious dogma… I’m a person, its a tool… I don’t need a tool tanking me and I don’t need to thank a tool. That’s it.
Selfcheckout machine has no right to speak in the imperative
“Did you remember to swipe your shoppers card?” Like, you fucking know I didn’t. You are the swipe, and you know the only thing I swiped so far was a bag of carrots.
(Image source, for those curious)
This is how my husband is.
Then there’s me, a Detroit: Become Human enjoyer, and I give thanks to Fred, my off-brand roomba, when he does his job well.
New kink unlocked
“Ugh, yes, call me a stupid clanker! Turn me off and back on again!”
Damn, my eyeballs were having a pretty good morning…
I might consider using voice prompts on Google assistant if it wasn’t so terrible at understanding me. You’d think after over a decade and with all their resources Google could have made it better at understanding a British accent. It still gets about 1/5 words completely wrong.
You know OP there are treatments for that level of constipation.
we need a butlerian jihad. I want smart humans and dumb machines again
Well fuck you too buddy, imma go ahead and talk to a fellow bot at the NSA and release your internet history. Not so divine now are ya.
If it speaks it has a tongue. If it has a tongue, it can be cut out.
“Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”
While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?
I want to try any time I’m in a house with a “smart” speaker.
