Let’s have a lunch and learn!
I can’t read this shit on the weekend you guys are killing me :p
Any mention of “family” and I’m out. You aren’t my fucking family. I barely tolerate any of you, and I only go that far because I am forced to participate in this bullshit just so I can feed and shelter myself. Just give me my project, shut your dick sheath, and let me grind my life away in silence.
On a totally unrelated note, “team player”.
Any talk of “we” from the boss really means “you”. It’s exceptionally maddening when the boss is already a POS who has an A+ for delegation but F- for teamwork and care factor.
Lessons learned
“Learnings”
Yes its an old word and was repopularized by Borat of all things.
Ugh. Just say lessons or something. Leanings just sounds … wrong.
Wow, lots of “double clicks”, which is fairly new to the usual list.
Because it’s new and awful. Also implies that these massive new work is just a simple tasks. 0/10
Place I worked at some time ago made a big speech and unveiled the following company motto to a lot of confused faces: “Engagement makes awareness sustainable.”
Nice. I’ll drive alignment on this value with my directs. I’ll status you tomorrow.
How dare you not overachieve for your corporate overlords!
Dance, monkey, dance!
We’re going to hyperconverge our core past the edge node and clear out to the cloud!
I still hate “leverage” used as a synonym for “use.” “We leverage technologies” yeah sure, when was the last time you had your asshole leveraged?
Next biz bro bestseller: “Leverage the power of your bowels to produce fertiliser that promotes growth”
Yesterday I aligned with Harold from the CD team on how to pull the data off their SI table, and so today I’m going to work on validating that data. I’ll probably be done by tomorrow
Collaborator instead of employee. That’s a usage that has spread through every company in French. It’s infuriating how it.she just plain lying.
“double click” to mean “focus on” or “explore in more depth”
Typical double click request is as follows:
Manager: Leadership wants a “double click” on the numbers on slide 8.
Doer: What do they want to see.
M: Well they wanted to see more about the numbers on slide 8 they thought it was interesting.
D: What number? Interesting how?
M: They want a double click? Does that work? How long will that take?
D: ummm a week?Sorry, I run KDE.
It always sounds so deliberate.
It just sounds forced to me.
It’s never said by people who created this slang as kids growing up with computers, it’s like managers who just invented it in their 40somethings.
Like they’re trying to be cool, but it’s just not cool
“We’re family”
#1 toxic workplace red flag
Unrelated but I only recently realised that when someone says they believe in family values it means they want to impose their definition of “family” on everyone else.
From an employer I guess when they refer to family they’re really referring to a bond beyond work, which basically means they’re expecting more from you than you’re paid for?
War room
You’re a Karen and you’re going to talk to Pete from accounting about what gift to buy for Sally’s birthday
You can’t fight here, this is the war room
