The best way to talk to a woman is to treat her like a person

Become a ball of anxiety, never talk to them, remain alone.

Be a normal person around them without trying anything. If they like you, you’ll notice it.

… usually randomly 5 years afterward.

Being near them for 4 years as a casual acquaintance and hoping they eventually initiate something.

My technique is to not be interested in the person. Not like ignoring them or being mean or anything. But… when I like someone, I get all shy and awkward around them and I tend to screw up any attempt at socializing.

If I’m not romantically interested in them, I can be myself, which I’ve been told is naturally very funny and flirtatious.

Every person I’ve ever dated was a friend long before I started a relationship with them, because I took the time to know them and eventually developed mutual feelings for them. By the time I was asked out, I already had deep respect for them and felt comfortable being myself around them, so dating was just the next step in our relationship.

And yes, I’ve always been the one asked out. I asked out a girl once, and instead of just saying no, she made a public spectacle about how creepy I was and how she would never date me. I was extremely shy back then and my failed attempts to approach her apparently came off as me creeping on her, so by the time I actually worked up the courage to talk to her, she gave me a traumatizingly public “hell no.” I never asked anyone else out again after that. I’ve dated close to a dozen people in my life and every single one of them asked me out.

You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up.

“Hi, I’m an ultra boring nerd girl. I’m on several Fediverse platforms. …No, I don’t know Nicole. Please don’t follow me. No seriously please don’t.”

I’m not very good at socialising, sorry

Her: So, you want anything to drink?

Wait are you hitting on them at their place of work, as a customer? Don’t fucking do that.

The closest I’ve ever gotten to intentionally flirting and it succeeding was playing “Questions Only.” with someone who didn’t know I was playing this. My friend, who dared me to play, had to tell the target my name since I couldn’t say my name since I had to respond to everything with a question.

So, um, learn to listen?

I’m starting to get in to the dating game but my strat currently is try to become friends with them first, then SO after. If it doesn’t end well maybe you’ll have a good friend

Showing genuine interest in their personality and hobbies with eye contact. Asking questions about the aforementioned hobbies.

If you ever have the opposite situation, like say you are taken but someone has started flirting with you. You can either say you are spoken for or do the opposite of the above advice and talk only about yourself, adding some petty complaints about your life in general.

So, tell me, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Here is my favorite technique:

“First treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again.” -Shawn (Psych)

Treating some like a person first is really the most important thing. Everything else is optional but people like to be treated special for a while before being a person again.

In my experience flirting effectively has been about being open to possibility without becoming attached to any particular outcome. Someone sent me this video as a joke years ago and I’ve come back to it dozens of time because there’s a lot of truth hiding behind the silliness. We view flirting as thing you do, but I prefer to see flirtatiousness as a mindset I sometimes embody. https://youtu.be/B4g-IlGtpZg