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I AM A STURGEON
Scream it at the seagull instead, act like a damn apex predator. Seagulls don’t speak human, you need to speak seagull.
Most birds are running an evolved intimidation algorithm that has more to do with humans rarely ever standing their ground, much less retaliating. I’m more used to Canada geese charging and trying to bite with their tongue depressor-like beaks. But apparently gulls, despite being 4 times less massive than geese, do have the potential to poke eyes with their sturdy beak and scratch the face with their claws.
Where is the news article about the man who threw a gull against a wall for stealing his chip?
Gotta maintain position on the food chain. I’m with chip man
As a former Austin resident, I am wise enough to know that the price of a.peaceful lunch is to leave some leftovers for the grackle overlords. Fail to do this and they will shit on you, your car, AND your lunch…then steal it.
You’ll feed the shit-hawks and you’ll like it.
That’s OP’s fault for not bringing their beach gun.
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