On the NYC subway a guy was taking up two seats, he pulls out a notebook and starts (screaming) reading from it. It was all about some conspiracy that got him kicked out of Columbia University. People started moving away from him. At the next stop a guy gets on the train and says to “hey psycho you really need two seats” the crazy guy slides over freeing up one of the seats and then goes back to yelling.
Newbie strap-hanger new to The City, a train rolled-up empty and it was cold or hot as fuck, and in my naivety was like, “these idiots aren’t hittin up all the free space!!!”… Yeah, dude taking a shit.
A very intoxicated man explained at length to my friend and me that we should stay in school instead of dropping out to join the military like he did. He wasn’t wrong.
i had a dude walk up to me and say “never just take unsolicited advice”
possibly the best advice i ever got. total mindfuck though
A group of us in NYC and dude rolled up with a rope and declared, “Never leave the house without some rope” and then went on his way.
Could’ve been a firefighter. They’ll tear your ass apart in the fire academy if you don’t have your rope on you, at all times. Now that I think about it, you wouldn’t believe the stuff I keep in my car at all times now.
BDSM enthusiast is another possibility. Never know when you’ll run into someone who wants to be tied up.
I NEED MY TOOLS!
They must have felt so vindicated by Boondock Saints.
Probably just another Big Rope stunt.
So do you follow his unsolicited advice of not following his advice? Or do you not follow it, by following it?
Thats fucking amazing.
That’s the IRL / performance art equivalent of “ceci n’est pas une pipe.”
I had forgotten about that painting. Lol thanks for reminding me, that’s a great comparison.
Uh, this is not a reminder to stare at art.
Please do not stare at art.
Art get very nervous when you stare at them.
Welp, that was unintentional, but… apparently our shadow person here… yep, meet Arthur everyone.
Don’t be shy.
… he would not like that, if you were shy…
EDIT: Wow, I thought this comment was in another thread.
… I’m leaving this here for additional absurdity.
EDIT 2:
I found Arthur
Lmao, love it.
Hi Arthur.
I thought I was was responding to an entirely different thread in an art comm.
The piece is titled “Happy Person Having A Pleasant Conversation In Public”, by Randy Ortiz.
… But now, he is Art, Arthur.
I was sat opposite a woman who had a grocery bag filled to the brim with crisps packets, or so it seemed. She started out just munching on crisps, mouth fully open, shoving her hands in there. She emptied two packs in between two stops (metro). Efficient.
When she had enough she started rumaging frantically through her bag for a solid 20 seconds, and then triumphantly dug out a can of whipped cream (squirty cream format for my UK friends), opened it, and just emptied the whole thing in her mouth in one go!
It was in France, of all fucking places.
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Pregante? What is that? Is that how babby formed?
No that’s pragnent
Gregnant.
- perginat
- pargent
- bregant
- prengan
- pergert
Those are the ones I can remember off the top of my head
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No she did not seem interested in me.
pregananant
Breakfast of champions.
Continental breakfast of champions
I watched a guy chug a bottle of orange Listerine, ramble incoherently for ten minutes, then proceed to have uncontrollable diarrhea all over the seat before getting off the train.
Man, I’ve been homeless and seen some wild shit on busses… fairly regularly…
That?
What you’ve just described?
That’s expectional even to me.
God damn.
In Halifax, two teenage girls talking on the bus. One girl was describing how her boyfriend fucks her. Very graphic.
i had a co-worker like this. she got fired for sexual harassment. would come in every weekend and loudly tell people about the hot guy that fucked her ass in detail.
Too many people in the world need to share everything about themselves with the public. I don’t get it.
a massive insecurity complex that forms a endless need for validation from other people.
people like that have zero ability to self-validate their choices, so they need to broadcast every choice to others to tell them how great it is.
That makes sense.
That’s just Rita, Sue & Bob Too.
Waiting for a matatu and one dude starts beating the shit out of another. Two separate times.
Cool dude gets on near Bakersfield, sits next to me, drinks a 12 pack and tells me how he murdered people in prison.
Various people smoking crack, meth, and fety on trains and buses
Dude gets asked to turn his music down, goes on escalating and frankly impressive rant for 10 minutes about how he’s going to cut the guys head clean off with his machete
Various guys jacking off
Various rants against every race
Spent 90% of my life taking public transit and I love it. Big public transit fan and I wish people would intermingle more in general.
But, if you talk loudly or listen to music on the tinny speakers on your phone, you are the scum of the earth in my eyes. I’d rather have a dude strung out on heroin on the train than you, absolutely no hint of sarcasm.
Some people are not built for coliving on the same planet.
Some tweaker was huffing compressed air cans, but the kind that have the bittering agent to discourage people from huffing. The stuff got into the air and was very unpleasant for everyone. I had to get off at the next stop and wait for another train, I couldn’t breathe.
Once an old guy asked me to hold the door for him when the train stops so he can stand up and get out. I did but he took very long to stand up so I instinctively went to help him, the door closed and the train went on. So we both excited at the next stop and wanted to get the train back. It was the worst possible stop because the walk was crazy long and the old guy crazy slow. Me being way too helpful, I walked with him and he told me about how his family never visits him anymore and all kinds of trouble in his life, while one train after the other passed by. Eventually we arrived on the other side, got back to the original stop and exited. I escorted him to a taxi. He was very thankful for the adventure and I was a few hours late to work.
Aww, you are a kind and good person, and I’m glad that you’re in this world with me.
I try to be but it was honestly overwhelming since I’m actually not a very social person, especially not back then. Luckily he was talking most of the time. It was a learning experience for me and I’m glad I did it.
Work can wait, people in need cannot. You did the right thing. Thanks for talking about it here.
Santacon and elf con crossed tracks at a train stop. For some reason there was also a train full of clowns and a few mime artists all on the same train.
I’ve had to administer noloxone twice on the subway (once was on the platform)
some guy sat across from me and started screaming at me how beautiful my boots were and what a removed i was. then went into this long story about how he’d be rich like me if his bitch mom hadn’t stolen his dad’s money. then he went on about his dreadlocks being beautiful and perfect and he’ll cut anyone who calls it cultural appropriation.
nobody had said a word to this guy, he just went off for one stop then got off to change cars probably to go tell the same weird nutbag rant to the next subway car.
I don’t know if you are aware, but your instance seems to have censored your post. It says beautiful my boots were and what a removed I was
that’s because my instance is gay and doesn’t like bad words for gay people
A woman jumped while I was waiting for the train at my home station. It wasn’t pretty…
I’m so sorry you had to see that.
I saw a guy jump off a bridge when I was driving by. He didn’t break the ice and was laying in the middle of the river for quite some time as first responders had to get down the icy/snowy cliffs.
hoo boy have I got a story for you!
It’s my first day heading to work after moving to a new apartment. I get on the bus around 7 AM. My guide dog (Guide Dog 1 from a previous post) is under my seat with her head poking out a bit into the aisle.
A few stops down route and this drunk lady gets on and sits right next to me. I’m a little annoyed but it’s public transit and a lack of personal space is par for the course.
“Oh, a doggy,” she slurs in Spanish, attempting to pet my dog’s head. Unfortunately she misses and starts petting my leg instead. I jump up and relocate to another seat, but not before telling the woman “Please don’t touch my dog, and don’t touch me either.” The rest of the ride she’s groping the air in the general direction of my dog.
Some other anecdotes in no particular order:
- Someone in the back of the bus screaming “It’s my birthday WOOOOOOOO!”
- A lady ranting at the driver to stop for a good 20 minutes because she has to pee
- A smelly bum falling asleep on my shoulder
I have to mention a time where I was probably the strange one: after the lockdowns ended but while masking was still common, I would wear a full respirator with face shield, basically a gas mask, while on the bus. My rationale is that a normal paper or cloth mask stops the wearers germs from getting out but doesn’t do so well at stopping them from getting in. I can’t see who is or isn’t wearing a mask, so I’m going to wear something that WILL protect me against the non maskers.
EDIT:
Oh and the time my bus got cut off by another bus and the driver got out and started yelling at the other driver. I was already within walking distance of my destination, so I just noped off the bus before it could escalate.
EDIT 2:
same bus as the drunk dog petter, this guy would get on at the stop after mine. I called him Mr. Bucket because he always carried this large white plastic bucket that smelled absolutely foul.
EDIT 3:
I get on a bus (different city) while wearing a lanyard with a name badge on it. I forget to slip the lanyard under my shirt, and this lady leans in and grabs the lanyard to examine the card.
Her: “You’re from [name of place on the lanyard]?”
Me, unable to lie at this point: “…yes”.
Yeah, if you ride public transport enough you get a lot of stories. While I do not encourage it, I do look back fondly on some of it.
Someone called the bus driver a girl for being sensitive so he called the police on them.
I find it funny how men will call women emotional but then we get ol yam tits and his pedo gooner squad with that angry ass hobbit and they have thinner skin than a pudding cup. Going into bitch-ass screeching queen of hearts mode whenever someone hints at them being exactly what they are.
